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EY Gets Busted and Yeets Cybersecurity Report Littered With AI Hallucinations

Yesterday we received a news release from a communications firm working for a group called GPTZero. Now you should know that we receive probably a hundred or more news releases…

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Layoff Watch ’26: KPMG Cuts 4% From Consulting

We've got another RIF at KPMG, a consulting cull that went down yesterday (that's Wednesday the 29th for those of you reading this a week from now). Let's start with…

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The Department of War Broke Up with KPMG, KPMG Gives Up Federal Audits Altogether

The other day -- and by the other day we mean like more than a week ago -- we received a text on the tipline that read "KPMG US to…

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KPMG Shoves 10% of Its Audit Partners Out the Door

We're sure you've seen this FT headline floating around today: KPMG to axe 10% of US audit partners. And if you, like most denizens of the internet these days, read…

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PwC Tells Remote Tax Staff to Get Their Butts Into the Office

So much for PwC letting all their people work remotely forever. Remember when that got headlines five years ago? See: PwC Just Announced That You Never Have To Go Back…

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Friday Footnotes: PCAOB Plans to Take It Easy; Just Ignore Those CP53E Notices, Probably | 5.15.26

Footnotes is a collection of stories from around the accounting profession curated by actual humans and published every Friday at 5pm Eastern. While you're here, subscribe to our newsletter to…

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Exterior EY building

EY Gets Busted and Yeets Cybersecurity Report Littered With AI Hallucinations

Yesterday we received a news release from a communications firm working for a group called GPTZero. Now you should know that we receive probably a hundred or more news releases…

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Grant Thornton building exterior with scissors

Layoff Watch ’26: Grant Thornton Making Some Cuts This Week

As discussed in this Reddit post and in a few tips we've gotten on the tipline received since yesterday, GT US has let some people go this week. How many…

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Grant Thornton building exterior at night

Private Equity Took a Big Bite Out of Grant Thornton UK Profits

While partners at Grant Thornton Australia prepare for a windfall of $5 million each after their deal with New Mountain Capital-backed Grant Thornton US goes through, things are going down…

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Monday Morning Accounting News Brief: Big Payout for Grant Thornton; Is the SEC Elbowing Out the PCAOB? | 5.11.26

Good morning, capital markets servants. Got a little news for you. Gonna be a short one, Friday Footnotes got all the good stories. In this news briefGrant Thornton Pay DayDoes…

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Technology

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EY Gets Busted and Yeets Cybersecurity Report Littered With AI Hallucinations

Yesterday we received a news release from a communications firm working for a group called GPTZero. Now you should know that we receive probably a hundred or more news releases…

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KPMG Plans to Hand Routine Testing Off to AI

Did you happen to see this WSJ article from the other day? In "In This Critical Part of Audits, the Accountant’s Role Is Shrinking Fast," we're given a look into…

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AI Will Be EY Auditors’ New BFF, According to EY

While staff in tax at EY US will soon be spending more time with their flesh-based colleagues due to a return-to-office mandate that requires them in the office for an…

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ICYMI: According to This AI CEO You Won’t Have to Go to Work in a Year

Commence to fantasizing about what you'll do with all that glorious free time when you lose your job to AI in 12-18 months because that's the confident prediction made by…

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Another Early AI Accounting Startup Just Bit the Dust

TIL that early AI accounting platform Botkeeper has died. I found out via this CFO Brew article which pointed to a post on Botkeeper's own site. Turns out r/accounting was…

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Practice Management

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Top Remote Tax and Accounting Candidates of the Week | October 16, 2025

Struggling to Find Remote Accounting or Tax Talent? We’ve Got You Covered.If your firm or internal team is having a tough time sourcing qualified remote tax and accounting professionals, you're…

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Top Remote Tax and Accounting Candidates of the Week | October 2, 2025

Struggling to Find Remote Accounting or Tax Talent? We’ve Got You Covered.If your firm or internal team is having a tough time sourcing qualified remote tax and accounting professionals, you're…

