Quote of the Day

Bernie Madoff Was Into ‘Madoff Schemes’ Before It Was Cool

“Charles Ponzi is now a footnote. They’re now Madoff schemes.” — Anthony Sabino, a defense lawyer specializing in white collar criminal defense, famously said in July 2009 after Bernie Madoff decided not to appeal his 150-year sentence for fraud. As you’ve probably heard by now, Madoff died today in jail at the age of 82. […]

Successful Whistleblower Slings Some More Mud at EY

“I didn’t feel I had a choice. I had to fight for justice. And any cursory examination of the facts of the case showed that I was clearly in the right. Given that, I have never been able to understand why EY fought a losing battle for so long.” — Amjad Rihan, a former audit […]

Goldman Sachs CEO Must Have Been a Big 4 Partner In a Previous Life

“Just remember: if we all go an extra mile for our client, even when we feel that we’re reaching our limit, it can really make a difference in our performance.” — David Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs, said in a message to the investment bank’s 34,000 staff worldwide last Sunday, in which he responded to […]

Big 4 Firms’ Reward Structure Contributes to Their Bullying Ways, Says Guy

“This is a constant Darwinian contest of survival of the fittest. We need a much better Big 4. Let’s hope the generation coming through will finish off this archaic system of tutelage and abuse based on the dream of the million pound pay day.” — Ken Charman, CEO of uFlexReward, a London-based data company that […]

Guy Suing Deloitte Australia Can’t Believe Everyone At the Firm Is Giving Him the Cold Shoulder

“[This is] in circumstances where my client is finding it very difficult to remain in the partnership and has lost the trust of his partners.” — Paul Moorhouse, the lawyer representing Deloitte Australia partner Colin Brown, said in federal court on March 5. Brown, an audit partner, is accusing Deloitte of age discrimination by unfairly […]

Here’s the Mentality You Should Have When Dealing with Clients This Busy Season, Courtesy of the Detroit Lions’ New Head Coach

On second thought, the whole kicking clients in the face and cannibalism thing will probably land you in hot water with your bosses … and the authorities: “[W]e’re going to kick you in the teeth, right? And when you punch us back, we’re going to smile at you. And when you knock us down, we’re […]

At Least There Is One IRS Employee Who Is Proud to Say He Works For the IRS

“The IRS remains dedicated to improving service to taxpayers, modernizing its systems and maintaining the integrity of the tax system, while also protecting the health of its workers and American taxpayers. The way the IRS has responded to the challenges we faced this year serve to highlight the significant role that the IRS plays in […]

Don’t Worry Everyone, Deloitte Says Everything Is Fine After SolarWinds Hack

From the Wall Street Journal on Dec. 21: Deloitte, infected in late June according to the Journal’s analysis, said in a statement it “has taken steps to address” the malware but hasn’t “observed indications of unauthorized access to our systems at this time.” Along with Deloitte, a WSJ analysis revealed that the suspected Russian hackers […]

TIL: There Are a Slew of Chinese Communist Party Members Who Work At the Queen’s Big 4

“This is a bizarre and scandalous state of affairs. Putting aside any espionage risk, which is clearly highly serious in itself, surely there are significant questions to be answered about client confidentially. If I was a client of these firms, would I really want my sensitive business information being discussed by people with links to […]

KPMG Auditors Working From Home During a Pandemic Was a Major Inconvenience For One CEO

From the Wall Street Journal: [Emerson Electric CEO David Farr] had just gotten off the phone with KPMG LLC, Emerson’s auditors since 1938, and he was steaming. The problem: It was June and they were still working from home. “Look. I make s—, and you can’t tell me how I’m making s— when you’re sitting […]

TIL: There Are Similarities Between Being an Auditor and Training as an Olympic Marathon Runner

“You’re methodical, you think about numbers and percentages. The personality type … it’s a good fit. Learning to be resilient and not letting the bad experiences get you down is how to make it in the end.” — Brice Pavey, an audit associate at Anders CPAs + Advisors in downtown St. Louis, said about working […]

