Going Concern

‘Sex Is Kind of Like Dancing, Right?’

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

ACORN, yes, Bill O’Reilly’s favorite non-profit, is giving tax advice. Apparently, prostitution qualifies as a performing art. Who are we to argue?

Yes, it’s almost ten minutes but it’s worth it.

Check out Part II over at TaxProf Blog.

Working the Weekend: Sept. 15th Deadline Edition

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

At this point for you tax peeps your days are probably running together. It’s fine. Tuesday is only how many days away? Just grab your favorite concoction to get your game back on and you’ll plow through.
Don’t worry tax trolls, we’ll get our own cocktail and check up on you this weekend to get you through it. Why? Because we’re solid.
If you’re having nightmares about 1065’s and whatnot, detail them for us in the comments.

The CPA Exam for Commitmentphobes

Adrienne Gonzalez
September 11, 2009

Editor’s note: Adrienne Gonzalez is founder and managing editor of Jr Deputy Accountant as well as regular contributor to leading financial/investment sites like Seeking Alpha and GoldmanSachs666. You see all of her posts for GC by going here. By day, she teaches unlicensed accountants to pass the CPA exam, though what she does in her copious amounts of freetime in the evening is really none of your business. Follow her adventures in Fedbashing and CPA-wrangling on Twitter @adrigonzo but please don’t show up unannounced at her San Francisco office as she’s got a mean streak. Her favorite FASB is 166.
The first time I addressed the CPA exam here on Going Concern, I may have given the firms a little too much credit. Keep in mind that I write from the perspective of a CPA Review Project Coordinator; in other words, I’ve heard every excuse in the book.
I need more time on my course. Work got really busy and…
Continued, after the jump

Listen, I understand that the CPA exam is a serious commitment. I also understand that first and second year new hires get worked like slave labor. What I do not understand is why this should be my problem 2 years after the student’s course expired with not a peep in between. Can you use this excuse in college? “Yeah, sorry I didn’t make it to my Final… um, I know it was 3 years ago but can I just take it again? I got really busy.” I dare you to try.
What I’ve learned from my time in the CPA Review trenches – something that I will take with me for the rest of my life – is quite simple. In the time it takes to come up with reasons why you don’t have the energy, time, knowledge, or ability to pass the CPA exam, you could have already passed it.
Yes, you. You could have passed this thing years ago. All of a sudden you’re staring down a promotion and realize that there’s no way you’ll be able to make the leap with that obnoxious colleague who passed the exam in 4 months. How can you possibly compare?
Well you can’t, first of all. Second of all, I’m willing to bet my entire inventory of Wiley CPA Review books that he’s full of shit. So is the guy who said he had an hour and a half left when he walked out of FAR, as is the chick who says she got a 95 on BEC (she’s our student, you know, and she got three 60s before that, not to mention cussed out by me for an hour before she finally passed). They are not you. And you, little CPA exam candidate, are the only person who matters in all of this.
Not your parents, not your boss, not your firm and not even your significant other. You. Is this what you want to do with your life or not?
If it was, you’d be at the Prometric center in full war paint ready for battle 45 minutes before they open, not calling me trying to explain how complicated your life got in the two years since I’ve heard from you. Apparently you forgot that you friended me on Facebook and I can see you filling out 79 quizzes in just three short hours.
What exactly are you waiting for? Time? Trust me, you’ll never have it.

Uncategorized

Your Firm Has Questions. Answer Them Here

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

E&Y’s global survey has rolled out and we’ve obtained a list of questions that Ersnters are being asked.
After the jump, we’ve presented a partial list for feedback on your respective firm.

Since the standard “Strongly Agree, Agree, Neutral, Disagree, or Strongly Disagree” format doesn’t tell the whole story (and are pretty boring), we’re asking you to pick your favorite(s) and give your full answer in the comments.
• I have the time I need to deliver quality work.
• People at the Firm are held accountable for their performance.
• If I had a question or concern about the way we conduct business, I would not hesitate seeking advice or reporting my concerns.
• People I work with inspire others to do great things at the Firm.
• I understand the measures used to evaluate my performance.
• I am rewarded appropriately for the work I do.
• I believe my pay and performance are linked.
• I trust the information I receive from leadership.
• Leadership does a good job of explaining the reasons behind major decisions.
• I rarely think about looking for a new job with another company.
Be honest. Please. If you don’t see your favorite, submit it in the comments along your response.