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Top Remote Tax and Accounting Candidates of the Week | September 25, 2025

Struggling to Find Remote Accounting or Tax Talent? We’ve Got You Covered.If your firm or internal team is having a tough time sourcing qualified remote tax and accounting professionals, you're…

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Top Remote Tax and Accounting Candidates of the Week | September 18, 2025

Struggling to Find Remote Accounting or Tax Talent? We’ve Got You Covered.If your firm or internal team is having a tough time sourcing qualified remote tax and accounting professionals, you're…

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Top Remote Tax and Accounting Candidates of the Week | September 4, 2025

Struggling to Find Remote Accounting Talent? We’ve Got You Covered. If your firm or internal team is having a tough time sourcing qualified remote tax and accounting professionals, you're not…

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Here Are Tax and Audit Salaries at Top 25, Top 300, and Regional Firms

Recruiting firm Brewer Morris has released its 2025 US CPA salary guide and should you want to read the whole thing you can request it from them here. Perhaps you,…

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Friendly Reminder Not to Work Yourself to Death For This Profession

Saw this on the bird app yesterday and thought its message would be worth passing along what with 20 days remaining until April 15 and nerves as strained as ever…

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Accounting Firm Abruptly Nopes Out of Tax Season Early (UPDATE)

Ed. note: An earlier version of this article's headline stated the sheriff is investigating. The Alexander County Sheriff's Office informed us they are not investigating, only fielding calls from the…

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This Deloitte Office Has Eliminated Trash Cans at Desks to Make Staff Get Up Off Their Asses

Boston Business Journal wrote an article about Deloitte's new office in Boston and for some reason they chose to lead with this: You won’t find trash cans at the desks…

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The IRS Decided to Troll Tax Pros For 10/15

We realize the decision to run maintenance on IRS systems likely isn't made by anyone who understands deadlines but surely someone who does could inform the IT department of these…

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Top Remote Accounting Freelancers: February 3, 2024

Looking to staff up for a season or hire a freelancer for a project? Accountingfly is ready to partner with you! Gain full access to a pool of highly skilled…

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10 Essential Project Management Principles for Accounting Firms

Every accounting firm struggles with project management, with smaller practices that are rapidly expanding taking the brunt of the damage. As your firm adds new clients, takes on more work,…

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6 Ways Email is Secretly Destroying Your Accounting Firm

Email: The word itself sounds innocent, doesn't it? Kind of like "snail mail," but faster, sleeker, and without the slimy trail. But don't be fooled—email is secretly a sinister beast,…

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Don’t Grow Your Accounting Firm Out of Business! Break Up With These Unscalable Practices Now

Business growth is always a high priority for accounting firms, especially small-to-midsize practices. Take care, though, because growth can be a double-edged sword. If your firm expands too quickly or…

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PwC Is Still Looking For (Other Big 4’s) Talent

We didn’t say poaching. But if we did say poaching, we’d also mention PwC is pretty damn good at it.

A non-PwC but Big 4 tipster shares an unsolicited email received on LinkedIn. Names have been redacted to protect the innocent (and guilty):

Significant Audit Opportunity with PwC in Chicago!
Dear ______,

Hello! I took some time to review your profile and felt that it would be mutually valuable for us to connect. I am a the manager of the talent acquisition team for our Assurance group at PwC, and we are currently experiencing substantial growth in this area across the US. In fact, our Chicago region ranked # 1 out of 6 markets with respect to growth in 2010.

Therefore, I’d appreciate the opportunity to set up some time with you to have a dialogue around industry and marketplace trends and PwC’s current expansion plans.

Even if you are not currently exploring outside opportunities, I would welcome the chance to network with you. Alternatively, if you know of anyone else who is open to considering new ventures, please feel free to pass on my details. With all the changes going on in the industry, especially at PwC, it’s always good to do a little information gathering.