Deloitte Consultants Are Wannabe Nerds Who Aren’t Sexy, Says Woman

“Hot and nice nerds have always been sexy, this does not elevate Deloitte consultants who think they’re nerds because they studied poly sci at Upenn.” — Katrina Schmidt, a resident of Washington, DC, when asked her thoughts on MSNBC political analyst and election night “map guy” Steve Kornacki being named one of People’s Sexiest Men […]

KPMG U.K. Restructuring Partner Channels Angry Donald Trump During Disciplinary Hearing

“The fact that I am [sitting] here being accused of dishonesty, and have never been dishonest in my business life … is frankly outrageous. This whole case here is just a witch hunt and if [the FRC] can’t win the case, which they shouldn’t based on the facts, then it is simply a process of […]

EY Shouldn’t Be Awarded Any New U.K. Government Contracts For Three Years Because EY Is Bad, Says Some Group

“Banning [EY] for three years from UK public contracts would send an incredibly powerful message that the government will not give public contracts to companies that engage in misconduct … and do not get their house in order.” — Spotlight on Corruption, an anti-corruption campaign group based in the U.K., wrote in a recent letter […]

A Deer Crashing Through His Office Window Apparently Isn’t the Craziest Thing to Happen to Ohio Accountant

“It’s probably in the top five, nothing to do with accounting, but overall, it’s a top-five.” — Andy Majkut, owner of Majkut CPAs in Elyria, OH, said about a deer shattering a double-pane window at his office last month. If that’s not the craziest thing Majkut has seen during his career in public accounting, what […]

Sigur Rós Isn’t a Huge Fan of PwC or Paying Taxes

“We are musicians, we hired the people who we thought were the best in the world. And he failed us.” — Georg Holm, bassist for the legendary Icelandic post-rock band Sigur Rós, said about the band’s accountant Gunnar Ásgeirsson, who worked at PwC. I’ve got a few Sigur Rós albums on CDs that I burned […]

Deloitte Consulting Is Irresponsible, Lacks Integrity, and Is Unreliable, Says Accenture

“[The Florida Agency for Health Care Administration] ignored information that, by its nature, would be expected to have a strong bearing on whether the intended awardee is ‘responsible,’ that is, whether it has the capability in all respects to fully perform the contract requirements and the integrity and reliability that will assure good faith performance.” […]

Pandemic Pay Cuts Didn’t Sit Well with One Deloitte Employee In Australia

Yesterday Adrienne wrote an excellent post about winners and losers in accounting during the coronavirus pandemic. I’ve got one to add to the losers side: Deloitte Australia employees. Why? Not only have most Australian Green Dotters taken a 20% cut in pay since May (which CEO Richard Deutsch said was “the least worst option” to […]

Deloitte Australia Has This Corporate Bullying Thing Down Pat

“It’s using COVID as a lever to change their working conditions. They have no choice — if they say no to the pay cut, they may lose their job, if they say yes, they might lose their job anyway. “Most would have accepted a pay cut because they thought it would save jobs. “In their […]

Person From Switzerland Has the PwC Playbook Down Pat

[Translated from German to English] “When the times are good, [PwC] hires young talent en masse, let them work through day and night, and when it comes down to it, put the team out on the street.” — an unnamed PwC Switzerland employee, when asked what they think about the firm’s cost-cutting measures due to […]

What Tim Ryan Learned About PwC During the Pandemic Also Applies to Roofers

“I think what we’ve learned is that it’s always better to control your destiny when you can. And I want to be clear, we made a zillion mistakes. I don’t want to come across as we batted a thousand, because we didn’t. But I think what we’ve learned is that it’s always better to control […]

Please Don’t Call Deloitte If Your House Is On Fire

“Hiring Deloitte [to manage PPE procurement] was a funny thing to do. If there is a fire, you don’t call the auditor, you call the fire service.” — said an anonymous clothing manufacturer based in northern England, who said Deloitte has ignored his company’s offers to make medical gowns for healthcare workers on the front […]

