A Going Concern Special Investigative Report: Why Does NASBA’s CPA Merch Suck So Bad? (UPDATE)
While clicking around NASBA’s website this afternoon on a hunt for information I need for an actual article and not the shitpost you are about to read, I came across their merch page and excitedly clicked over to “CPA merchandise” to see what they had. CPA stress balls? “I got a 75 on REG and […]
They’re Making it Rain Pens at the IIA Conference in Philly
BREAKING from a tipster apparently attending the fall conference of the Institute of Internal Auditors: 2 hours into the IIA Philly conference and I already have 5 free pens. Score! If you'd said two pens, I'd say the claim is immaterial but when you get into five… sorry, bro, but I'm going to need photographic […]
Somehow I Found the Source of All Bad KPMG Merch…
Don’t ask what I was doing when I “accidentally” came across this, I think I was trying to figure out why Greendotlife.com is down and took a wrong turn at the story about the guy who left KPMG six months before he was issued a brand spanking new corporate card from his former employer. The […]
Let’s Talk About Thrifting For Accounting Swag
Surely I am not the only one who has an extensive collection of Federal Reserve tchotchkes and various items of accounting memorabilia. In fact, I seem to recall the very first post I ever read written by Colin on his now abandoned blog being about accounting tchotchkes and that he has since recycled the topic […]
Forward One Email and Your Career at PwC Is Over
Do you see what happens?
Of course we kid (some of you have no sense of humor). We actually haven’t heard what is happening to the Irish lads as the investigation is rumored to be still on-going. But this could explain what PwC did with a large portion of their swag when the new logo rolled out.
If you happen across this guy, get him a seat at the New York Thanksgiving soirée (location still unknown), wouldja?
Ernst & Young Updates
We’ve updated the E&Y Greensboro post to include the approximate number of professionals affected plus we’ve added an additional ball of useless to the tchotchke collection. Continue to keep us updated on both.
At One Point, Ernst & Young Was Handing This Stuff Out
Today in money well spent news, we bring you items from a care package that was sent to GC from a friend:
Can anyone explain the purpose of this particular item? More pics after the jump.
This item also has no discernible use.
Anyone want to venture a guess on how much money is spent on this stuff? It’s got to be enough to foot an open bar. If you have more useless stuff that makes you question your firm’s spending habits, kindly pass them along and we’ll throw up the most useful items.
UPDATE: The most recently submitted ball of useless:
For Some Reason, Recruits Get Excited About Free Schwag
Because of our short attention span, we aren’t really on top of where you all are in the recruiting process. We know that the firms were on campus this week and that PwC is blackballing tax grads in CO but other than that, we’re clueless. Kindly fill us in.
But actually, what were most interested in is what kind of schwag they’re dumping on you, young impressionable recruits. For example, we’ve heard that E&Y is handing out mints with serious crack-like addictive qualities.
Now if this is the case, what kind of mind altering substances do you suppose are in these said mints and how the hell do we get our hands on some? If you’ve got some, hook us up. And we need some new Nalgenes too, thanks. The rest of the junk you can keep but let discuss who’s tempting you with the best tchotchkes. Send pics if you like. For crissakes, who needs a drink?
We know you’ve all been shaking with anticipation about the tchotchke results and frankly, we expected more of you. P. Dubs and Deloitte turned out squat and they’re the top two dogs, so that really dashed our hopes. Grant Thornton and BDO are zeros too. Are you all working too much? Regardless here are some results from our experiment:
Check out the schwag after the jump
Bandage container for those E&Y Dads who have kids that wear harnesses and helmets.
Radio Station magic 8-ball so the employees can get answers on whether they’ll have jobs in the next six months.
Rubik’s cubes are way more difficult than anything a 2nd year associate does.
Chairs that Radio Station partners with Napoleon-complexes sit.
We do things with so much quality we don’t bother using spellcheck.
Final Call for Tchotchkes
This is the final call for your firm’s schwag. The following submission is especially nice because someone at Ernst & Young was cool with a less than perfect item.
See this high-quality piece, after the jump
Quality in Everything We Do – Damn straight.
Tchotchkes Submission Update and Reminder
In case some of you missed our request last week, or in the event that some of you chose to ignore the request, we are asking for your tchotchke submissions. So keep sending us your pics! You know you have pride in the frivolous junk with your firm’s name on it.
The gimmickyness of this exercise is obvious but if we are forced to discuss the trend of pessimism among CFO’s, a couple things may happen: A) Someone may fall asleep while reading and 2) the vitriol may reach critical mass. Either way, here’s a taste of the submissions we received so far:
That’s a KPMG magic 8 ball for those of you scoring at home.
Question: KPMG 8 ball, will Going Concern readers ridicule this post?
Answer: It is certain
Have You Any Tchotchkes?
In the spirit of Lehman Brothers’ desperation, we’re looking to find out which firm out there has the best chance of financing its next big settlement by virtue of hocking its tchotchkes on eBay.
Because no one can say with absolute certainty which big firm will be the next be rendered extinct (although there are some wagers on it) and thus, none of you working for any firm can be sure when all that schwag you’re accumulating in your cube farm will be worth anything, we thought we would get your submissions so that we can determine which firm has as shot at using auctions in cyberspace as opposed to closing up shop. At first glance, E&Y has nothing on eBay but books, so we’re guessing you guys have the most to prove here.
Check out another schwagtastic example after the jump
Some of you have probably checked out for the day already anyway, so you might as well start putting that camera phone to use and email your submissions to [email protected]. Big firms, small firms, we don’t care, we know there are some real finds out there. Just like this beauty:
The best submissions will be posted here and the respective firm’s ability to spend money on frivolous junk will be duly ridiculed.
Lehman Working to Pay Off Debt, One Tchotchke at a Time
In a couple months it will be at the one year anniversary of the collapse Lehman Brothers. In order to catch you up on the firm’s progess in paying off the $250 billion in debt owed to creditors, we proudly present The Lehman Store, courtesy of eBay.
So far the Lehman Store has 100% positive feedback with comments such as: “Great Lehman tie and excellent delivery time.” and “A+ SELLER”.
Lehman couldn’t be more pleased, “‘We are really excited to be able to offer this to the public because there is a demand,’ said Lehman spokeswoman Kimberly Macleod in a telephone interview.”
“There is a demand“, people. And since there are currently 66 items on the auction block, you’d better get on this, PRONTO.
Lehman Holds EBay Garage Sale, Hawking Trinkets to Pay Off Debt [Bloomberg]