Many of you are probably too young to remember the old Dear Abby columns in the newspaper, or newspapers for that matter, and while the original “Abby” died like a decade ago, her advice column lives on. In the 15 years Going Concern has existed, we’ve written about Dear Abby exactly twice. Make that three times now.
Just the other day, Moved on in Arizona asked a question about workplace etiquette, specifically if it’s OK to complain about your colleagues constantly dipping out to do stuff for their kids if you yourself don’t have any. He’s since resigned but his boss keeps checking in to see how he’s doing. He writes:
DEAR ABBY: I worked for 11 years in the accounting department of a busy law firm.
During my tenure, my three much younger colleagues married and started families. Due to the inevitable trials of raising kids, planned, unplanned and often simultaneous absences became commonplace, which left me to run the department alone.
During my last performance review, which I presumed to be confidential, I shared with our boss my exhaustion and health-impacting stress.
My appeal for additional personnel was rejected.
Rather than address the matter in the context of firm productivity, our boss informed each of my co-workers that I had complained about their chronic absenteeism, drawing charges that I, a middle-aged male with no children, was “insensitive” to their familial obligations.
I mended fences to the best of my ability but resigned shortly thereafter. I never confronted my boss, and he was never aware I had any knowledge of his manipulation. He now contacts me monthly to feign concern for my health and tell me how much I am missed, all of which is disingenuous.
As my former colleagues have now left the firm and face no retribution, I would like to end his contacts with an appropriate expression of my contempt. Or should I simply block him and be done with it? — MOVED ON IN ARIZONA
Abby — real name Jeanne Phillips who’s held the Abby post since 2000 — essentially curved the childless accountant vs. parents issue completely and said only that Moved On should move TF on and ignore his boss. “As a former employee of that firm, you are under no obligation to have any more contact with your former boss,” she wrote. “If you are still in the working world, refrain from venting about your contempt.”
What do we think? Should he tell his ex-boss off? Should he have complained in the first place? Was the boss a dick for snitching?
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