Anyone who is a fan of the NHL knows that hockey players rarely call each other by their first or last names. They call each other by their hockey nicknames.
There’s really no rhyme or reason for how hockey players get their nicknames. But usually, you get your hockey nickname by either adding “-er,” “-y,” “-zie,” or “-s” to the first syllable of your last name or sometimes the first syllable of your first name. Some also just go by their initials. For example:
- Chicago Blackhawks stars Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane are called “Tazer” and “Kaner,” respectively.
- San Jose Sharks defenseman Brent Burns is known as “Burnsy.”
- Montreal Canadiens center Andrew Shaw is called “Shawzie.”
- Columbus Blue Jackets head coach John Tortorella is known as “Torts.”
- Former NHL star Jeremy Roenick went by his initials “JR.”
So, if Going Concern staff went by our hockey nicknames, I would probably be “Brammy” and Adrienne would be “AG.”
Now, you’re probably wondering what the point of this article is. Well, last night while I was playing NHL 19 on Xbox, I got to thinking: What would be the hockey nicknames of the Big 4 CEOs?
Why was I thinking about this? Two reasons (other than I have no life):
- Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final between the St. Louis Blues and the Boston Bruins is tonight.
- Deloitte Canada announced on May 28 that Anthony Viel will be its next CEO, effective June 2.
When I saw the press release about Viel, I started to think about what his hockey nickname would be. I mean, even though he’s a native of Australia, he’s lived in Canada for the past four years, currently in Toronto, so by now, Viel has to have become a jaded and disappointed Maple Leafs fan, right?
So, would his hockey nickname be “Viels?” Meh. How ’bout “Vielzie?” That’s better: Anthony “Vielzie” Viel. But apparently he already has a hockey nickname. He’s known within the firm as “AV.” And he’s called by his initials several times in the press release, including in a statement from Deloitte Canada Chairman Duncan Sinclair, whose hockey nickname has to be “Duncs.”
“We believe AV is the right choice to lead the next chapter of the firm’s remarkable and 161-year long story as one of Canada’s largest businesses. He is an impactful, passionate and innovative leader who disrupts the status quo in pursuit of bold and focused growth. AV is committed to elevating our people, our clients, our communities, and our country.”
But what about the Big 4 CEOs in the U.S.? Let’s speculate as to what their hockey nicknames would be, starting with probably the biggest hockey fan among them.
Tim “Ryanzie” Ryan, PwC
Ryan probably had a hockey nickname while he played, but we’re going to guess that it was “Ryanzie” because “Ryans” or “Ryaner” are dumb.
The Bruins fan was recently owned on Twitter by his son, Thomas, after Ryan toured the Providence Friars’ men’s hockey team’s locker room:
Quit acting like you can still skate
— Thomas Ryan (@tryan0638) April 26, 2019
Lynne “Doughy” Doughtie, KPMG
Doughtie, who became the second woman to lead a Big 4 U.S. firm when she took over as KPMG CEO in 2015, likes her golf. You can often see her palling around with walking KPMG billboards Phil Mickelson and Stacy Lewis at KPMG-sponsored PGA or LPGA tournaments or events.
I have to believe that because she works in New York City, Doughtie roots for the New York Rangers during the NHL season, or maybe she’s a Washington Capitals fan because she grew up in Powhatan, VA?
We really only had two options for Doughtie’s hockey nickname: “Doughts” or “Doughy.” It’s gotta be “Doughy,” right? Right.
Joe “Ucuzy” Ucuzoglu, Deloitte
We usually call Ucuzoglu “Joe U.” on this site because, well, Ucuzoglu is a helluva last name. But it’s really not a good hockey nickname.
There weren’t many good options for a hockey nickname for Joe U., so we’re gonna go with “Ucuzy.” That’s a good one. You can just hear Brad Marchand of the Bruins saying in a post-game press conference, “Ucuzy made a great pass to me, and I buried it.”
Carmine “DeeSibs” Di Sibio, EY
Di Sibio is another CEO-in-waiting, as he officially takes over as EY global chairman and CEO from Mark Weinberger on July 1.
I thought that maybe we could give him the hockey nickname of “Carms,” and that really wouldn’t be a bad one. But I kind of liked “DeeSibs” a little better. It’s a little more unique, given how his last name is spelled and pronounced.
If you want to expand hockey nicknames to CEOs outside of the Big 4, you could go with Joe “Adamsy” Adams of RSM US and Wayne “Bersy” Berson of BDO USA. It’s a little more difficult to come up with a traditional hockey nickname for Grant Thornton CEO Mike McGuire, so we think “McG” would work fine.
Feel free to come up with your own hockey nicknames for other people in the accounting community and put them in the comment section. Also, let us know if you’ve got the Blues or the Bruins winning the Cup. I’m not a big Bruins fan, but I hate the Blues, so go Boston, I guess.