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GoingConcern
August 11, 2010

A quick word of thanks to this week’s advertiser on Going Concern:

• Sunshine Suites

If you’re interested in advertising on Going Concern, email us at advertising@breakingmedia.com.

Thanks!

News

Just So You’re Aware: There Is Now a Children’s Book Featuring An Accountant…For Your iPhone

Caleb Newquist
August 11, 2010

No doubt that there’s many a fine accountant that wished there was a children’s book that they could read to their 0-4 year-old to demonstrate that it was an honorable and worthwhile calling.

Similarly there are many parents these days that wished for such a book that could be read without the annoyance of your skin touching paper and also the ability to check in at the local coffeehouse on Foursquare.

The wait is over.

Alan the Accountant is the first in a series of new books starring people in careers that are not usually associated with children’s books. Why should only builders and postmen find fame in children’s books?! Accountants are vital to the world economy, yet children are not encouraged to say I want to be an Accountant in the same way they learn about other careers. This book resets the balance.

[…]

As a student the author Jinky Fox planned to become an accountant, but was sidetracked into fine art. ‘The series of books planned for Alan the Accountant will help me examine the exciting world of Accountancy that I turned my back on,’ commented Jinky.

You see people? Jinky is giving back to the profession he left behind. Admirable to be sure. He’s so committed to the profession that there are plans to have Alan star in future books.

Now for you religious types, you may be disturbed by Alan sans pants but rest assured, this is a book for the whole family and the sanctity of your household is not at risk and it could do wonders for your personal financial management.

[via Accounting Tomorrow]

KPMG

Confidential to KPMG: If Phil Mickelson Wins the PGA Championship, Don’t Send Him Omaha Steaks

Caleb Newquist
August 11, 2010

[caption id="attachment_15841" align="alignright" width="260" caption="Not thinking about Five Guys...Not thinking about Five Guys...Not thinking about Five Guys"]

[/caption]

As we briefly mentioned this morning, KPMG Poster Boy Phil Mickelson is only about 90% for this week’s PGA Championship because he’s been suffering from psoriatic arthritis for the last two months.

While this may have hampered his game in the last couple of tournaments, there’s been a far more serious development. Phil has gone vegetarian.

We can only imagine what kind of frenzy this development this has sent the KPMG Phil-handlers into. There’s no doubt in our minds that Omaha Steaks are the go to “FTW Phil!” gift that he receives before after every tournament he wins. But now what? This veggie thing is serious.

“I know this is crazy,” he said Tuesday. “For the last two months now, I’ve been a vegetarian. Can you believe that?”

This puts Mickelson in an awkward position. Not only is he a connoisseur of all things beef, but he is part of an ownership group that has purchased the rights for Five Guys burger and fries franchises in Orange County, Calif.

“The real test is driving by a Five Guys and not stopping,” he said. “I don’t know if I can do that yet, but we’ll see.”

Since it’s only been a couple of months, we doubt that Phil has gotten over the meat sweats yet but if he happens to pull out a victory in this last major, you can expect the big guy will be dumping those Five Guys franchises ASAP.

Mickelson a Strait shooter [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

Regulatory Uncertainty Leaves Small Businesses Reluctant to Hire

Adrienne Gonzalez
August 11, 2010

I know of only one small business owner who has confidently added staff throughout the recession and that’s only because A) he’s really cocky (in the best way, of course) and B) he absolutely needed to in order to survive. Lucky for him he ended up in a fairly recession-proof business and in fact, the recession has been kind as it has driven all sorts of new business to him as the unemployed and jaded look for new career options. But he’s a fluke success and not all small business owners can say they’ve weathered the last two years as well as he has.

Dallas Fed President Richard Fisher and former St Louis Fed President William Poole both feel the hiring problem is based not on the fact that businesses can’t afford it but because business owners are too unsure of the regulatory environment to confidently add staff. I am going to have to agree with them on this one.

Said Fisher in a recent speech:

For some time now in internal discussions with my colleagues at the Fed, I have ascribed the economy’s slow growth pathology to what I call “random refereeing”—the current predilection of government to rewrite the rules in the middle of the game of recovery. Businesses and consumers are being confronted with so many potential changes in the taxes and regulations that govern their behavior that they are uncertain about how to proceed downfield. Awaiting clearer signals from the referees that are the nation’s fiscal authorities and regulators, they have gone into a defensive crouch.

Case in point, Obamacare’s insidious 1099 requirement that we’ve covered plenty up to this point and will continue to cover so long as it threatens to cripple businesses with unnecessary busywork. The House had a chance to kick the requirement in the balls last with with the Small Business Paperwork Mandate Elimination Act (H.R.5141) but failed to pass it, leaving us right back where we were*.

