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Thank Goodness It’s Friday Open Items!

Posted on by Adrienne Gonzalez

Before I let you loose in this week's open items thread, I have a brief housekeeping item I want to get out of the way that doesn't warrant its own post if that's cool. As you all know, today marks our first full week together since I took the wheel of this ratchet ship (#shoutouttoglory #beyonceisnteventhatgoodyouknowthatright #ratchetismynewfavoriteword). I'll let you in on a little secret: my first Executive Order after taking over was to fire Colin but then TPTB informed me that even though he isn't running the show over here any longer, he's still my boss. Darn, I tried. Anyway, even though some of you think I'm a whipcracking dictator (or maybe you fantastize that I am), I swear your opinions and feelings matter to me. I'm hoping you all are having as much fun as I am but if you need to vent, have story ideas or just need to talk, my figurative door is always open. Please don't hesitate to check in. I MEAN IT.

NOW, back to the issue at hand. Welcome to your Friday Open Items thread for the week of November 18 – November 22. While you guys have been busy protecting capital markets, Colin and I have been in Denver with the AWeb folks too trying to brainstorm how to make this the most kick-ass degenerate accounting website ever in history. Things are going great, despite Colin's overuse of banned words and phrases like "circle back" and "think outside the box." So this is for him:

I'm going to get back to sneering at him for using buzzwords over here, I trust you kids can take it from here. Have fun and be nice!

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Barney Frank Doesn’t Legislate Accounting, He Only ‘Exerts Pressure’

bfrank.pngAs you may know, the mere thought of Congress legislating accounting rules makes us nauseous to the point of passing out. Barney Frank, in an attempt to alleviate this common malady among accountants, has been quoted by Web CPA saying that “We will never legislate accounting while I’m chairman [of the Financial Services Committee]”.


According to the piece, Barn says that when he, and the rest of the committee, whipped Bob Herz, FASB Chairman, into submission over changes in mark-to-market rules, this was not legislating, this was “exerting pressure”.

Depending on who you ask (ahem, Hank Paulson), exerting pressure could easily be confused with “threatening” and threatening is clearly how legislation gets done in this country, whether it’s got a signature on it or not. So call it what you like, Barney-boy, we’re on to your doublespeak .

Barney Frank: ‘We Will Never Legislate Accounting’ [Web CPA]

Guilty Madoff CFO Update

It’s offish. DiPascali pleaded guilty to all ten counts against him and faces 125 years in prison, just quarter century short of Boss Ponz. However, because he is cooperating with the U.S. Attorney, DiPascali may be lucky enough to get a sentence under the century mark.
The bright side for Frank DiPascali is that he gets to spend his last few days as a free man courtesy of a very nice sister who put up her house for the $2.5 million bond. Sentencing is tentatively set for May 2010.
DiPascali was the man that many Madoff investors corresponded with directly so it’s clear to us that he was LYING A LOT.
Per the WSJ:

The former chief financial officer for Bernard Madoff says he helped the disgraced financier and others “carry out a fraud that hurt thousands of people”…Mr. DiPascali said at the plea hearing that the transactions were “all fake. It was all fictitious. It was wrong, and I knew it was wrong at the time.”

Okay then, nothing really new there but we will be waiting patiently to hear the other names. Next bean counter up for book throwing is David Friehling, who was kind enough to rubber stamp the Madoff financial statements for around $14k a month. Bright side for Friehling is that he’s looking at 50% less time in jail then Bernie.