Please feel free to contact me, or _____, Experienced Recruiting Associate – Assurance, at________ or at _______.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Is it just me or is “a little information gathering” a totally creepy proposition? And really?! “Significant” position? That’s the best they could do? I’m sorry but if I were a Big 4 grunt happy with my employer, it would take more than “significant” to get me to double cross them by abandoning them for the enemy.

Of course, this teaches those of you miserable in your current positions that it is important to have an updated LinkedIn presence that will draw in those anxious recruiters in like flies to Caleb’s armpits after a marathon yoga session.

Go get ’em, PwC!

Two-Timing Intern Considers Coming Clean

Ed. note: Are you questioning your career choices? Looking for guidance on how not to be a total jackass? Hoping for validation? Just feeling lonely and need someone to talk to? Get in touch, the career advice brain trust has your back.

Greetings,

I wanted to get your advice on whether or not I’m being unethical. I’m a career changer (finance to accounting) and finishing my masters in accounting in Summer 2012. I missed the recruiting window since I declared my major so late. Faced with the fact that I “missed the boat” on the recruiting season I luckily landed an audit internship with a national (top 20) CPA firm. My GPA and years of professional experience as well as a good interview got 20 isn’t Big 4; but in this job market I couldn’t afford to be picky.

But the Big 4 kool aid was calling me. I know they suck, underpay, and overwork but I view those factors as necessary evils to build my human capital. While the campus recruiters shunned me, I applied directly to the Big 4 as an experienced hire. Got an interview, and landed a full time staff audit position upon graduation (no internship required).

My problem is; I’m still interning this Spring (before graduation) at the other national CPA firm. Is it wrong for me to conceal the fact that I’m already signed to the Big 4 firm upon graduation? My Big 4 hiring people say I’m not doing anything wrong to conceal the fact since one is an internship and the other is a full time position. But I can’t help but feel that if the smaller firm knew there was zero chance that I’ll come aboard full time (if they offer) that they would reconsider allowing me to intern. I don’t want to start my new career being shady, but I want the internship experience and I need the money. Plus; there’s always the risk that the Big 4 firm rescinds their offer if the market shifts, right?

Thanks for your help guys,

Stuck in Gray Area

Sooooo, what is the problem, exactly, Gray Area? Call me dense or shadier than you are but I don’t really see the moral dilemma here. In theory, you’re cheating on the company that gave you an internship, not on your wife. In America, you’re completely allowed to do this (it’s called at-will employment, not indentured servitude). As long as you aren’t running off to your new employer with your current employer’s dirty little secrets, you’re fine.

Then again, you have to keep in mind that public accounting is a small world. In the worst case scenario, you piss everyone off with your two-timing and no one wants to hire your dirty dog ass. In the best case scenario, your “top 20” firm is used to getting ditched for the Big 4 and doesn’t care, or never finds out and you simply end your internship on a good note and move on. But if you’re some kind of superstar standout over there, they might stalk your LinkedIn profile and “wonder” how you landed a Big 4 gig so soon. So?

Yes, technically you are being shady. Unethical? That’s a stretch. Still, it’s a great sign that you are considering these things, it shows you’ll make a great CPA some day.

You mention “this job market” – of what job market do you speak? Jobs are a dime a dozen in accounting, and with something like 3% unemployment in our cozy little industry, you shouldn’t feel forced to take whatever you can get just to have a job. Unless you are a serious underachiever, morally bankrupt (not an issue, see above), socially challenged or cursed with horrible halitosis and a contagious skin condition, you should be able to find a decent gig in this industry unless market conditions wildly change. I just don’t see that happening.

I recommend channeling your inner Ayn Rand for a good dose of “to each his own” that might help you get over the moral dilemma. Your first loyalty always lies with your own well-being (be that financial, mental, whatever), unless your employer has personally given you a kidney or bailed you out of jail, you really don’t owe them anything except the work they pay you for.

That being said, if you are half-assing your work at your current firm because you know your days are numbered, that’s a bit more shady than simply lining up an opportunity you feel is better for your goals. As long as you’re doing what is expected of you, I see no harm to your public accounting karmic balance. Then again, I’m kind of a sketchy, money-grubbing sleazebag.