Florida Governor Is Not Impressed with Deloitte’s Handiwork

“It was designed with all these different things, basically to fail, I think. This thing was a clunker, there’s no doubt about it.” — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said about the state’s unemployment claims website, CONNECT, which was built by Deloitte Consulting in 2013 when Rick Scott was Florida governor. The system has pretty much […]

Deloitte Australia COO Begs Partners to Stay Billable

“Please, please, please partners. Bill now. We need another billing month like March if we are to continue [the upward cashflow trend].” — Andrew Griffiths, chief operating officer of Deloitte Australia, during a Zoom meeting with partners on April 15. The firm’s overall utilization rate dropped from about 71% in the last week of March […]

Former Deloitte CEO Disses Men and Their Spreadsheets

Does Cathy Engelbert have a point here, ladies? As the first female CEO of a major professional services firm, Cathy Engelbert learned a valuable lesson: Never trust a spreadsheet made by men. “No spreadsheet ever yielded a great result for women,” says Engelbert, who recently became commissioner of the WNBA after a 33-year career at […]

Grant Thornton Economist Says Coronavirus Is an ‘Economic Pandemic’

“We know a health pandemic is global in scope, and although this has not been called a health pandemic yet, it may get there, we are seeing a global in scope reaction to the virus. As countries move to contain the virus, those actions in and of themselves are disrupting global economic activity, and that […]

This Tax Season Is Going to Be Easier Than Last Year’s, Right? RIGHT?

“A lot of CPAs would agree that last year was the worst tax filing season in their professional career. But it would be a mistake to think the upcoming season will be easy just because everyone is now familiar with the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. There may be a slight reduction in the complexities […]

No, You Can’t Deduct a Harley as a Medical Expense

“A client injured his wrists, so the doctor told him to keep his wrists elevated. He asked me if he purchased a Harley with those high handlebars, can he deduct that as a medical expense? I told him to show me the prescription from the doctor.” — Lawrence Pon, CPA, told the Washington Post when […]

CPAs No Longer Have to Be CFOs When They Grow Up

“The Street doesn’t care about accounting functions any longer. They don’t get into the nitty-gritty anymore.” — Richard Bove, an analyst at Odeon Capital Group LLC, told the Wall Street Journal when asked why accounting expertise seems to be no longer required for the CFO role. According to data from Korn Ferry, only 36% of […]

Donald Trump Is Apparently the New Head of Recruiting at EY

Sorry, Dan Black. Looks like you’re out of a job. “When I talked to him, we talked about, frankly, talent and how do we retain more talent in the U.S., in particular talent that goes to top schools and so forth. He was very much in favor of retaining that talent in the U.S. so […]

FASB’s CECL Standard Is a Disaster Waiting to Happen

“A simple accounting standard is going to decimate the people in my district’s ability to have home mortgages. This has got to stop. This can’t continue. You should stop and look at the damage you’re going to be doing to the citizens of this country. And in essence after that happens, it’s going to devastate […]

KPMG Is the Cockroach of the Big 4

“KPMG is obviously such a vast business that it could probably survive nuclear war.” — Daniel Sutherland, a partner at the U.K. business law firm Fox Williams, when asked if a large decline in profits and recent layoffs at KPMG U.K. will eventually lead to an existential crisis.

Tim Ryan Isn’t Worried About Poaching at PwC Because of Heart or Something

“We spend about half a billion dollars a year on upskilling our employees. A big part of our [leadership team] debate three years ago [was] well, if we make our employees more relevant then they’ll get stolen. What we’ve seen is the contrary. We’re investing in our employees—we’re leading with our heart, we’re leading with […]

Arthur Andersen & Co.

