We don’t know a damn thing about gemstones but we’ll go out on a limb to say that 10,700 carats is a lot. That’s the size of a “ruby” that E&Y has the esteemed pleasure of trying to sell, as the administrators of now bankrupt Wrekin Construction in the UK.
The stone was once valued around £11 million but turns out its worth closer to £100.
E&Y is now resorting to hocking this overpriced paperweight, that will certainly be re-gifted many times over, in Rock ‘n’ Gem Magazine in the UK and Colored Stone Magazine here in the Land of the Free.
Rare £11m gem becomes £100 rock [BBC]
Failed group’s £11m ruby ‘near worthless’ [The Daily Telegraph]
Job of the Week: Yes. That Zagat
If you don’t have enough [insert anything] guides in your life, get yourself a job at Zagat, the mother of all guides to anything and then you’ll never have to wonder what to do ever again.
You may develop an annoyance, however, to all your friends asking for free copies.
Details, after the jump
Company: Zagat Survey
Location: New York
Title: Manager, Accounting
Responsibilities: Month end closing preparation; General ledger maintenance; Enter monthly journal entries and accruals; Account reconciliation and review; Account analysis; Supervise staff performing payroll, accounts receivable and accounts payable functions; Sales tax & Commercial rent tax preparation; Prepare quarterly commissions; Budgeting experience a plus; Supervisory experience
Primary Qualifiations: Bachelors degree; CPA required; Great Plains a plus; Proficient on Excel; Paychex payroll software knowledge a plus; 4-7 years experience acting in role
See the full description at the GC Career Center and check out plenty of other jobs on the main page.
Creepy Accountant of the Week
No matter how good this guy was at preparing tax returns, we recommend finding someone else, if you’re in the Mesa, AZ area:
Jess Alan Skousen was arrested at his Mesa accounting business Wednesday for allegedly having illegal child pornography on his laptop computer
Mesa Police Department spokesman Ed Wessing sai [sic] Skousen, 40, was arrested after his wife found sexual images of children on his computer.
Ouch. The wife turned him in. Can’t say that we blame her.
Wessing identified Skousen’s business as Self Tax Preparation on Stapley Road. The pictures found on the computer include those of children between ages of 2 and 15, some in sexual poses, according to Wessing. The Arizona Corporation Commission lists a number accounting, tax and other businesses under Skousen’s name.
Eight year-olds, Dude.
Mesa tax preparer arrested on child porn charges [Phoenix Business Journal]
Accountants Raiding Accountants Probably Makes for a Hilariously Awkward Scene
Jesus, that was fast. After Wednesday’s snoozer raids at the E&Y office in Hong Kong, Icelandic police have raided the offices of KPMG and PwC in Reykjavik, Iceland, according to the Daily Telegraph.
More, after the jump
Police have raided the offices of KPMG and PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) in Reykjavik, seizing documents and computer data as part of an investigation into alleged criminal activity at three collapsed Icelandic banks…The office of Olafur Thor Hauksson, the Icelandic investigator charged with examining the collapse of
the three banks a year ago, confirmed that 22 policemen and six foreign accountants took part in the searches yesterday.
Six accountants? Whoa, this thing was way more serious. No coffee and bagel strategy here as it would have totally distracted the investigating accountants from their jobs.
Likewise, we doubt anyone was strapped for this raid. Especially the number crunchers. We can definitely picture them begging the police though, “C’mon, they don’t even have to be loaded. We’ll just leave them in the holsters. WE SWEAR.”
The most excitement that we can envision was some bean counter trash talk that may have escalated into open-hand slaps and flailing arms and legs. The real police, after enjoying this hilarious scene for a few moments, would have had no choice but to break up the nerd fight as it began encroaching on the investigation and other people’s personal space.
KPMG and PwC Reykjavik offices are raided by Icelandic police [The Daily Telegraph]
Preliminary Analytics | 10.02.09
• Dunkin’ Donuts president quits – After Thursday’s success, he must have wanted to go out on top. [BBC]
• Strong dollar ‘very important’: Geithner – Not only that but we have to convince the world that we’re thrifty. Then we wouldn’t be Americans, would we? [Reuters]
• Heads Should Have Rolled at Raters: Congresswoman – Pols using hindsight for grandstanding? [CFO]
• CIT Discloses Its Restructuring Plan – “By simultaneously soliciting votes for a prepackaged bankruptcy alongside the debt exchange offers, the company is hoping to scare enough bondholders into supporting the out-of-court restructuring effort.” Run away. [DealBook]
• Don’t forget to vote in the poll for our Caption Contest. It closes at 3 pm EDT.
