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Job of the Day: Lynn Tilton Needs an Assistant Controller

Caleb Newquist
January 15, 2010

Doesn’t ring a bell? Ms. Tilton is the founder of Patriarch Partners is a leading private equity firm with over $6 Billion AUM. The company specializes in distressed buy-outs with a long-term investment approach.
Patriarch is looking for an assistant controller in New York. Get the details after the jump.

Company: Patriarch Partners, LLC
Title: Assistant Controller
Location: New York City
Minimum experience: 5 years
Responsibilities: Preparation and analysis of multiple funds’ financial statements and distribution schedules, including working closely with internal Structured Finance and Loan Administration teams as well as external Trustees; Review and understand fund indentures and Limited Partnership Agreements, navigate interpretations of legalese, and maintain external fund compliance deliverables; Managing invoicing process to portfolio companies; Departmental budgeting for corporate entity; Treasury, cash management & plain vanilla, non-exotic investment strategies at the corporate level for excess liquidity
Requirements and Skills: 5 years minimum in accounting/finance function; Accounting degree or CPA required. MBA a further plus, and preferred; Private Equity, Hedge Fund or other Alternative Asset Mgmt accounting experience (we need someone who understands from an accounting standpoint capital & fund structures, financial services, etc.); Accounting for multiple corporate entities and subsidiaries (w/ intercompany accounting concerns).
See the entire description over at the GC Career Center and visit the main page for all your job search needs.

Is the Fury at Deloitte Consulting Over H-1B Workers Overblown?

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

Back in November, we introduced you to Punit Renjen, the new Chairman and CEO of […]

Uncategorized

Mr. Comptroller, John Liu, Demands That You Recognize the Seriousness of His Office

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

Everyone runs into a quirky boss at some point in their careers. Whether you’re answering to a higher power like Team Jehovah (just do as I say, or it’s eternal damnation) or just the new partner at your firm that keeps all the keys to the john in his office, people have to make adjustments to keep things on an even keel.
Well here’s a new one: The Post has reported that New York City’s new comptroller, John Liu, has ordered his staff to rise and address him as “Mr. Comptroller” whenever he enters the room.
In addition to the new formalities, The Post also reported that Mr. Comptroller is eliminating casual Fridays and is requiring everyone to arrive for work by 8 am. This is not a country club, people!
What’s the reason for all this, you ask? It’s quite simple actually. Mr. Comptroller is obviously aware the less than prestigious image that accountants (even elected ones) have and he wanted to nip this notion in the bud:

Liu’s new protocols were the brainchild of First Deputy Comptroller Eric Eve, an ex-Citigroup banker and adviser to former state Comptroller H. Carl McCall, according to Lee.
“It is important to note John is the same John, and he hasn’t changed,” Lee said. “At the same time, we want to address the office with the seriousness it demands.”

See, it was the ex-banker’s idea? Mr. Comptroller is the same guy, just wants to point out that the Office of the Comptroller is to be taken seriously. Make no mistake, it’s a real elected position. Mr. Comptroller is also ex-PwC so that could have something to do with it. Or not, you can sort that out for yourselves.

Uncategorized

Accenture Loves Animals, Just Not Tigers

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

After taking a stab at making the Tiger image still work and then realizing that the Andersen treatment was the only way to go, Accenture has rolled out their new advertising campaign.
Rather than take your suggestion that an ultimate fighter — with an accounting degree no less — would be the best route, Accenture has decided that sticking with the animal mantra was the best way to go.

The Journal spent 1,100 words telling us about the new Earth shattering idea:

After nearly a month of focus-group testing and production work, Accenture is rolling out the new global marketing campaign this week. The creatures, which include an elephant, a chameleon and some frogs and fish, will star in a series of TV, print and online spots.
…
One of the posters shows an elephant balancing precariously on a surfboard. The text reads, “Who says you can’t be big and nimble?” Another ad shows a frog leaping over three others, with the tagline, “Play quantum leapfrog.”

So the marketing team is sitting around, drinking bottled water, drumming on the conference table and suddenly, someone blurts out “You know, Tiger is man but it’s also an animal.”

Everyone stares at this fool that just said the stupidest thing they’d ever heard, “And?” one team member snaps back.
“Well, since everyone is used to Tiger, which is also an animal, we’ll just replace the man with animals that aren’t tigers. That way, people will still think ‘animals = Accenture is good’ but not ‘the guy named after an animal is a cheating bastard.’ Get it?”

The light bulb finally clicks on for everyone else. “You’re right. We’ll just put animals that aren’t tigers in the ads. No one cares if animals cheat on their spouses. Brilliant!”

Prior to this revelation, Accenture apparently considered jugglers and jump ropers. We understand this was five alarm blaze for the company but elephants on surfboards and leap frog was the solution? Maybe they’re just had the whole animal thing on the brain and couldn’t shake it.