There’s a Good Reason Why Andersen Global Firms Don’t Do Audit Work, Chairman Says

“[T]he Andersen name may have some negative connotations in audit.” — Mark Vorsatz, Andersen Global chairman and Andersen Tax CEO, who is a former Arthur Andersen partner, on why Andersen Global firms only provide legal and tax services. [Bloomberg Tax]

Notorious Liar Most Likely Telling Another Lie About His Finances

“Frankly, the people don’t care. My finances are very clean.” — President Trump, when asked if he would release his tax returns, which he claims are still under audit by the IRS. [Roll Call]

Deloitte CEO Cathy Engelbert Is Still Talking About Her Teenage Son’s Fear of Robots

Our QOTD comes from Deloitte CEO Cathy Engelbert, who shared the stage with AT&T Business CEO Thaddeus Arroyo and CNN host Anderson Cooper a couple of weeks ago during the AT&T Business Summit in Dallas to discuss how to be an effective leader in a digital world. Cooper, who moderated the discussion, mentioned that people […]

CPA Reminds Tax Clients ‘We’re Not Fortune Tellers and Wizards’

It seems that the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act is making New York CPAs’ jobs more hellish than they already are. From Crain’s New York Business: For New York’s largest accounting firms, the biggest tax overhaul in decades has put significantly more work on their staffers’ plates. But it’s not just New York CPAs who […]

Enron Whistleblower: WikiLeaks > SEC

“I don’t think the SEC’s culture is one that will make this effective one iota,” said Sherron Watkins, a one-time vice president at Enron, referring to expanded protections for whistleblowers included in the Dodd-Frank financial reform law. If she was in the same situation today as 10 years ago, when Watkins approached government authorities about accounting fraud at Enron, she would probably instead take her information to an organization like WikiLeaks, Watkins said. [Paper Trail]

Did We Also Mention Our Flexible Work Schedule Arrangements?

“We stand by the audit opinions issued by Ernst & Young relating to the financial statements of Lehman Brothers.”

~ Sarah Jurado, a spokeswoman for Ernst & Young in the UK, who sounds like she’s got the talking points down, quoted in Bloomberg.

Does Anyone Think Chris Van Hollen Actually Knows What ‘Enron-type accounting’ Is?

Anyone?

If you want to call attention to bullshit political games, we humbly suggest, “bullshit political games.” Not this:

“This is a huge loophole for Enron-type accounting … In the rule they pass tomorrow they are going to reiterate that the chair of the budget committee has the authority to come up with his own estimate of the budget impact of various pieces of legislation.”

So aggressive revenue recognition, abusing mark-to-market accounting and SPEs = marginalizing the Congressional Budget Office. Got it?

Dems Accuse GOP Of ‘Enron-Type Accounting’ And Assaults On CBO [HuffPo]

But What if the Auditors Were Fools?

“Could Ernst & Young have done a better job? Maybe, but claiming they could have done a better job doesn’t necessarily make them liable. Even the best of auditors can be fooled.”

~ Anthony Sabino, professor of law and business at St. John’s University

Some People Need to Get Some Perspective on This Tax Cut Compromise

“The fact that the Republicans got a reduction in the death tax from 55 percent to 35 percent I think made the deal even better. […] I’m a little surprised that some Republicans are scoffing at it.”

~ Steve Forbes can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.

Google CFO: We Win, Facebook Wins, Everybody Wins!

Chief Financial Officer Patrick Pichette on Thursday downplayed the competitive threat from social-networking giant Facebook Inc., arguing that the digital economy will create a “ton of winners.” “Everybody will benefit if the Web is more social,” he said. “It’s not a zero sum game.” [Dow Jones]

IFRS: Four. More. Years.

Comments reflected “a lot of unanimity around, if we go in this direction, allowing sufficient time for companies to adjust,” said Schapiro in a question-and-answer session following her keynote address to the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants’ national conference on accounting and auditing issues for public companies. “It’s likely to be a minimum of four years,” but that’s still a point for the SEC to decide, she said, assuming it decides to incorporate IFRS into U.S. capital markets. [Compliance Week]

Wanted: Big 4 Bean Spillers

“Zero Hedge kindly requests any and all Big 4 (and all other) accounting firm whistleblowers to please stand up and let us know of any and every case of improper accounting they are aware of (preferably with supporting documentation).”