I’m hoping the sketchy, money-grubbing sleazebags who frequent this site will be happy to back me up on this.

Accounting News Roundup: IFRS 9.1; Credit Suisse Snitches to the IRS; Supreme Court Has KPMG’s Back | 11.08.11

Accounting body may change its “fair value” rule [Reuters]
IASB board member Stephen Cooper told an accounting conference on Monday IFRS 9 may have to be changed as it tries to “converge” its rules with those used in the United States.
Differences between the IASB and the U.S. Financial Accounting Standards Board over aligning fair value and other rules pushed back convergence work due to have been completed by June this year.
“If we are going to consider the FASB position and think what we should do and ask constituents views, then implicitly we have to contemplate the possibility of reopening IFRS 9 and making changes. Otherwise, what is the point of consulting?,” Cooper said.

Olympus fallout hits Tokyo securities traders [FT]
Japanese brokerage stocks were caught up in the downdraft amid speculation that they may have been involved in Olympus’s activities, analysts said. Nomura Securities , which said it was unaware of any involvement in the group’s concealment of losses, saw very active trade as its shares slid 15 per cent to Y245 – the lowest since 1974, according to Bloomberg data. Daiwa Securities fell 7 per cent to Y251.

Credit Suisse To Disclose Names Of U.S. Clients Suspected Of Tax Evasion [Reuters]
Credit Suisse AG, Switzerland’s second-largest bank, has begun notifying certain U.S. clients suspected of offshore tax evasion that it intends to turn over their names to the Internal Revenue Service, with the help of Swiss tax authorities. Credit Suisse’s notification by letter, a copy of which was obtained on Monday by Reuters, says the handover of names and account details will take place following a recent formal request for the information by the IRS.

Deloitte to Lease Office Space Near London 2012 Olympic Park [Business Week]
Deloitte LLP will lease two floors in a 12-story building by London’s Olympic Park to entertain clients during the 2012 Summer Games. Deloitte, one of accounting’s “Big Four” firms, will use about 16,000 square feet (1,486 square meters) of space near the main venues in London’s East End, spokesman James Igoe said. He didn’t say how much the building’s owner, Westfield Group, will charge in rent.

US High Court Orders Fla Court To Reconsider KPMG Appeal In Case Tied To Madoff [WSJ]
The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday ordered a Florida court to reconsider a KPMG LLP appeal that seeks to stop a Florida lawsuit alleging the accounting firm failed to properly audit three funds that invested with Bernard Madoff.
Investors in the funds, managed by Tremont Group Holdings Inc., said they lost millions in the Madoff Ponzi scheme and alleged those losses were the direct result of KPMG’s failure to detect the fraud.

Promises Made, and Remade, by Firms in S.E.C. Fraud Cases [NYT]
Did you say the SEC has no balls? That’s what I heard.

Obama Needs to Fire SEC Chief Schapiro [The Street]
Opinions. Assholes. Everyone has one.

It Turns Out Olympus Could Have (Allegedly) Hidden One of the Largest Accounting Frauds EVER

Just a few days ago, Caleb asked why anyone would care if Olympus fired KPMG after a dispute over an accounting matter, but early this morning we learned the answer to that seemingly obvious question.

The question now is, why did KPMG wait around to get fired and not run the hell out of there? Well, because the issue at hand at that point was “goodwill impairment,” which ended up being a series of $1 billion transactions that added up to possible fraud. We won’t say Japanese regulators haven’t had the chance to dissect the evidence yet. We can only assume KPMG did not notice that glaring $1 billion error or surely they would have alerted the financial authorities. No, dismissed “quietly,” swapped out for Ernst & Young. Like Uncle Ernie needs this heat right now.

Fine. Now we’re at tonight (here, at least) and WSJ is live-blogging the press conference at which Olympus’s new president suffered a media grilling over revelations that the company used phony mergers to hide investment losses from shareholders.