Review Comments | 10.01.09
• Woods Becomes First Athlete to Earn $1 Billion, Forbes Says – Does that mean he can upgrade from a Buick? [Bloomberg]
• Global Convergence of Accounting Standards? In Whose Lifetime? – Jim Peterson’s take on the cat herding that is accounting rule convergence. [Re: Balance]
• Survey: Investors Want Enforcement, Not New Regulators – Oh? We thought vengeance was what they were looking for. [Compliance Week]
• Guess the Ken Lewis beard – Again, we picture the ZZ Top for KL. [FT Alphaville]
• Auditor-Small Issuer Controls Spats Seen – “Will smaller companies get along with their auditors when their internal controls get reviewed for the first time?” In short: No. [CFO]
Can Someone Forward to Barry Salzberg?
Thanks. We assume he has a subscription.
Toupee Test: From Hair Hat to Good Match [WSJ]
Raid at E&Y Hong Kong Was Probably Really Boring
We don’t know what to make of the raid at the E&Y offices in Hong Kong that occurred yesterday. We’d like to think that it was something out of 24 where Jack Bauer was “forced” into an impossible situation where he had to shoot a sheisty auditor in the leg to find out where the “certain documents” were.
Alas, it sounds as though it was considerably less dramatic, falling way short of anything worthy of the Absurd-o-meter.
The HK Fuzz probably even talked it over before going to the E&Y digs and said, “We’re going where? Accountants? We don’t even need our guns for this one. Let’s just take coffee and bagels and they’ll probably do whatever we ask.”
We’re probably not far off as E&Y was sure to reiterate their intent to ‘engage with and further investigations into the Akai matter’. Bor-ing.
Not that we were expecting much but it would have been nice that if just once we’d hear about accountants stonewalling some authority figures. Instead, the Head of E&Y China is stepping down, which is hardly the same as a vast conspiracy that may or may not involve the President of the United States. Sigh. There’ll be a next time soon enough.
Hong Kong Police Raid Ernst & Young [WSJ]
HK police raid E&Y offices over documents [FT]
Earlier: EY Doesn’t Want to Be Outdone By Anyone So They Went to Hong Kong for a Scandal
KPMG Layoffs Part II Follow-up
It’s been fairly quiet since this past Tuesday’s layoffs but it sounds like lots of cuts occurred in national support services in Montvale, NJ. We also received a tip that the Richmond office let go a few professionals from their Internal Audit Risk & Compliance team which adds to the advisory cuts that were reported last week.
We also got more details on the Chicago office’s layoffs of tax professionals:
In addition to the 5 from ICS there were at least these:
• 4 in Fed Tax (Consumer Markets) – 1 manager, 2 seniors, 1 associate
• 1 in SALT – manager
• 1 in EVS – senior manager
• 3 in Fed Tax (Real Estate) – 1 managing director, 2 seniors
There were lots of rumors of it continuing this week, so continue to keep us updated. The bright side is today is New Year’s Day in the land of Klynveld.
Be Prepared if the Recovery Fails, Part II
In the first part of our two part interview with Financial Armageddon’s Michael Panzner, we dealt with the ugly part, but what about the bright side? I guess one wouldn’t expect a doom and gloomer to have a silver lining tucked into his rain cloud but trust me, it’s there and it’s not nearly as bad as it seems.
In case you mi =”http://www.goingconcern.com/2009/09/do-it-like-an-eagle-scout-be-p.php”>it may be found here.
Of all of the things we got out of speaking with Panzner, two key points resonated above all the fear and panic and fright: A) though it’s bad and will likely be bad for quite some time, what results once we flush out the garbage will leave us better off than we were before the shit hit the fan and B) it’s actually really not as bad as it appears.
Huh?
Continued, after the jump
Panzner insists that while China may have the upper hand at the moment, they are also of the pack mentality; meaning that they may not be entirely equipped to cut and run like investors in the West and instead loyal to an ideal that dictates following the pack is sometimes the safest move one can make. What the hell does that mean?
A little bit of Panzner wisdom:
China and other emerging economies have for years used various methods to “protect” domestic industries, including managing foreign exchange rates and creating lots of hoops for outsiders to jump through to do business in domestic markets. So it is probably fair to say that the notion of widespread protectionism is not something new. But with economic circumstances becoming decidedly more hostile, it shouldn’t be surprising to see more and more countries adopting strategies that give local concerns an advantage over outside firms. Not all of them will look like traditional trade barriers, however.
Protectionism is a threat but not all that unlikely of a scenario. Some – Panzner among them – argue that bailouts could be translated as protectionism, and it is no small wonder that sovereign nations would adopt such a strategy in times of economic turmoil. But China doesn’t appear to be prepared to pull the trigger on the economic WMDs, at least not now.
“In the short run, I don’t see the Chinese resorting to the ‘nuclear option,’ where they decide that the strategic advantages of dumping the dollar outweigh the damage they might do to themselves,” he says, reminding us that screwing the US means screwing themselves, something Asian investors tend to find distasteful, to say the least.
As we pointed out in the first part of this Panzner brain-picking, the best strategy to adopt is one of preparedness in the face of uncertainty. This means you, little accountants.