~ Tyler Durden

At Least Someone Is Optimistic About the Tax Cut Stalemate

“I think we got off to a good start yesterday. There are going to be ups and downs in this process but I’m confident that we’re going to be able to get it done.”

~ President Obama is making us nauseous.

Memo to the Wealthy: Death Is Looking Like a Good Option

“I have no confidence that this Congress will address the estate tax.”

~ Joe Kristan has a morbid outlook.

Your Concern About a Big 4 Failure Is Duly Noted

“I don’t see that is on the horizon at all.”

~ Deloitte Global Chairman John Connolly, responding to UK lawmakers about the risk of a Big 4 failure.

Fiscal Chickenhawks

“I’m not sure who invented the term ‘deficit hawk,’ but it seems an odd name for a creature too chicken to raise taxes.”

~ Nancy Folbre, economics professor the University of Massachusetts Amherst.

Tax Cuts Can Wait

“Congress has gone since 2002 without dealing with the December 31, 2010 expiration of the Bush-era tax cuts. What’s another week or two?”

~ Joe Kristan hasn’t considered the risk of tryptophan hangovers.

GAO: SEC Basically Needs to Replace Their Entire Accounting System

“These material weaknesses are likely to continue to exist until the SEC’s accounting system is either significantly enhanced or replaced, key accounting activity in other systems is fully integrated with the accounting system at the transaction level, information security controls are significantly strengthened, and appropriate resources are dedicated to maintaining effective internal controls.”

~ From a report issued by the Government Accountability Office

Spreading the Sacrifice Around

“Everybody must sacrifice so this quiet killer won’t eat us alive before we have a chance to fix what was our doing.”

~ Former Senate Budget Chairman Pete Domenici who, along with Alice Rivlin, rolled out their fiscal deficit solution today that includes a 6.5% national sales tax.

We’ll Drag Them Kicking and Screaming if We Have To

“Then what we’ve done is lay a predicate for this next Congress to deal with where we have $3 of spending cuts for every dollar of revenue increase.”

~ Erskine Bowles

Nancy Pelosi Will Have You Know That She Wasn’t Responsible for the New 1099 Requirement Sneaking into Healthcare Reform

“One item that I think we all agree on that was in the Senate bill, not in the House bill, but became part of the law was 1099, which affects small businesses and small contractors and how they report their transactions. They know what it means, and they know they’d like to see it go. I think that’s probably the first place we could go together.”

~ The soon-to-be former Speaker of the House is willing to talk about this one.

Dick Durbin Isn’t Buying This Fiscal Commission Report

“I told them that there are things in there that inspire me, and there are things in there that I hate like the devil hates holy water. I’m not going to vote for this thing.”

~ The Illinois Senator doesn’t like the sales pitch from Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson.

Congress: Come Hell, High Water or Spiteful Democrats, We’ll Patch the AMT in the Lame Duck Session

“We plan to do everything possible to enact AMT relief legislation in a form mutually agreeable to the Congress and the president. We urge the Internal Revenue Service to take all steps necessary to plan for changes that would be made by the legislation.”

~ One of those “letters” that legislators write to bureaucrats as a form of grandstanding. This particular letter was from Max Baucus, Chuck Grassley, Sandy Levin and Dave Camp to Doug Shulman

New Jersey Should Send a ‘Thank You’ Note to California and New York

“In the recently-released 2011 State Business Tax Climate Index, New Jersey finally moved out of its last-place ranking on that list, in part due to Christie’s veto of the millionaires’ tax he mentioned during his interview. While it still ranks a pretty dismal 48 out of 50, it proves that improvement is possible, even in a state with a tax policy legacy as historically abysmal as New Jersey’s.” [Tax Foundation]

Keeping the SEC Out of Our Hair Is Always on the Table

This all started when a shareholder asked Michael about this, and he said that we’re looking into it. Well, of course we’re looking into it.