“I was absolutely unaware of the facts I am now explaining to you,” new CEO Shuichi Takayama told the press conference. “The previous presentations were mistaken.” Right. First thing you do in this situation is CY-MFing-A, bro.

The Japanese medical equipment and digital camera maker admitted to using acquisitions to cover its securities losses going back to the 1990s. Think about that for a moment. Many of you weren’t even aware of the world around you in the 90s, that was a long fucking time ago. So much for confidence in fragile financial markets.

It wasn’t that long ago that Olympus fired its British CEO Michael Woodford. Takayama had to answer more than a few questions about Woodford at his press conference:

There is a question about Mr. Woodford. “There are no plans for him to return,” Mr. Takayama said.

A reporter asking why the company is not thinking about revoking Mr. Woodford’s dismissal.

Mr. Takayama said Mr. Woodford was dismissed for his management style and therefore, there is no thought of revoking that dismissal.

A reporter asks Mr. Takayama if his impression of Mr. Woodford has changed in light of the revelations, his response: “No, it has not.”

It’s very interesting how they are holding the line against Mr. Woodford. It almost seems personal.

It couldn’t possibly stem from a feeling of betrayal and anger! A 20-year-old (alleged) fraud is suddenly trotted out into the 24-hour Internet news cycle (they didn’t have that in the 90s when they started this scam) and these guys have to apologize to shareholders because this asshole went sniffing around their completely obviously fake M&As.

“It is truly extraordinary and frankly unbelievable that Olympus, a major Nikkei listed public company, made a series of payments approaching USD 700 million in fees to a company in the Cayman Islands whose ultimate ownership is still unknown to us, preventing the auditors from verifying that no related parties were involved,” Woodford wrote in an Oct. 11 letter. “In putting the company first, the honorable way forward would be for you and Mori-san to face the consequences of what has taken place, which is a shameful saga by any stretch of the imagination.”

Woodford hired PwC, who wrote a damning report exposing Olympus’s shady M&A activities. PwC spokesman Derek Nash said he “could neither confirm or deny” that the firm had done any work for Olympus.

Fuck! When will these whistleblowers stop?

The good news: plenty of work coming up for you, GC faithful.

Ex-Marine Who Missed Internship Deployment Looking For His Next Assignment

Do you guys ever get an insidious sense of deja vu when reading some of these advice posts? I know I do. Anyway, here’s another lost little sheep looking for a sense of direction in this big scary world. If you’re feeling lost, hopeless, confused or otherwise unsure, hit us up with your issue and we’ll do our best not to make fun of you in front of everyone.

Dear GC,

I have a situation that may be just a little bit different than most college undergraduates but can’t be the only one in this situation. I attend a small private business sch I am a Marine Corps veteran of 4 years and currently using the G.I. Bill as an undergraduate accounting student with a 3.62 GPA. I am in my second year; however, this is my 4th semester and because I do summer semesters as well and I got 21 credits from military experience, I am right along with the Juniors in terms of graduation date. In fact I will have more credits than them when they graduate needing only 15 more to get the 150. The problem arises in me being ahead, yet behind. I am far ahead of the the sophomores, yet a little behind the juniors in regards to accounting courses completed. I am taking Intermediate I and AIS this semester and Intermediate II and Tax in the Spring. I thought because I didn’t have that many accounting courses completed going into this semester that I should wait to apply for internships, especially Big 4. Then I found out that the most accounting firms around here do all of their recruiting in September. Even though Deloitte and PwC are the only big 4 firms recruiting at my school. So I started applying for internships in October to smaller firms and filling out talent profiles on the Big 4 websites. I do plan on attending University of Pittsburgh’s MAcc 1 year program after graduation so I would in a sense have another summer opportunity to get an internship. My question is, should I in the meantime try and get an internship doing individual tax returns or private accounting at a chain retail company? (I have offers for both) Ideally I want something in Public, and eventually that is what I want to; however, would either of those internships help me at all in the long run towards getting an internship with the Big 4 next year? Also like I said only those 2 seem to recruit at my school. Is there anyway to really have a chance at E&Y or KPMG? Thank you in advance.