Business owners – and small business owners in particular as they tend to have less capital and fewer chances to “warehouse” out their employee insurance needs in bulk – are understandably reluctant to plug more money into the economy if they are unsure as to how much it’s going to cost just to hire on new staff. Many businesses could hire at this point but have chosen not to simply because they have no idea what sort of financial impact hiring will have on them in the future once new rules are fully written out and implemented.

Seems a bit counterproductive when we’re trying to claw our way out a recession, doesn’t it?

*Full Disclosure: JDA is long Caterpillar at this point in anticipation of the number of bulldozers that will be required just to keep up with the 1099 goodness. How is this helping the economy heal again?

Accounting News Roundup: Hurd Surprised HP with PR Move; Whistleblowers Should Avoid…; Rangel Won’t Have This Resignation Talk | 08.11.10

Caleb Newquist
August 11, 2010

H-P Board Surprised Hurd Didn’t Go Quietly [WSJ]
H-P’s directors ‘hoped he would move on,’ said one person familiar with the situation, adding that the board prefers to focus on ‘protecting the brand and taking the higher ground.’

Mr. Hurd resigned Friday over ethics violations related to his relationship with a former H-P marketing contractor, Jodie Fisher. His exit was immediately followed by hard-hitting comments from H-P executives and a board member. Mr. Hurd left with a separation agreement that included a $12.2 million cash payment and a promise not to disparage the company or ‘induce others’ to do so.

In the days bn, according to a person familiar with the matter, Mr. Hurd hired Sitrick & Co., a Los Angeles-based firm known for handling crisis communications for high-profile individuals, including former H-P chairman Patricia Dunn and celebrity Paris Hilton.”

What Not to Do When Blowing the Whistle [FINS]
Sure you can get paid the big bucks to sing like a canary these days but are some things you might want to consider first.

Black Accountants Group Names New Leader [Afro American]
“Calvin Harris Jr., was recently elected the 24th national president and CEO of the National Association of Black Accountants (NABA). NABA, a 501 c(3) nonprofit, is the leading association for African Americans and minorities in the accounting, audit, finance, information technology, tax, and other business related fields. Harris’s two-year term began July 1.”

Wipfli LLP: Washington state-based Michael R. Bell & Company, PLLC, joins Wipfli LLP [WisBusiness]
“Effective August 1, the partners and associates of Washington state-based Michael R. Bell & Company, PLLC, joined Wipfli LLP, an international CPA firm headquartered in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Michael R. Bell & Company specializes in providing audit, accounting and consulting services to a variety of health care organizations and will become part of Wipfli’s full-service health care industry practice.”

Salesforce Customers Want Better Link to Accounting [Web CPA]
“A new survey of Salesforce.com customers found that the majority of them want to link more closely between their customer relationship management software and accounting software.

The survey, by Salesforce.com partner FinancialForce.com, found that 67 percent of those using competing packages cited a lack of integration of their current accounting software with customer relationship management software as their biggest headache.”

Rangel Says He Won’t Resign, Requests Ethics Hearing [Bloomberg]
Rangs gave a 30 minute speech yesterday to let everyone know that he’s far too old to just rollover for 13 alleged ethics violations.

Plum Benefit to Cultural Post: Tax-Free Housing [NYT]
Being a director of some of the best known museums in the world is not only lucrative (multi-million dollar salary), you can also get a pretty sweet pad – tax free!

Mickelson Has Arthritic Condition That Made Him Question His Golf Future [Bloomberg]
Rest easy T Fly, Phil says he’s back to 90% just in time for the PGA that starts tomorrow.

Quote of the Day

Memo to IRS: Regulating Tax Preparers Is Not ‘Mission Critical’

Caleb Newquist
August 11, 2010

“We believe that the IRS has neither demonstrated the need for extending the non-signing preparer requirements to CPA firms nor that its proposed testing program merits shifting IRS resources away from other mission-critical programs.”

~ Thirty-one members of Congress sent a letter to Tim Geithner, asking TG, Doug Shulman & Co. to, pretty please, reconsider the requirement for non-signing CPAs.

KPMG

Judge Grants Preliminary Approval in New Century Shareholder Settlement: KPMG to Pay $44.75 Million

Caleb Newquist
August 11, 2010

Not to be confused with the settlement that KPMG reached with the Trustee of New Century that we reported on back in June. This particular lawsuit was brought by New York State Teachers’ Retirement System and shareholders in New Century.