~ Brian Gladden, CFO of Dell, comes off a little sassy discussing the possibility of the company going private.

Washingtonians Mind Their Own Wallets

“Antitax voters clearly won a victory on Tuesday. But it would be a stretch to say that they don’t want higher taxes on the wealthy. More likely, they just didn’t want higher taxes on the nonwealthy.”

~ Robert Frank, on Washington’s rejection of Initiative 1098.

Wanted: Big Brothers, Big Sisters for Accountants

One of the main reasons [for dissatisfaction] is a lack of role models. Half of female respondents said there aren’t enough women at the top to look up to in top management, while only a third of men complained that there aren’t enough males. On the topic of mentors, however, both sexes feel there aren’t enough of them. More than two thirds of both genders said they haven’t had or currently do not have a mentor to support their career. [FINS]

Handicapping Ernst & Young

Ernst & Young, take my word for it, will never be indicted by the U.S. government, as a firm, for its role in any Lehman fraud that’s eventually proven. It’s also highly unlikely – 1000 to 1 odds I’d say – EY will be fined by the SEC or the PCAOB, as a firm, in a civil or disciplinary case.

~ Francine McKenna says it’s a longshot.

Vladimir Putin Is a Proud Member of the IFRS Fan Club

“Russian companies have a range of resource and processing assets abroad and that’s why we should assimilate the international standards of accounting as early as possible.”

~ The Russian Prime Minister won’t be waiting until 2011 to make up his mind.

Death to Death Tax Denial

“We’re confident that a Congress manned with our pledge signers will be prepared to take the necessary steps to pass permanent repeal of this un-American, outdated policy and stand up for small family businesses, the real job creators in our country.”

~ Dick Patten, President of The American Family Business Institute, says the estate tax is toast now that Senate candidates like Sharron Angle, Ken Buck and Rand Paul are on board with the AFBI’s “Death Tax Repeal Pledge.”

The Big 4 Greeters Aren’t Necessary, Thank You

“We don’t want the Wal-Mart audit.”

~ The aforementioned Lynn Turner, cringes at the thought of low prices.

A Non-Discriminatory Faith Tax

“Whether you believe in L. Ron Hubbard, Jesus, a tree, Mother Earth or Allah, it is time for the tax man to cometh.”

~ William K. Wolfrum wants everyone to chip in.

Tree Huggers Are Indirectly Responsible for Undetected Fraud

“How about going online and printing [the statement or report] every month as if it were mailed to you — and actually looking at it?”

~ Stephen Pedneault, a veteran forensic accountant, isn’t crazy about all the benefits of technology.

What Happens When Congress Says, “We’ve Got Time. We’ll Get to It”

“Ever since the tax cuts were enacted in 2001 and 2003, policy makers have known the law would expire at the end of 2010. That ‘drop dead’ date offered an auspicious way to galvanize a systematic effort to reform a tax system that is badly in need of repair. Instead, policy makers pretty much ignored the issue until just before the 2010 Congressional recess, when politically tinged efforts to extend some or all of the tax cuts finally began — a ‘debate’ that was too little, too narrow, and too late.”

~ William G. Gale, Miller Chair at the Brookings Institution and co-director of the Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center

Betting on Estate Tax Inaction

“It’s not a sure thing that they’ll actually get around to doing anything about it.”

~ Craig Jennings, federal fiscal policy analyst at OMB Watch, doesn’t have much faith that Congress.

Iowa Pastor Practically Begging the IRS to Sue Him, Consume His Life for Years to Come

“I’m tired of pastors submitting to this tyranny — and I’m expecting to try to get the IRS to sue us so that we can take it all the way to the Supreme Court and restore freedom in America’s pulpits.”

~ Pastor Cary Gordon, of Cornerstone World Outreach in Sioux City, Iowa, has some strange ambitions.

Does That Make PwC Crestor?

“It looks like Gap is schilling for Lipitor.”

