Going Concern

Big 4

Now That the #1 Spot Is Secure, Deloitte Is Making Some Changes

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

We’re not sure when Deloitte dropped the hammer on Pandora but the timing of us hearing about it is dubious since the coveted #1 spot on BW’s list is safely in print.
Much like E&Y, we’re curious as to the motivation here. Bandwidth sucking notwithstanding, your morale doesn’t seem to be much of a concern here. Green dots, kindly discuss in comments your theories behind the latest buzz kill. The rest of you (minus E&Y, natch) can share what you’re listening to currently as pure schadenfreude.

Preliminary Analytics

Preliminary Analytics | 09.11.09

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

sexy accountant.jpg • Accountants Misled Us Into Crisis – Yes. You. [Floyd Norris/NYT]
• Prosecutors Are Poised to Impanel AIG Grand Jury – “In the AIG matter, the swaps at issue led to billions of dollars in write-downs for the insurer after PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP, its auditor, said the process AIG used to value them was flawed. Pricewaterhouse could be called to testify about, among other things, the way in which it came to determine there was a material weakness in the internal controls used by Mr. Cassano’s group to value the swaps, the people familiar with the matter said.” [WSJ]
• Bloomberg Among Potential Bidders for McGraw-Hill’s BusinessWeek – Whether the Big 4 remains on the Launch list remains to be seen. [WSJ]
• New Charges in Stanford Case – “Mr. Perraud arranged for a shredding company to come to the office and supervised the shredding of a 95-gallon bin full of documents, the indictment said.” This guy thought he knew how to destroy documentation. Fool. Leave that to us. [Reuters via NYT]

Review Comments

Review Comments | 09.10.09

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

140px-United_States_Securities_and_Exchange_Commission.png • SEC contrite over failure to uncover Madoff – The victims, we understand you want to let them know. The rest of us? WE GET IT. [Reuters]
• AICPA Proposes Clarification on Sharing Client Information – In a word: Don’t. [Compliance Week]
• Geithner: Banks To Repay $50 Billion In Rescue Funds – Is someone still tracking this? [NPR]
• Recession Takes Heavy Toll on U.S. – There’s this…[WSJ]
• Stocks Rally to New 2009 Peaks – …then there is this. [WSJ]

Uncategorized

Our Advice: Always Remember Pants

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

We’re presenting a typical dress code that one firm put up for its recruitment season. It’s not really important whose it is because you could slap any firm name on it and it would be believable.

Women
• When wearing a skirt, hosiery is a good idea.

• Shoes should be clean and not too high. Strappy sandals are not very professional.

• Spaghetti straps and strapless tops are not okay in the office or a networking event.

• Make sure skirts and tops are not too tight or too short. Your midriff should never be exposed.

• Hair should be kept neat and simple. Jewelry should be conservative and tasteful – never make noise or too distracting.

Men
• Keep any facial hair neatly trimmed.

• Pants should be clean and pressed. They should be tailored, sit at the waist and rest on the top of the shoes.

• Shirts should be clean, pressed, and collared.

• Be sure to wear socks that match–not athletic socks.

General
• Aim for a neat, clean look.

• Remove visible body piercings and cover tattoos.

• Pay attention to the fit of your clothes–make sure they aren’t too tight.

• Keep perfume/cologne to a minimum.

• Always think about what message you want to send. If you have to stop and wonder, “Can I get away with this?” it’s probably not a good idea.

Our first reaction to this list is that while women seem to have the most rules, lots of men we’ve observed need serious fashion help. Lots of men wear khakis that look like Hammer-pants. And “matching socks”? Is this the best they got for gents?

So, discuss fashion faux-pas. State your most hated abuse of fashion in the comments. Personally, pleated pants are pretty much the worst. Btw, “don’t dress like a ho” doesn’t suffice as a faux-pas you dolts.

Uncategorized

Our Token Swine Flu Post

Caleb Newquist
September 11, 2009

We’re upping our pandemic coverage today because 1) it’s god-awful slow out there and B) refer back to #1. Apparently most businesses out there don’t really have a plan in case this whole H1N1 thing gets medieval on our asses.
Continued, after the jump

AP:

The survey found that two-thirds of the more than 1,000 businesses questioned nationwide said they could not maintain normal operations if half their workers were out for two weeks. Four out of every five businesses expect severe problems if half their workers are out for a month. “What we found is that a minority of businesses have started some sort of emergency planning,” said Robert Blendon, a professor of health policy and leader of the project sponsored by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Most, I don’t think, have thought through the implications of something so widespread.”