Law.com reports:

A federal judge on Monday granted preliminary approval to a $125 million cash settlement for shareholders of bankrupt New Century Financial Corp., one of the largest lenders to collapse during the subprime mortgage meltdown.

The settlement involves three stipulations: Auditor KPMG LLP will pay $44.75 million; the underwriter defendants will pay $15 million; and New Century’s former officers and directors collectively will pay more than $65 million.

Along with the undisclosed sum from the Trustee of New Century, KPMG also paid $24 million to settle with the shareholders of Countrywide. Since we have no idea what the firm paid to settle with the Trustee we can’t give a ballpark number for settlements for the last 3-ish months but on the low end it’s at least $69 million.

If we put the over/under at $100 million, what are you taking? Throw in your ballpark figure just for fun.

$125 Million Shareholder Settlement in New Century Financial Collapse [Law.com]

Earlier:
A Few People Noticed That New Century Execs Settled with SEC

(UPDATE) What Can We Learn From Yesterday’s Quitting Heroes?

Daniel Braddock
August 11, 2010

While you were sitting at your desk yesterday doing whatever it is you do in August*, countless Americans quit their jobs. Due to the state of our barely-above-stagnant economy, it can be assumed that the majority of those who put in their two weeks actually had another job lined up in the wings.

But.

Neither Steve “I always wanted to use the slide” Slater nor Jenny the Hot Piece of Ass assistant had a job to wake up to this morning yet their stories are the talk of your water cooler. Airport security and Internet privacy issues aside, it’s impossible to deny that Slater and Jenny both quit in style.

We have all been there: at the same job for two, five, ten, maybe twenty years and that moment – clear as the cloudless sky – happens that makes the tiny voice of ~~reason~~ ~~insanity~~ common sense scream I’ve HAD IT with this job.

What were your “I’ve had it!” moments? Have any of your colleagues or friends outside of public accounting ever gone down guns ‘blazing? Would you hire Jenny? Share your stories, tales, and opinions of the mystery passenger** who drove Slater nuts below in the comments.

* – No, seriously – help us out – what do you actually do in August? [Ed. Note: Tax peeps, forgive him, he knows not what he says]

** – Does anyone else want to hear from the moronic passenger that rose from their seat prior to the plane being gated? How shitty does that person feel? My guess is that they are too dense to realize they did anything wrong.

UPDATE: By now, you may or may not be aware that the entire Internet was duped by the “Jenny” quitting tale. We’re completely okay with this, mostly because it’s August and there really isn’t anything else going on.

News

Eisner, Amper Politziner Playing Coy on Merger Rumors

Caleb Newquist
August 10, 2010

NJBiz reports that New York-based Eisner is planning to merge with Edison, NJ-based Amper Politziner & Mattia LLP. The two firms – ranked 24th and 26th in Accounting Today’s most recent list of Top 100 firms – combined would have 1,200 employes and over $250 million in revenue.

This would shoot the combined firm – working name: Eisner Amper – to 14th on the list (based on revenues) ahead of Clifton Gunderson and hot on the heels of Baker Tilly Virchow Krause.

From the looks of it, the merger would benefit Eisner’s presence in the Garden State while APM would have much better access to the NYC market.

Eisner’s CEO Charles Weinstein wasn’t reached for comment and Amper CEO Howard Cohen told NJBiz, “We have no binding legal documents with any firm at this time,” which, as far as we’re concerned, basically means that it’s a done deal and the lawyers are still sorting out the signing pages.

Of course there’s always the slim chance for a board room blowup and the whole thing gets called off but we’re all hoping for the best.

EXCLUSIVE: Amper Politziner plans merger with Eisner [NJBiz via Web CPA]

News

HP’s Actions in Hurd Case Do Not Impress

GoingConcern
August 10, 2010

This story is republished from CFOZone, where you’ll find news, analysis and professional networking tools for finance executives.

When HP announced the stunning resignation of Chairman, Chief Executive Officer and President Mark Hurd on Friday, it seemingly wanted the world to think it took the moral high road.

In its press release, the company said a probe into possible sexual harassment charges against Hurd and HP by a former contractor to HP found no violation of HP’s sexual harassment policy, “but did find violations of HP’s Standards of Business Conduct.”

Ooh.

So, basically the company and Board were saying that ethics trumps performance, even when it comes to the guy widely credited for turning around the company.

The populists applauded, hoping that some companies have higher standards than, maybe, Wall Street, where the people who brought us the global financial crisis and caused millions of innocent people to lose their jobs also wound up being rewarded with huge bonuses.