Big 4

E&Y’s Substitute for Pandora

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

E&Y_Drum.jpg

Big 4

Now That the #1 Spot Is Secure, Deloitte Is Making Some Changes

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

We’re not sure when Deloitte dropped the hammer on Pandora but the timing of us hearing about it is dubious since the coveted #1 spot on BW’s list is safely in print.
Much like E&Y, we’re curious as to the motivation here. Bandwidth sucking notwithstanding, your morale doesn’t seem to be much of a concern here. Green dots, kindly discuss in comments your theories behind the latest buzz kill. The rest of you (minus E&Y, natch) can share what you’re listening to currently as pure schadenfreude.

Preliminary Analytics

Preliminary Analytics | 09.11.09

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

sexy accountant.jpg • Accountants Misled Us Into Crisis – Yes. You. [Floyd Norris/NYT]
• Prosecutors Are Poised to Impanel AIG Grand Jury – “In the AIG matter, the swaps at issue led to billions of dollars in write-downs for the insurer after PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP, its auditor, said the process AIG used to value them was flawed. Pricewaterhouse could be called to testify about, among other things, the way in which it came to determine there was a material weakness in the internal controls used by Mr. Cassano’s group to value the swaps, the people familiar with the matter said.” [WSJ]
• Bloomberg Among Potential Bidders for McGraw-Hill’s BusinessWeek – Whether the Big 4 remains on the Launch list remains to be seen. [WSJ]
• New Charges in Stanford Case – “Mr. Perraud arranged for a shredding company to come to the office and supervised the shredding of a 95-gallon bin full of documents, the indictment said.” This guy thought he knew how to destroy documentation. Fool. Leave that to us. [Reuters via NYT]

Review Comments

Review Comments | 09.10.09

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

140px-United_States_Securities_and_Exchange_Commission.png • SEC contrite over failure to uncover Madoff – The victims, we understand you want to let them know. The rest of us? WE GET IT. [Reuters]
• AICPA Proposes Clarification on Sharing Client Information – In a word: Don’t. [Compliance Week]
• Geithner: Banks To Repay $50 Billion In Rescue Funds – Is someone still tracking this? [NPR]
• Recession Takes Heavy Toll on U.S. – There’s this…[WSJ]
• Stocks Rally to New 2009 Peaks – …then there is this. [WSJ]

Uncategorized

Our Advice: Always Remember Pants

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

We’re presenting a typical dress code that one firm put up for its recruitment season. It’s not really important whose it is because you could slap any firm name on it and it would be believable.

Women
• When wearing a skirt, hosiery is a good idea.

• Shoes should be clean and not too high. Strappy sandals are not very professional.

• Spaghetti straps and strapless tops are not okay in the office or a networking event.

• Make sure skirts and tops are not too tight or too short. Your midriff should never be exposed.

• Hair should be kept neat and simple. Jewelry should be conservative and tasteful – never make noise or too distracting.

Men
• Keep any facial hair neatly trimmed.

• Pants should be clean and pressed. They should be tailored, sit at the waist and rest on the top of the shoes.

• Shirts should be clean, pressed, and collared.

• Be sure to wear socks that match–not athletic socks.

General
• Aim for a neat, clean look.

• Remove visible body piercings and cover tattoos.

• Pay attention to the fit of your clothes–make sure they aren’t too tight.

• Keep perfume/cologne to a minimum.

• Always think about what message you want to send. If you have to stop and wonder, “Can I get away with this?” it’s probably not a good idea.

Our first reaction to this list is that while women seem to have the most rules, lots of men we’ve observed need serious fashion help. Lots of men wear khakis that look like Hammer-pants. And “matching socks”? Is this the best they got for gents?

So, discuss fashion faux-pas. State your most hated abuse of fashion in the comments. Personally, pleated pants are pretty much the worst. Btw, “don’t dress like a ho” doesn’t suffice as a faux-pas you dolts.