Surely you’d think that the accounting firms would not fall into this particular category. We glanced over the BW list again (because we’ve got nothing better to do) and surprisingly, only PwC and McGladrey & Pullen have sick days listed. P. Dubs is “Unlimited” and M&P provides five days. The other firms have nothing listed.
So are we to assume that the other usual suspects don’t provide any sick days? Most of you are aware of the really obnoxious habit that some people have of coming to work when they should probably be in the hospital. They pop some Airborne or overdose on Vitamin C and they think they’re cured.
Then, of course, there are types that assume that anyone who calls in sick is faking because, well, their jobs sucks. So the “sick” play at accounting firms is always a lose-lose-lose.
So the question should be asked: What the hell happens when half your team can’t crawl out of bed? Are the firms going to start giving you GASP sick days? Are the firms going to provide everyone with biohazard suits so everyone can still come to work? Maybe just the new associates and partners (probably the most likely scenario)? Discuss.

Uncategorized

McGladrey & Pullen Needs to Quit Being Nice to Us

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

On the one hand we feel bad about missing McGladrey & Pullen being on BW’s list of Best Places to Launch a Career. They land at #66 but the picture at right wasn’t used and frankly, our attention span is short.

We’re also a little disappointed that the M&Pers out there didn’t jump our shit about missing it altogether. Perfect opportunity for you call us out for being a Big 4 whore or something to that effect. Probably due to the Minnesota Nice or maybe you’re all clinically depressed because your firms are getting divorced. WTFK.

Regardless, your opportunity is gone because this is the GC “our bad” statement for leaving you out of the previous posts.
However, when we probed M&P’s profile we discovered that the five year retention rate was 18%. And M&P sponsors Natalie Gulbis for crissakes. We shouldn’t have to explain how valuable she would be in the recruiting and retention processes. We just convinced ourselves that we don’t feel bad at all.

Get it together M&P.

Big 4

Apparently Your Farewell Emails Need Work

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

With all the bitterness out there, we’re really not sure why this particular person is getting attention.
We surmised yesterday that the Brits seem to take a more active interest in all things bean county but their articulation in farewell emails certainly can’t be superior to yours. After all, you can’t hear the accent when you read.
After the jump, a taste of the bitterness that’s getting lots of attention in the UK:

Today is my last day at PwC. I haven’t sent this to everyone because what would be the point? Why do people send their leaving emails to everyone? We didn’t care about you then and we certainly don’t care about you now.
I still presume hardly any of you knew me, which is good because I’m rubbish at audit, so I wouldn’t have helped your stellar careers.
I’ve also learned how not to decorate an office – green and orange block colour walls with business buzz phrases on. ‘Find your space’, ‘always add value’ etc. Where do these terrible phrases come from? Is there a team of people lurking about in Embankment Place whose only duty is to pump out corporate drivel?
I look forward immensely to never having to attend an event in which Our Beloved Leaders stand up and tell us we’ve massively exceeded budget, so in reward we get no bonuses and instead we get the treat of listening to Coldplay while quotes from the greatest leaders of our times are played across a screen.
I’m also on Facebook but I hate it. I’m sure you’ve got real friends of your own and I’d prefer if you left me alone quite frankly.
If we ever talked (doubtful, I avoided anyone that looked like they might give me some work), add away.
I’ve left some treats in the group area.
Not really.
Bye forever xxx.

PwC accountant’s email is global hit [Telegraph]

Uncategorized

Hopefully the IASB Gets the Point

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

After learning yesterday about the Accountancy Age Awards we thought that the celebration of accounting couldn’t get any better. And by “better”, we mean incredibly lame.
Satire being a common theme here, we definitely appreciate Christian Aid‘s attempt to help accountants, most specifically the ~~CRAPASS~~ IASB, to reconsider their indirectly screwing of poor countries:
Continued, after the jump

The International Accounting Standards Board (IASB) has been handed a tongue-in-cheek award from Christian Aid, after winning the charity’s Greatest Potential for Tax Reform award…PriceWaterhouse Coopers (PwC), KPMG, Ernst & Young and Deloitte & Touche also collected awards…Campaigners want the Board…to instigate urgent and far-reaching reforms – including forcing companies trading internationally to report profits made and taxes paid in every country where they operate. Christian Aid estimates that countries in the developing world are deprived of $160 billion annually in lost revenues by companies disguising their tax liabilities.