~ Dhani Mau, over at our sassy (former) sister site Fashionista, avoids the ED drugs.

Off-Balance Sheet Accounting 2.0

“They will help investors to better understand off-balance sheet risks, and to alert them to the possibility of so-called window dressing transactions occurring at the end of a reporting period.”

~ Sir David Tweedie talking up the new rules that were published by the IASB today.

So ‘Global 6 Accounting Organization’ Is Out of the Question?

“The largest companies are generally served by one of the Big Four firms and I think that’s going to continue to be true and one of the reasons are the needs of that market place, due to the scale of those enterprises.”

~ Deloitte Global CEO Jim Quigley (who must have been making the rounds today) doesn’t see a return to the Big 5.

Old Rich Guy Makes It Clear Where He Stands on Taxes

“The question is, Do we get more money from the person that’s gonna serve me lunch today, or do we get it from me? I think we should get it from me.”

Citi Failed to Impress Mike Mayo

“Citi still seems to have aggressiveness with financial targets (well above historical), accounting (tax credits) and corporate governance. Also, the strategy does not always seem in sync with execution and/or financial reporting.”

~ It isn’t known what the Credit Agricole Securities analyst thinks of the auditors.

Exquisite Insults: PCAOB Edition

“The Accounting Board Is a Sinecure Qua Non”

~ Headline over at Bloomberg BusinessWeek

You Won’t Hear This on the Campaign Trail

“The tax cuts need to be canceled. If not now, due to the weakness in the economy, then three years from now.”

~ Ezra Klein is not seeking reelection.

John Boehner: What Have You Done for American Families and Small Business Lately, Mr. President?

“If the President really wants to help small businesses, he should insist that Congress not leave town without cutting spending and stopping his tax hike to help create jobs – particularly small business jobs. By failing to act, the President is turning his back on American families and small businesses.”

~ The House Minority Leader, in a statement, nanoseconds after The President signed The Small Business Jobs and Credit Act of 2010 into law.

Nancy Pelosi Guarantees a Tax Cut

“America’s middle class will have a tax cut. It will be done in this Congress. There is no question about that.”

~ The Speaker of the House says that a vote may even happen before the election despite the old boys’ (and a few ladies) club has all but thrown in the towel.

Can a Potty-Mouth Get You a Promotion?

“Swearing does provide a sort of release that other language doesn’t provide.”

~ Dr. Daniel Zimmerman, a co-author of a study that says cursing can “clear the head,” and “conveys the sort of aggression that is rewarded with honors and promotions in high-stress workplaces.”

Paul Krugman Doesn’t Like Being Included in GOP Tax Cut Talking Points

“The point is that I’m not a real small businessman, but I play one in anti-tax propaganda.”

~ The Professor was a little too sarcastic the first go round.

The Big 4 Abbott & Costello Routine

“Do you want 7 to go into 28 a total of 13 times? Sure. Just hire a Big Four auditor, and he’s got a rubber stamp with your name on it.”

~ Gary Weiss thinks auditors are a joke.

For Some, There Is An Upside to Dodd-Frank

“Like Sarbox, it is destined to fail—except for all the lawyers and accountants and new bureaucrats it will enrich.”

~ Neil Weinberg found the silver lining.

In Politics, Spite Will Forever Trump Progress

“It’s amazing to me how difficult it is to work together around here, even when we want to.”

~ Orrin Hatch (R-UT), referring to how the U.S. Senate managed to drag out the passing of the small-business bill.

A Big 4 Identity Crisis?

“The Big 4 don’t even like being called AUDITORS. Rather they provide ‘ASSURANCE Services,’ and act as ‘TRUSTED ADVISORS.’ This isn’t just rhetorical. It’s a cynical PR move and an effort to limit their liability.”

~ Francine McKenna, who will be on a panel with Lehman Brothers Bankruptcy Examiner Anton Valukas, NYT Chief Financial Correspondent Floyd Norris and others, discussing the financial crisis.