But hey, what do we know? We’re sure it’ll be a huge success. Can’t wait for the Super Bowl commercials. Get those frogs to drink beer and then you’ll have a winner for sure.
After Ditching Tiger, Accenture Tries New Game [WSJ]

Rumor Mill: New Ernst & Young Office Requires Sterile Cubes, Secure Lavatories

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

As you’re all aware, your working environment is crucial to your productivity (or lack thereof). The slightest change can throw off your mojo for days or weeks at time. Maybe indefinitely.

So when we heard that the E&Y Long Island office had moved from Melville to Jericho we were concerned for the professionals in that office.

Brand new office in EY spirit, bright white, yellow partner and senior manager offices, orange walls in the enormous staff through manager room. We have super tiny cubes with really short walls where you just sit up an inch and you can see the person across from you. No space heaters or mini fridges allowed and you aren’t allowed to put up anything on you [sic] “cube” / “workstation” walls. They have to remain white. Oh and the bathroom requires a key in which you must walk from the far back of the office (where are seats are) to the front desk to get the key. There are 5 keys for men and 5 for women but the mens keys have dwindled down to 2 so you have to wait for someone to come back from the bathroom to go.

The team colors are a nice touch but the cube dwellers aren’t allowed to decorate? No pictures of spouses, kids, friends, dogs, cats, co-worker crush, favorite metal band allowed? What about the certificate you got from the latest in-house CPE? Can that go up? It sounds as though TPTB are insisting on the most sterile environment possible. No distractions. What about looking that person across from you dead in the eye while they’re eating with their mouth open? How’s that for a distraction?

Speaking of sterile environments, what’s with the bathroom keys? Are homeless people sneaking in and stanking up the joint? And they’re down to two keys for the men? Where did the other three keys go? What sadist is hoarding keys at the expense of other people’s excretory and digestive systems? Any ideas people? Maybe the keys just got flushed. Let’s get to the bottom of this mystery. Discuss.

Preliminary Analytics

Preliminary Analytics | 01.14.10

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

• Rep. Rangel “Unsure” if Congress Will Retroactively Reinstate Estate Tax – It seems that dying early in 2010 may still pay off. [TaxProf Blog]
• E&Y best gay employer in accountancy – According to Stonewall, the gay advocacy group in the UK. [Accountancy Age]
• Questions From A Future Blogger – Prof Albrecht answers them. [The Summa]
• You Lose If You Don’t Snooze; Lost Sleep Can’t Be Recovered – You can’t argue with science people, get your billable hours and go home. Or, if you must, bring a sleeping bag to work. [Bloomberg]
• Obama’s Bank Tax Seeks $90 Billion to Repay Bailout – “The tax on banks, insurance companies and brokerages with more than $50 billion in assets would start after June 30 and seek to collect $90 billion over 10 years”. [NYT]

Review Comments

Review Comments | 01.13.10

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

• Shooting the Naked Messengers – The Observer tells us that Michael Miliken and DB BFF Steve Cohen are Patrick Byrne’s Sith Lords. Who knew? [NYO via Garry Weiss]
• In Case You Missed It…Virtually Out And About – Francine really likes Twitter. Us too. [Re: The Auditors]
• Questions and Answers with Robert Khuzami – Speaking of FM, she and a few others got some time with Bob today. [Compliance Building/Doug Cornelius]
• Banks Admit Missteps Amid Grilling – Some might say “missteps” others might say “big f*#(^ing mistakes”. [WSJ]
• Interview Tips: Six Questions Accounting Job Seekers Should Ask – Not on the list: “Do you require a drug test?” [FINS]
• Willie Aames Becomes a Financial Planner – Apparently he was on “Eight is Enough”, “Charles in Charge,” and the movies “Paradise” and “Zapped,”. Oh, and he declared bankruptcy twice. [Web CPA]

Uncategorized

More Details on the Year That Was at Crowe Horwath

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

Last month we had a couple of posts on the year that was in Crowe Horwath layoffs. After learning about three rounds of layoffs and a CH exodus, we figured we had exhausted the details on 2009 for Crowe.
Not so! The latest on CH is that, like everyone else, the firm is gearing up for busy season desperately shortstaffed despite the end of their “Alternative Staffing Program”.
We’ve also learned that there were pay freezes across the board at CH last year. This included a couple of instances where newly promoted managers had their pay frozen despite being told “substantial changes in duties would be exempt from pay freeze.”
Right now our sources aren’t sure what to expect from CH in 2010 as communication from their leadership has been minimal. So all in all, it doesn’t sound like Crowe is all that different from the Big 4 despite claiming to be “a unique alternative” to them. Good luck to all the professionals at the firm in 2010 and keep us updated with all the happenings during your busy season.

Ernst & Young Extends Busy Season Two Weeks

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

While Deloitte rings in the new year with generosity, E&Y has apparently taken a different approach.
One of our sources in the Ernstiverse has told us that busy season is being extended by two weeks this year. The first “official” week is this week (moved up one week from its usual spot) and there will be an additional week on the back end (first week in April as we understand it). This means mandatory 55 hours weeks are in full effect, so find some work people.
Oh! And it’s also our understanding that this week, “roundtables” are going on in the audit practice. We don’t know what those are exactly but it sounds sorta serious and it’s definitely not billable, so enjoy making up the time. If you’ve had the pleasure of attending one of these sit-downs, let us know how it went and keep us updated with other details.