First off, thank you for your service to this country. My grandfather was a Marine (enlisted just before the end of WW II and missed the action), so out of respect to you for your service, I’m not going to make an excessive number of comments about how much editing I had to do to make your letter readable. But I will make a humble suggestion (in case you weren’t just being sloppy given who you were emailing), please tighten up your writing a bit before you go out there sniffing for Big 4 gigs. Granted, most recruiters can’t spell recruiter but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be putting your best foot forward here.

Now that we got that out of the way, can I ask you something? Why are you so dead set on the Big 4? You’re not actually planning on spending your entire career there, are you? It is unclear from your email why you want to be in the Big 4 so bad, so we’re going to assume here that either you drank the Kool-aid or don’t realize that there are a myriad of other opportunities for someone with your background.

Coming from a small school with low recruitment and boasting a 3.62 GPA probably won’t make you stand out on any HR desks anytime soon but the tide could definitely turn when you get in to the University of Pittsburgh MAcc program, assuming you do well and are able to attend recruiting events that are likely more active than the ones at your current school. As you noted, this is good. Also good: your military service (they eat that stuff up, it shows an ability to take orders and not revolt) and the fact that you will definitely be CPA eligible from the moment they bring you on.

What’s the rush in the meantime? Are you looking for the experience? Trying to get your foot in the door in public? Have bills to pay? Just want to get out of the house? You have plenty on your plate (not to mention the CPA exam ahead of you), if I were you I’d just focus on school for now instead of considering doing tax returns in your spare time. Unless that’s what you want to do with the rest of your career.

Since many accounting students participate in VITA anyway, telling recruiters you interned on tax returns probably isn’t going to earn you many points. And unless the “private accounting” gig involves work under a licensed CPA that you can use toward your experience requirement for CPA licensure, I wouldn’t bother.

Comment section is open for the Peanut Gallery’s (much appreciated) two cents.

PwC India Consultant Did Not Technically Die From Work-Related Hazards

Over the weekend, we got news that a 34-year-old PwC India senior consultant was found dead at his Calcutta home. A maid noticed smoke and alerted the man’s parents, who lived downstairs. When the parents rushed into the room, they found their son’s bed partially in flames. Police and fire department officials initially suspected Sayan Chowdhury died of electrocution after discovering his charred body lying close to his charging laptop and iPod, headphones still in his ears. Police believe the man fell asleep with the laptop on.

“The preliminary post-mortem suggests he died of carbon monoxide inhalation, apparently while asleep,” joint commissioner of police Damayanti Sen said.

A friend told The Telegraph (India) that Chowdhury was “a very bright professional and had been rising fast in the organisation since switching from Cognizant Technology Solutions.” He leaves behind a six month old daughter and a wife, who also happens to work for PwC.

It is suspected at this time that Chowdhury died of carbon monoxide poisoning after the laptop charger short circuited in his tightly closed bedroom. The victim’s wife and newborn daughter were not in the home at the time, as they have been staying with his wife’s parents, who have been helping to care for the baby.

Experts suggest that it is possible the adapter attached to the power supply cord may have failed, leading to a 230-volt alternating current surge into the laptop, turning it into a death trap. Or, the battery may have got overcharged and exploded, spilling lethal chemicals on Chowdhury. Aside from the short circuit scenario, investigators have not ruled out the possibility that the fire and subsequent fatal CO inhalation was caused by a burning cigarette. “To identify the source of the CO, we have to wait for the forensic reports. The state forensic science laboratory officials collected samples of charred wire, the sample of half-burnt cigerettes,” an officer said.

What is the lesson here, kids? Well for one, don’t work too hard. Two, don’t leave your laptop on the charger. Three, don’t pass out with your laptop on the charger. Safety first!