However, these hopes were quickly dashed when we learned that poor Mark Hurd-who joins the growing ranks of the unemployed–will walk away with close to $30 million in severance.

So much for taking the high moral ground.

Now, defenders of Hurd’s package say his employment contract calls for this arrangement. It’s that simple. And a contract is a contract. Blah blah blah.

However, the reality is that if he were fired “with cause,” the company could have been off the hook from paying him anything. Hurd would have received zilch. Then their firing for breaching ethics would have had meat.

In most “with cause” cases, all the company needs to cite is an intentional breach of any of the company’s policies.

Of course, Hurd could have contested this decision and sued the company. But, that would have placed the onus on Hurd and enabled HP to take an even firmer ethical stand, which given its size and stature would have sent a loud and emphatic message to the business community.

But, alas, this was not the route HP’s Board wanted to go. In fact, the beginning of its press release announcing Hurd’s departure, says: “Hurd has decided with the Board of Directors to resign his positions effective immediately.”

On its subsequent conference call, the company reportedly said there was a legal settlement.

What does this mean? Either the company did not want Hurd to walk away with nothing. It could also mean it did not have a good case. It could also mean there were other undisclosed issues involved or Hurd might have some dirt on the company if there were a lawsuit and depositions were taken, even if it did not go to trial.

Of course, HP has its free market right to make a deal with Hurd.

However, don’t try to tell us you’re taking the high moral ground.

Job of the Day

Job of the Day: UBS Needs a Fund of Fund Controller

GoingConcern
August 10, 2010

UBS is looking for an experienced professional to fill a Fund of Fund Controller position in Stamford, CT.

Responsibilities include portfolio monitoring and analysis, product reporting and product and financial control.

Qualifications include several years of public accounting experience and a CPA. Fund of fund experience is a plus.

Company: UBS

Title: Fund of Fund Product Controller

Location: Stamford, CT

Description: This position is w/in Global Asset Management’s Multi-Manager Logistics team within UBS’ Alternative and Quantitative Investment platform based in Stamford. Reporting to the Stamford Alternative & Quantitative Product Control Team leader, the role is one of business decision support, product and financial control, MIS and Client reporting for our hedge fund portfolios. Working within a team of product controllers, this role offers candidates a fantastic opportunity to enter the hedge fund industry, support a dynamic business, build relationships globally and have direct exposure to the investment decision process.

Responsibilities: Maintain the fund of hedge fund portfolios in the portfolio management system; Data analysis to support portfolio risk management and cash management; Monitoring holdings for regulatory / compliance reporting; Supporting country specific reporting requirements; Portfolio guideline monitoring; Liquidity monitoring; Reviewing Net Asset Values from our administrators; Reporting Management and Incentive fees earned and AUM; Client Reporting and Ad Hoc Reporting; Marketing Support and RFP support; A&Q website product data and document approval.

Qualifications/Skills: Several years experience in public accounting and qualified CPA or experience in finance function; Hedge Fund /Fund of Funds experience; Undergraduate degree in Accounting or Finance.

See the entire description over at the GC Career Center and visit the main page for all your job search needs.

News

Having ‘Funniest Accountant’ Contests Only Reinforces The Idea That Most Accountants Are Not Funny

Caleb Newquist
August 10, 2010

Do you have nothing going on? Do you fancy yourself a funny accountant? Would you be comfortable getting up in front of a room full of strangers (presumably drunk) to prove it? Good news! You can now attempt to become the funniest accountant in all of Dixie.

But first you must conquer the Triangle, which shouldn’t be too hard if you stick to disparaging Triad jokes.

The 3rd annual shebang “The Triangle’s Funniest Accountant” was developed as a result of Accountants One’s Accountants Are Funny Too campaign to dispel with the stereotype of accountants being humorless, uptight dorks.

Which brings us to the point – how does having a “funniest accountant” contest dispel a stereotype? Does having a “Most Depressed HR Professional” contest dispel the notion that everyone that works in that capacity is popping anti-depressants to keep up that chipper attitude? Of course not. People like Braddock are either naturally deranged or have a drawer full of Prozac bottles handy to ensure that the sun is alway shining, this is a great company, so on and so forth.

Likewise, a slew of Seinfeld with killer 10-key skills getting on stage to tell Sarbanes-Oxley jokes only serves to remind us that this is a futile ruse that reminds everyone that the hilariously charming accountant on stage is indeed a rarity sight and that he or she has had the good luck to work with colleagues that serve as endless material.

Third Annual Search for the Triangle’s Funniest Accountant [Raleigh Downtowner]

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