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Deloitte is Out Here Being Cringey on LinkedIn Again

Posted on September 5, 2022 by Adrienne Gonzalez
a stern looking polar bear
via r/linkedinlunatics

That polar bear’s name? Albert Einstein.

Related articles:
We Get It Lady, You Work For Deloitte
What’s Up With Deloitters and the LinkedIn Cult Mentality?
Everyone Knows 11-Year-Olds Can’t Wait to Work at Deloitte

Posted in Deloitte, Social MediaTagged as seen on Reddit, LinkedIn, that happened

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Previous: Friday Footnotes: EY Split Drags Out; Advisory Firm Defrauds Clients; Student Loan Forgiveness and Taxes | 9.2.22
Next: Tuesday Morning Accounting News Brief: PwC’s Skepticism Fail; KPMG’s Appalling Work; Marcum Deal Done | 9.6.22

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Deloitte Offers Insight on How It Plans to Retain Its Workforce

  • Daniel Braddock
  • April 16, 2010

Continuing with Wednesday’s attempt to provide insight on some KPMG H.R. banter, I will try to do the same with a recent Deloitte press release.

What seems to be their attempt to provide the private sector advice on how to prevent an exodus of talent actually sounds like a fluffy internal HR memo. Perhaps the Big 4 should review Deloitte’s top ten list of ways to not get slaughtered by the ever-improving job market:

1. Take advantage of the continuing globalization of talent and leadership markets.

DWB – Raid your competitors of their best talent, downplayed earlier this week.


2. Know your critical leaders and most critical talent. Keep your talent pipeline robust enough to deliver those critical skills.

DWB – Pay your top performers in order to keep them happy. If they receive an offer elsewhere, counter-offer their asses. Because the only inevitable outcome is the loss of some talent, see #1.

3. Prepare for a workforce that is more mobile and quicker to pursue new career opportunities.

DWB – Keep tabs on your people. Job loyalty has gone the way of the dinosaurs Baby Boomers. The “what’s in it for me” mentality is keeping job markets saturated with talented individuals looking for a better deal.

4. Tailor your strategies to address the generational and geographic diversity of your workforce.

DWB – Old people and young people don’t get along. They’ve never gotten along. They never will get along. Accept it and move on.

5. Show your employees both the money and the love. Communicate your employer brand as clearly to employees as you communicate your product brand to customers.

DWB – One part water plus two parts HR spin, stirred. Pour over ice. Serve.

6. Know what it takes to stay ahead of your competitors in retaining critical talent, developing new leaders, implementing workforce planning and driving innovation.

DWB – I don’t have a clue what you’re supposed to learn from this. Money is the main driving force. Money makes people dance for joy or jump ship. If your retained talent is net positive, suhhhweeet.

7. Create clear career paths for employees at all levels.

DWB – I like this one if implemented correctly. The traditional career trajectories are well known; communicate practice-to-practice and geographic rotations. Change – even short term – can refresh one’s career and create a greater sense of loyalty to the firm.

8. Align your leadership development programs with your long-term business goals.

DWB – Every firm has ‘the chosen ones” and invests in additional training, retreats, and leader cultivation courses. This should come as no surprise.

9. Know the real impact of talent retention and voluntary turnover on your bottom line.

DWB – Newsflash: it is not cheap to replace talent. Considering most hires begin their careers as interns, we’re talking years of financial investment in every staff member. From pen giveaways to amusement park tickets, there’s a steep price for every staff member lost!

10. Be a beneficiary — not a victim — of the resume tsunami.

DWB – Perhaps you should revisit point #1.

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