Uncategorized

Our Token Swine Flu Post

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

We’re upping our pandemic coverage today because 1) it’s god-awful slow out there and B) refer back to #1. Apparently most businesses out there don’t really have a plan in case this whole H1N1 thing gets medieval on our asses.
Continued, after the jump

AP:

The survey found that two-thirds of the more than 1,000 businesses questioned nationwide said they could not maintain normal operations if half their workers were out for two weeks. Four out of every five businesses expect severe problems if half their workers are out for a month. “What we found is that a minority of businesses have started some sort of emergency planning,” said Robert Blendon, a professor of health policy and leader of the project sponsored by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Most, I don’t think, have thought through the implications of something so widespread.”

Surely you’d think that the accounting firms would not fall into this particular category. We glanced over the BW list again (because we’ve got nothing better to do) and surprisingly, only PwC and McGladrey & Pullen have sick days listed. P. Dubs is “Unlimited” and M&P provides five days. The other firms have nothing listed.
So are we to assume that the other usual suspects don’t provide any sick days? Most of you are aware of the really obnoxious habit that some people have of coming to work when they should probably be in the hospital. They pop some Airborne or overdose on Vitamin C and they think they’re cured.
Then, of course, there are types that assume that anyone who calls in sick is faking because, well, their jobs sucks. So the “sick” play at accounting firms is always a lose-lose-lose.
So the question should be asked: What the hell happens when half your team can’t crawl out of bed? Are the firms going to start giving you GASP sick days? Are the firms going to provide everyone with biohazard suits so everyone can still come to work? Maybe just the new associates and partners (probably the most likely scenario)? Discuss.

Uncategorized

McGladrey & Pullen Needs to Quit Being Nice to Us

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

On the one hand we feel bad about missing McGladrey & Pullen being on BW’s list of Best Places to Launch a Career. They land at #66 but the picture at right wasn’t used and frankly, our attention span is short.

We’re also a little disappointed that the M&Pers out there didn’t jump our shit about missing it altogether. Perfect opportunity for you call us out for being a Big 4 whore or something to that effect. Probably due to the Minnesota Nice or maybe you’re all clinically depressed because your firms are getting divorced. WTFK.

Regardless, your opportunity is gone because this is the GC “our bad” statement for leaving you out of the previous posts.
However, when we probed M&P’s profile we discovered that the five year retention rate was 18%. And M&P sponsors Natalie Gulbis for crissakes. We shouldn’t have to explain how valuable she would be in the recruiting and retention processes. We just convinced ourselves that we don’t feel bad at all.

Get it together M&P.

Big 4

Apparently Your Farewell Emails Need Work

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

With all the bitterness out there, we’re really not sure why this particular person is getting attention.
We surmised yesterday that the Brits seem to take a more active interest in all things bean county but their articulation in farewell emails certainly can’t be superior to yours. After all, you can’t hear the accent when you read.
After the jump, a taste of the bitterness that’s getting lots of attention in the UK:

Today is my last day at PwC. I haven’t sent this to everyone because what would be the point? Why do people send their leaving emails to everyone? We didn’t care about you then and we certainly don’t care about you now.
I still presume hardly any of you knew me, which is good because I’m rubbish at audit, so I wouldn’t have helped your stellar careers.
I’ve also learned how not to decorate an office – green and orange block colour walls with business buzz phrases on. ‘Find your space’, ‘always add value’ etc. Where do these terrible phrases come from? Is there a team of people lurking about in Embankment Place whose only duty is to pump out corporate drivel?
I look forward immensely to never having to attend an event in which Our Beloved Leaders stand up and tell us we’ve massively exceeded budget, so in reward we get no bonuses and instead we get the treat of listening to Coldplay while quotes from the greatest leaders of our times are played across a screen.
I’m also on Facebook but I hate it. I’m sure you’ve got real friends of your own and I’d prefer if you left me alone quite frankly.
If we ever talked (doubtful, I avoided anyone that looked like they might give me some work), add away.
I’ve left some treats in the group area.
Not really.
Bye forever xxx.

PwC accountant’s email is global hit [Telegraph]

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Tax Manager, Hybrid

Seasonal Tax Preparer, State College PA

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Tax Manager, Hybrid

Seasonal Tax Preparer, State College PA

Remote Finance Expert, AI Trainer