“If the events of the past few years have not convinced people to ask plenty of questions and challenge any sort of assumptions, I don’t know what will,” he tells us. “I would suggest that everybody — including accountants and CFOs — take the Boy Scout motto to heart in their personal and professional lives. That is, hope for the best, expect the worst, and be prepared for whatever happens.”
The “expect the worst” isn’t pretty, at least from Panzner’s qualified perspective, and whether or not you agree with his assessment (as yours truly does), it can’t hurt to be reasonable about the long hard slog called “recovery” ahead of us. “In the end, wishful thinking won’t make it go away, but having a firm grip on reality might make the experience a lot less painful. Ultimately, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I personally think that point could be up to a decade away.”
His is but one opinion of many and as always, it is all in perspective. Regardless of what you believe lies ahead, it can’t hurt to consider the many possibilities that we find in our particular fork in the road. With unemployment climbing and the fate of the dollar in the hands of financial crack addicts at the press, it makes sense that he and others would believe in a future that is only slightly less rosy than the one painted by the powers that be in hopes that we’ll hit the mall and kick consumer spending in the ass once again.
The days of big screen TVs and SUVs are gone but your future remains. It’s all in how you handle that.
We are not here because our central bank did or didn’t do anything, Panzner reminds us, we are here because there has been a crisis of faith in our money, in markets to work their regulatory magic naturally, and in the traditional weapons of monetary policy and politics to scare events into compliance along the way. Does that mean it’s all hopeless and we should just curl up in a ball and cry?
Well no. Didn’t you read the damn interview?
Thanks go out to MP for letting us pick his brain, and we’d love to revisit again 6 months down the road if everything hasn’t fallen apart by then. Just a reminder, you can find him blogging over at Financial Armageddon and When Giants Fall, as well as Huffington Post, Seeking Alpha, and pretty much all over the Internet. Love ya, MP, even though you make me cry sometimes!
Accounting Today’s List of Top 100 People Is Kinda Predictable
It’s nice that the folks over at AT put a list together so we’ve got something to talk about but it’s a fairly predictable list. The inclusions that we did like were Paul Caron over at TaxProf Blog and Bernie Madoff but otherwise it’s not too exciting.
There are a fair amount of politicians (including BO and T. Geith) and bureaucrats on the list which just indicates the slow, antagonizing descent financial accounting rules are making into direct government oversight. Barney Frank on the list is no surprise, we’re just thankful that Maxine Waters didn’t sneak on there because we would have stormed the AT offices with torches.
Pols aren’t nearly as surprising from a tax policy perspective but still, seeing Charlie Rangel on the list is dubious since he can’t even track how many rent-controlled apartments he has.
More, after the jump
The Big 4 are represented by:
• KPMG – Tim Flynn and John Veihmeyer
• PwC – Dennis Nally and Robert Moritz
• E&Y – Jim “I heart global accounting standards” Turley.
• Deloitte – Jim Quigley and Dr. Phil Salzberg
Eddie Nusbaum also made the list for GT but sadly, he doesn’t have a rose in his teeth. The token “large but not TOO large” picks are the McGladrey & Pullen Managing Partner and Clifton Gunderson CEO.
If you’ve got some time to waste today, go download the digital edition and approve of or call bullshit on whoever you see fit.
Problem of the Day: Tattle Tale Emails
No doubt your firm asks you do things that inevitably find their way to the back burner, that you forget about, or just plain don’t want to do. Mandatory ethics training, “crucial” CPE courses, office-wide pep rallies, etc.
By the time you’ve received the tenth email reminding you of the “mandatory ethics training that will ensure that you remain in compliance with firm policy and demonstrate [insert your firm’s name here] commitment to ethics” your urge to say “TO HELL WITH IT” has easily overtaken any intent you had on completing the training in the first place.
More, after the jump
Your aloof attitude, as you’re all acutely aware, is NOT APPRECIATED. Because of your lack of commitment, most firms find it totally necessary to email anyone that you’re remotely connected to, including the partner in charge of your firm/office informing them of your slacker attitude.
You know the type. Your name, next to something to the effect of “not in compliance/attendance” being sent around to inform everyone that your commitment to your firm is clearly in question. Someone obviously surmised that this was the best motivation for you to get your shit together if you want to remain a part of this awesome place to work.
Often times, you’re not even made aware of your non-compliance and one of your goody two-shoes friends sends you an email, “You know you’re in trouble for not going to the town hall meeting, don’t you?”
Just before you consider doing what EVERYONE is expecting you to do (read: freak the f*ck out), you calm everyone down by saying, “Yeah, my bad.” And hopefully it hasn’t gotten to the point where you’re meeting with a very gruff and passive-aggressive partner that drones on about the importance of the CPE/meeting/training in question, because that’s just awkward.
Discuss the stonewalling, and then your firm’s preferred method of tattling on the riff-raff in the comments.