How Do You Make Up for Ignoring Massive Corruption?

“Whatever good things international accountancy firms are doing in Russia – and I’m sure there are a few – blowing the whistle on massive corruption isn’t really one of them.”

~ Tim Wall, in the Moscow News. [via Re:The Auditors]

Nikki Haley’s Accounting Skills Are Being Called into Question

“Every time she touches a balance sheet, she leaves behind a tral [sic] of tax liens and penalties. If Rep. Haley really is an accountant, she is as incompetent as her mentor is at job recruitment.”

~ Trav Robertson, spokesman for South Carolina Gubernatorial candidate Vincent Sheheen, is talking out of his ass a little but the jab at Mark Sanford is duly noted.

Tax Policy Rhetoric Déjà Vu

“Watching this speech, I’ve determined that Obama will win the 2008 election.”

~ Philip Klein has heard this before, although John Boehner subs for George W. Bush.

Paul Hogan Is Pleased to be Back on U.S. Soil

“I have come to this great tax haven, the USA, where the IRS are gentlemen compared to our lot.”

~ Mick Dundee isn’t making a helluva lot sense but it’s fine, he’s still more or less a celebrity.

How Is the Homebuyer Tax Credit Like Jason Voorhees?

“Like the killers in those really bad slasher movies, this tax subsidy wreaks havoc wherever it goes, appears to meet its demise in the last reel, yet returns to create more misery.”

~ Howard Gleckman

In Other Words, Nicolas Cage’s Accountant Is Probably Counting Some Money

“Nic is happy that it is resolved.”

~ A TMZ “source,” on the settlement reached between NC and his former accountant, who were both blaming each other for Cage’s financial trubs.

Famous Last Words

“The lawsuit is a bunch of BS. They’re throwing everything at me. I’m not afraid of the IRS.”

~ William Alexander, on allegations brought against him by the IRS.

Good Thing They Had Auditors

“Lehman’s books were in such a mess that I don’t think they knew where they were.”

~ Elizabeth James, a director of Barclays’s futures business, testifying in bankruptcy court.

Bernanke: This Ride Isn’t Over

“[W]e have come a long way, but there is still some way to travel.”

~ The Fed Chairman wants you to chew on that while he kicks it in Jackson Hole.

As to Whether Allen Stanford Knew His CDs Were Worthless

“I think it’s obviously obvious.”

~ Forensic accountant Mark Berenblut, responding in the affirmative that R. Allen Stanford knew he was “misrepresent[ing] the liquidity and soundness of the CDs.”

Dov Charney’s Business Sense Doesn’t Include Reliable Financial Statements

“He flies in the face of business sense, fashion manufacturing and retailing sense.”

~ Bryan Roberts, research director for retail analysts Planet Retail, couldn’t get through to Deloitte in time with this message.

Why Would Someone Want to Buy a Sports Franchise?

“Because of the way the value of sports franchises generally appreciates each year in the marketplace, each owner is in it for the holy grail, and that is to sell the team eventually when they realize very nice capital gains.”

~ Brian Beerman of Beerman, Piper & Associates LLP insists that championships are NBD.

New Jersey Nets Fans May Have Gotten Ripped Off

“She promises to significantly reduce their IRS tax debts, but instead preys on their vulnerability, taking large up-front payments but providing little or no help in lowering their tax bills.”

~ California Attorney General Jerry Brown isn’t impressed with Roni Deutch’s advertising. And the Nets likely have one less way to try and draw crowds.

Maybe If We Put Internal Controls Last, No One Will Notice

“That is quite a risk to put at the end of the list.”

~ Peter Henning isn’t so sure that General Motors is taking the whole “disclosure controls and procedures and our internal control over financial reporting are currently not effective” serious enough.

This Could Easily Be a Member of Congress

“We are grateful to the courageous taxpayer who came forward to notify the United States attorney’s office of a corrupt public servant.”

~ U.S. Attorney Todd Jones is really just referring to that IRS agent who needed $9,700.