This is probably the closet thing to a Razzie that exists for the accounting industry so we’re happy to support them for the sake of argument.
If you’ve got other ideas about other awards that accountants deserve and who the recipients are, submit them in the comments.
Accounting Standards given tongue-in-cheek reform award [politics.co.uk]

Big 4

Let’s Just Call It an Even 50

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

More rumors out of KPMG today as the audit practice in New York will be ramping up to 50 hour weeks approaching October. Apparently the extra 32 hours for the entire month that was originally required will not suffice.
This follows a similar request put out to the Klynveldians on the left coast. Unless you’re a football fan or trying to observe religious holidays, this doesn’t strike us as much of a problem.

Uncategorized

The IASB is Getting Serious About Convergence

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

Trying to get accounting standards to converge is hard work. It’s so difficult, in fact, that the International Accounting Standards Committee is considering changing the name of the International Accounting Standards Board to the IFRS Board.
This critical move will obviously speed up a process that has been going on, seemingly, since Luca Pacioli was in short pants. We’re definitely in favor of putting your agenda out in front but this still seems to be typical accountant passive-aggressive behavior.
Since we’re sure you have much better ideas for the what the IASB’s new name should be, submit your suggestions in the comments. The best we could come up with appears in the tag line.
IASB Could Be Renamed IFRS Board [Web CPA]

Big 4

PwC’s Recruitment of MBA’s is Good News on the Hiring Front, Sort Of (UPDATE)

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

FINS.com has a piece on the Big 4’s recruitment of MBA’s that serves as lukewarm encouragement for those of you have considered the painstaking thought of going back to school.
More, after the jump

PricewaterhouseCoopers is ramping up its hiring of M.B.A.s, with plans to recruit 75 to 100 business-school graduates in 2010. [The Firm] planned to bring on 60 to 90 graduates from master’s degree in business programs in 2009, up from 40 last year…An improving economy and the need to make sense of new regulatory guidelines in the financial sector are what’s driving the trend

As you might expect, the hiring occurs in the advisory practices of the firms while those of you with that went back to get a master’s in accounting will most likely end up in audit or tax practices.

At PWC, most M.B.A. recruits have three to seven years’ experience and fill senior associate posts in its advisory practice. The M.B.A.s that it hires are recruited to work in finance, operations and supply-change management and human-capital management.

The article is less enthusiastic about the other firms, however:

Big Four rival Ernst & Young is hiring about 20 b-school grads into its performance-improvement practice this year, dipping from a peak of 25 in 2007 when it began hiring M.B.A.s…While KPMG does not actively recruit M.B.A.s since its consulting practice spun off in 2002, it does targeted M.B.A. hiring, according to Malana Sanders, a KPMG recruiting director…Deloitte does hire M.B.A.s, though, said Diane Borhani, head of U.S. campus recruiting for Deloitte in Chicago, who declined to provide specifics

So we’re at a loss on how we feel about this. On the one hand, it’s good to see at least one firm ending the slash and burn that’s been going on for the last 12-15 months (even if this is just advisory) but are you ready to go back to eating cup o’ noodles, no keg stands, and more school debt to do it?
Since it sounds like layoffs will occur regularly at the firms and BW says that two-thirds of you leave the firms within five years anyway, going back to school may be in the cards for a lot of you.
For those of you that fall in the 3 – 7 years experience range, discuss what, if any, thoughts you’ve had on going back to school and if would you go with a Big 4 firm. Scary thought, we know.
PricewaterhouseCoopers and Rivals are Recruiting More M.B.A.s [FINS.com]

Preliminary Analytics

Preliminary Analytics | 09.10.09

Caleb Newquist
September 10, 2009

• The Oprah effect: Winfrey credited with helping boost Michigan Avenue business Tuesday – Oprah encourages us back to irresponsible behavior. Wa-hoo! [CT]
• Madoff Slept Here May Prove Selling Point for NY, Florida Homes – ‘People will be underwhelmed when they see the Palm Beach house — the location is great but the house is so dated it will probably be knocked down.’ That’s a shame. [Bloomberg]
• Brooklyn’s Madoff, Ponzi-schemer Philip Barry, getting public assistance – No surprise here since he was running a business from the stone age. [NYDN]
• Steve Jobs lights up Apple show – In other news, Apple fanboys, he’ll be dead eventually. [BBC]
• Phone transcript reveals Bernie Madoff coached potential witness on duping SEC investigators – “Bernie Madoff once coached a potential witness on how to fool SEC investigators, saying ‘you don’t have to be too brilliant’ to get away with it, it was revealed Wednesday.” So Bern was at least providing training, unlike some people we know…[NYDN]

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