Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility

Employee Satisfaction Survey: GC Edition

In the spirit of what appears to be survey week, we’re honoring requests to do our own survey. Plus we’ve been inspired by some questions that we’ve seen in the comments.
We’ve presented a few questions for you to answer, after the jump. Feel free to add your more appropriate “D” answer to any of them. We also encourage you to keep submitting your questions with multiple choice responses.

Question 1 – I feel that I am recognized for my performance:
A. Too frequently by ass-grabs.
B. Not frequently enough by ass-grabs.
C. I prefer to not be recognized for my performance because I don’t like anyone talking to me and if I have one more conversation with one of these idiots I’m punching that idiot in the face.
Question 2 – Leadership’s communication:
A. Is jamming up my inbox to the point that I can’t locate my porn newsletters.
B. Is helpful when I’m having trouble vomiting.
C. Would be much more tolerable if it was a show tune sung by Hugh Jackman.
Question 3 – I feel that my compensation:
A. Is about as fair as getting kicked in the genitals on a daily basis.
B. Is appropriate if I had not finished high school.
C. Makes my friend, who delivers newspapers, laugh.