 

Let’s Cut Through the “Noise” About Forensic Accounting and Fraud Investigation Programs

West Virginia University’s Forensic Accounting & Fraud Investigation (FAFI) program, in the College of Business and Economics, is one of the most recognized and respected programs in the world. Period.

At WVU, our program is:

• based upon knowledge gained from leaders in forensic accounting-public accounting, industry, education and government, including U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF)
• geared toward exposing students to best practices in an expanding field of opportunities
• created by our faculty, who facilitated guidelines for the National Institute of Justice
• leading research in forensic accounting and fraud examination through the Institute for Fraud Prevention (IFP)

And we’re tailoring our graduate certificate program to fit your life — by giving you the option of enrolling in a traditional classroom program or an online program (the on-program includes two, two-day residencies on WVU’s main campus). Either way, your residencies include moot court, pitching cases to prosecutors and CSI-F (Crime Scene Investigation – Financial) experiences exclusive to WVU.


There’s a lot of white noise out there about forensic accounting and fraud investigation programs, and most of it is just that.

When the Internal Revenue Service needed to train its people in best practices for detecting fraud, identifying the real thing and collecting evidence to use in court, the agency came to WVU. The WVU Forensic Accounting & Fraud Investigation program offers:

• hands-on case investigations
• experiential learning
• extensive exposure to outside professionals
• moot court experience
• CSIF event
• your choice: traditional classroom or online program with on-campus residencies

And if you’re a non-West Virginia resident, you are eligible for a $4,000 scholarship.

West Virginia University’s College of Business and Economics even has the nation’s first-ever Ph.D. program in accounting that offers a specialization in forensic accounting and fraud investigation. Credibility, curriculum, commitment. That’s WVU.

The bottom line is that you want a program that is going to dramatically increase your skill set, make you a more valuable asset to your company and help move your career upward. Done.

A Few KPMGers Give Their Unqualified Opinion on Baby Poop

Yes, baby poop.

Apparently a few Kylnveldians recently got together to celebrate the upcoming birth of capital market servant spawn. Instead of the usual “pin-the-tail-on-the-obstetrician” and “figure out what kind of candy bar this is melted in the diaper” games most baby shower goers might be familiar with, the crew decided to get creative and make some onesies.

“I thought the KPMG outfit has so many underlying messages,” says the tipster, “For example: how creative we are when are spirits are not smashed, how many times our audits are as bad a verifying that poop is poop, etc. At least its cute!”

We call child abuse.

The Most Horrifying Prometric Story I Have Ever Heard

Remember last week when I asked you guys for your horror stories tales from the CPA exam frontlines? So far a few have trickled in (come on, people, you guys complain about this ALL THE TIME, I know there are more) but I just had to share this one. Keep in mind I’ve heard it all over the years, so this has to be pretty awful to stand out to me. As you’re about to see, it is.

Now please, I know you guys favor juvenile humor and bathroom jokes (and by you guys I mean me) but let’s be adults for the three minutes it takes to read this story and feel a little sympathy for this candidate.

Adrienne,
I wanted to share a story with you about my most recent exam. I, unfortunately, have to wear an ostomy bag due to health issues. When I took my exam, they did their pat down, and didn’t say a word. I don’t think they noticed that I wear a bag, as most people do not. During the exam, they came in and asked me to leave my terminal because they believe that I was carrying notes underneath my shirt.

I was questioned and searched in the room (in a professional way, I guess), but lost 10 minutes off of my test time as well as losing major concentration so they could “search” me for these mysterious notes of mine. Come to find out, it was just my beige ostomy bag that was showing. Shocker!

The embarrassment of wearing the bag is enough in itself, but being pulled away from a professional exam, losing both time and concentration, was a terrible experience. The people working at the location should have handled this in a more discreet manner. I still passed the exam, but it was a frustrating experience that could have waited until the end of the exam or when I took a break.

Didn’t something similar happen at a TSA checkpoint? As if we didn’t already think of Prometric lackeys as glorified airport security agents.