Career Center

Job of the Day: Help Fannie Mae Straighten Out Their Financial Statements

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

Fannie is working on getting things back on track and they need good people that can handle some financial reporting duties. Everything from 404 to implementing new GAAP, to SEC reporting. Plus, you’d kinda be serving your country.
Check out the details for a Financial Reporting Analyst position in Washington, D.C. after the jump.

Company: Fannie Mae

Title: Financial Reporting Analyst

Location: Washington, D.C.

Minimum experience: 4 years

Description: Reporting to a Manager of Financial Reporting, this position is part of a team responsible for preparing analysis of monthly, quarterly and annual corporate financial results and preparation and review of certain monthly and regulatory reporting.

Responsibilities: Preparation and review of analysis of monthly, quarterly and annual financial results for management, our regulators and external auditors; Coordination with business units and other areas within Controllers/Finance to ensure results are reasonable and variances are researched and explained; Supporting and managing timely and accurate reporting of financial results in various deliverables; Participating in special projects, including automation efforts and other improvements to the reporting process/efforts, to streamline processes to increase efficiency and effectiveness of group’s reporting and financial analysis; Implementation of new GAAP standards, as necessary; Participating in SOX 404 efforts, including documentation of process and facilitating testing of controls, as necessary; Assisting with Finance compliance efforts, as necessary; Assisting SEC reporting team, as needed, with preparation and review of external filings with the SEC (10K, 10Q) or implementation of new SEC standards.
Requirements and Skills: Bachelor Degree, or equivalent; CPA Preferred; 4-6 years of experience in accounting-related position with progressively challenging experience; Experience with and understanding of financial statements and current U.S. generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP), including experience in analyzing financial statements and corporate results

See the entire description over at the GC Career Center and visit the main page for all your job search needs.

Deloitte

Deloitte Starts Off the New Year with Some Generosity

Caleb Newquist
January 14, 2010

Good news Green Dotters with iPhones. After having to shell out $13 a month, we’re now happy to report that because so many of you were coveting them Deloitte will now offer the iPhone under at the standard rate under its mobile device program.

Our records indicate that you have an Apple iPhone connected to the Deloitte network–and we have good news for you!
We have continued our negotiations with AT&T and Apple. Based on Deloitte’s volume of iPhone orders, we are now able to offer the iPhone at the standard rate covered by the Deloitte mobile device program.
The good news–you will no longer be charged the monthly $13.00 surcharge for the iPhone.
Sincerely,
The PDA Team

So now everyone at Deloitte will have an iPhone? That should help with AT&T’s service issues. If you’re less enthused about this development, or you’re just hella-jealous because your firm doesn’t offer cool gadgets, discuss.

The JDA

The FDIC’s New “Risk-Based” Fee Policy. Or, Alternatively, “F&%k You, Pay Me; Banker Edition”

Adrienne Gonzalez
January 13, 2010

Editor’s Note: Want more JDA? You can see all of her posts for GC here, her blog here and stalk her on Twitter.
Listen, we know the FDIC is broke, there’s no use pretending they aren’t. But apparently we’re going to keep doing it so let’s stop for a moment and analyze the FDIC’s latest crackpot scheme to keep bad banks afloat and their balance in the black, shall we?
The summation up to now — for those of you with short attention spans — is that the FDIC is looking to tax banks’ asses based on the risks they take. On the surface that doesn’t sound like a bad idea until you consider the fact that the FDIC, by its very nature as a “safety net”, encourages the exact behavior they’re looking to “penalize”. Keeping in mind also that the Obama administration is coming down on banks from the other end with some tax scheme, it makes you wonder why the hell we bailed them out in the first place.

Blame the academics and these brainiacs in Washington who believe there’s nothing wrong with the fundamental framework of American banking, least of all that any of it could possibly be attributed to the attitude that Uncle Sam will always come to banks’ rescue. Here’s hoping the bankers paid attention in Econ 101 when they went over that whole “no such thing as a free lunch” part.
UPI:

FDIC Chairman Sheila Bair said there was “a broad consensus of academic studies,” that concluded “poorly designed compensation structures can misalign incentives and induce risk taking.”
Bair said called a study of “compensation structure, rather than levels of compensation,” a fair approach.

Maybe I just don’t have the auditor mind needed to wrap around a concept like this but WTF is that supposed to mean?! The FDIC epitomizes moral hazard so how in the hell is it that the FDIC is the one coming in to tap banks to cover said risks? I’m not rationalizing banks’ behavior (I remind dear reader here that the top 5 banks in America hold $275 trillion in notional derivative exposure) but, uh, just because Sheila needs to cover the next round of failed banks doesn’t make it appropriate to start regulating now.
Has she ever heard of too little too late? How about too much too late?
As I have already pointed out, we all know who is going to ultimately pay for this and it sure as hell isn’t the banks. Bend over, the next round is about to hit and it’ll hurt less if you’re prepared.

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