Now, nowhere in the candidate bulletin does it say candidates must loudly disclaim their medical devices to Prometric staff and declare them upon entry into the building. I imagine if someone had a broken wrist and was wearing a cast, the staff would be able to inspect said cast without issue before the candidate begins their exam but for this candidate, would it have gone any better if he or she had announced their special medical issue? Let’s be honest, this is awkward.

But for future reference… maybe candidates are expected to declare all medical devices? What next? Do you have to inform the Prometric staff if you’re packing a used tampon?!

Sorry. This post was already gross, might as well go all the way. I’m disgusted. In more ways than one.

It isn’t too late to get me your Prometric horror stories, though the bar has officially been set.

Accounting News Roundup: MF Global’s MFing Accounting; Tax Credits For Prisoners and the Deceased; the Groupon Blow-Off | 11.07.11

MF Global Brokerage Can Probe, Not Share Results [Bloomberg]
U.S. Bankruptcy court judge Martin Glenn said at a hearing today that the brokerage trustee, James W. Giddens, can share documents and depositions with the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission. The trustee must probe management’s possible involvement without interference from the parent company, Glenn said. “There have already been serious allegations of misconduct,” Glenn said, citing company lawyers who told the SEC on Oct. 31 that there was a significant shortfall in its collateral for segregated accounts.

Was MF Global brought down by an accounting play? [Reuters]
Felix Salmon isn’t convinced that MF Global’s accounting methods brought it down a la Lehman.

Finding more flaws in HUD’s accounting of HOME program [Washington Post]
“The data that HUD has provided to this committee is completely unreliable,” said Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-Tex.), chairman of the House Financial Services subcommittee on oversight and investigations, which has been probing the HOME program. “HUD has almost no way of knowing whether taxpayer dollars have been wasted or used for their intended purpose.”

Old Debts Dog Europe’s Banks [WSJ]
European banks are sitting on heaps of exotic mortgage products and other risky assets that predate the financial crisis, adding to pressure on lenders that also are holding large quantities of euro-zone government debt.

More problems are found with home buyer tax credits [LA Times]
Would you be shocked to hear that TIGTA found a few of these credits went to folks such as dead people, prison inmates and 3-year-olds?

Watch Groupon CEO Andrew Mason Blow Off A Bloomberg Reporter [Business Insider]
Maybe it started when she called him “baby-faced.”

Here’s a Bunch of Cute Kids Explaining Why They Want to Be Tax Accountants

PROGRAMMING NOTE: I’ll be on vacation next week in an undisclosed location but you’ll be in the very capable hands and permanently ink-stained arms of Adrienne. I don’t think I have to explain to you what will happen if you don’t behave.


Because I know you’ll miss me with every fiber of your being (and it’s Friday), I’ve presented the following video for your enjoyment.

[via TaxProf]

Memo to CPAs: Those Needy Clients Are Sick of You Not Giving Them Enough Attention

Do you have needy clients? You know the type – they want to talk to you when every little thing goes wrong. They call to chit-chat for no reason in particular. They need your opinion on EV-ER-Y-THING. How are you responding to these people? Are you not returning their calls? Are you showing up late to your meetings with them? Do you just listen passively on the phone while repeating, “Uh, huh. Yes. I understand,” as you struggle with level 6-13 on Angry Birds? THOUGHT SO.

Well, they’re on to you. They sense your lack of interest. Your lack of giving a rat’s ass. And you know what? They are FED UP. There are plenty of CPAs out there that would love a client like them and MAYBE they’ll just go out and find one:

“Business is out there, but you have to market yourself differently,” [Allan Koltin, chief executive of Koltin Consulting Group] said, noting that one out of seven accounting firm clients are not happy with their accounting firm and are open to switching firms.

He urged attendees to spend time learning the personal goals of their clients. Among the factors affecting a client’s decision to leave an accounting firm, fees were ninth on the list, he indicated. “The number one factor was that the firm didn’t spend enough time with the client.”

“They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” he said.

Got the message? They aren’t going to put up with your shit forever.

Business Resurging for Accounting Firms [AT]