
You Won’t Be Seeing Phil Mickelson Wearing a KPMG Hat Ever Again
A relationship we thought would never end came to an end today. At least we won’t feel the need to write “Happy Birthday, Phil Mickelson” posts anymore. KPMG has had Mickelson’s back even when he was accused of being involved in an insider trading scheme, complained about having rich man tax problems, and fell short […]

Old Guy Wearing KPMG Hat Wins At Golf
Congrats to KP(hil)MG’s most beloved and valuable employee for winning his second PGA Championship on Sunday—his sixth major overall—and for becoming the oldest major champion ever at age 50. Phil Mickelson and his blue KPMG hat shot a one-over-par 73 during the final round of the PGA Championship on Sunday, finishing with a two-shot lead […]

Happy 50th Birthday to Walking KPMG Billboard, Phil Mickelson!
Everyone’s favorite blue-KPMG-hat-wearing, non-U.S.-Open-winning, left-handed duffer is turning the big 5-0 today. And the honorary Klynveldian was appreciative of the birthday wishes from the Mothership. Thank you @KPMG for the many years of support. I’m 50, time has flown by and I’ve loved every second of it! https://t.co/WMV8XYSRmO — Phil Mickelson (@PhilMickelson) June 16, 2020 […]

Good News, KPMG: At Least Your Badness of Late Didn’t Rub Off on Phil Mickelson
I know things have been kinda rough lately, Klynveldians. KPMG’s 2016 and 2017 Public Company Accounting Oversight Board inspection reports were brutally bad. The criminal trial starts today for one of your former audit partners who had a prominent role in the PCAOB inspection information-sharing scandal. The firm might lose longtime client General Electric. And […]

U.K. Accounting Regulator Chides KPMG For ‘Unacceptable’ Decline in Audit Quality
And here I thought Phil Mickelson’s meltdown on the 13th green at the U.S. Open on June 16 would be the worst thing to happen to KPMG this week. From Bloomberg: KPMG’s audit work in the U.K. is of an unacceptable standard, Britain’s accounting regulator said, fueling calls to reform the industry, including dismantling the […]
KPMG to Keep Phil Mickelson in Hats for Foreseeable Future
KPMG is standing by their golfing man. In the aftermath of the news that Phil Mickelson was named as a relief defendant in the SEC's civil lawsuit against famed gambler William "Billy" Walters and Dean Foods chairman Thomas Davis, all of Phil's corporate sponsors are hanging in there. Most notably for our purposes, KPMG issued […]
A Thing We Desperately Wish Were Real: A Photo of Phil Mickelson and Ex-KPMG Partner Scott London Yukking It Up
Texas A&M professor Mike Shaub put the idea in our heads and now we can't get it out: Waiting for the photo of Scott London and Phil Mickelson laughing at a firm event in T minus 5, 4, 3…. And it will be totally irrelevant. — Mike Shaub (@mikeshaub) May 19, 2016 Irrelevant or not, […]
Does KPMG Even Meme, Bro?
Apparently! From Fortune: As the stereotype goes, accountants are a species of professional often seen as spiritless human calculators—and not as indispensable visionaries. “‘Taxes must be boring.’ I get that all the time,” says Kirt Bocox, senior tax manager at KPMG, one of the firm’s many employees who dispute—indeed refute—that pre-conception. “People get the stereotype […]
NYT Taken to Task for Letting Cowards Almost Ruin Phil Mickelson’s Life
When the news broke that squeaky clean KPMG hero Phil Mickelson might be tied to an insider trading scandal, foamy-mouthed editors (yours truly included) went rabid over the salacious story. As it turns out, the "anonymous sources" that tipped off the Times were flat out wrong. Reuters writes: The first embarrassing trip for the Times […]
Is KPMG Secretly Worried About This Phil Mickelson Insider Trading Situation?
There is an interesting article in BloombergBusinessweek today about some of Phil Mickelson's sponsors turning their backs on him due to Phil's insider trading probe. As we already know, KPMG has expressed their utmost faith and support for Phil, saying "We have had a very strong relationship with Phil for a number of years, and […]
KPMG Plans to Stand By Their Man Phil Mickelson
Our buddy and fellow accounting enthusiast Michael Rapoport shared the good news via Wall Street Journal last night: KPMG LLP indicated Monday it continues to support golfer Phil Mickelson, with whom the accounting firm has a long-running sponsorship agreement. In a statement, KPMG said, “We have had a very strong relationship with Phil for a […]
Phil Mickelson (But Not His KPMG Blue Hat) Is Now Embroiled In a Possible Insider Trading Scandal
First the official news of a Rothstein Kass/KPMG merger hits when I'm wandering the wilderness of a Richmond Civil War POW camp on a workout last night and now this. Can you people just keep your scandals to regular work hours? YEESH. We get this from the NYT tonight: The divergent lives of a championship […]
KPMG To Keep Phil Mickelson in Blue Hats and Heavy Taxation For at Least Two More Years
Hopefully he will learn to keep his tax bitching to himself this round: KPMG LLP, the U.S. Audit, Tax and Advisory firm, today announced that it has renewed the sponsorship of 5-time Major golf champion Phil Mickelson. The global sponsorship, which originally began in 2008, will keep Mickelson in a KPMG branded hat on the […]
After His Open Victory, It Appears Phil Mickelson Is Doing Some Tax Planning at the PGA Championship
Rough start for Lefty. Bogey on 3, double on 4. +3 thru 4. Let's turn this around! — KPMG Mickelson (@MickelsonHat) August 8, 2013
Americans for Tax Reform Suggesting That Phil Mickelson May Never Play the Open Championship Again Is Stupidly Ludicrous
Yes, someone at Americans for Tax Reform actually wrote this: Over the weekend, Phil Mickelson won the Scottish Open and the Open Championship. While winning even one PGA event is a tremendous feat, Mickelson won’t be left with much to celebrate upon his return from the U.K. In his recent Forbes article, K. Sean Packard, CPA (Director […]

Somehow I Found the Source of All Bad KPMG Merch…
Don’t ask what I was doing when I “accidentally” came across this, I think I was trying to figure out why Greendotlife.com is down and took a wrong turn at the story about the guy who left KPMG six months before he was issued a brand spanking new corporate card from his former employer. The […]
KPMG CEO Will Take Some of Penn State’s Questions
KPMG CEO John Veihmeyer — Notre Dame alum, dedicated steward of an employer of choice — is on the guest list at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland this week. We don't have his itinerary in hand but it stands to reason that he'll have a hectic schedule of interviews, networking, and general CEO-y stuff on […]
What Do We Make of Phil Mickelson’s 62% Tax Rate Claim?
This morning we shared Tony Nitti's story at Forbes about walking-KPMG billboard Phil Mickelson considering "drastic changes" because he is "in that zone that has been targeted both federally and by the state and, you know, it doesn’t work for me right now." "It" being a combined tax rate that's pushing 62 or 63 percent, […]
Where Is Phil Mickelson’s KPMG Hat Taking You?
As you know, this past year living, breathing, walking billboard Phil Mickelson donned a brand new KPMG blue cap and, sensing contemporary society's completely reasonable demands, it started a Twitter account. It wasn't the most shameless of promotions since for every hat sold (YOURS FOR ONLY $29.95!), KPMG's Family for Literacy would donate three books […]
LPGA Star and Accounting Degree Holder Stacy Lewis Will Not Take KPMG’s Money To Be an Auditor
On Monday, we learned that Phil Mickelson's KPMG hat got a Twitter account. I know. Thankfully, it wasn't so much a shameless opportunity for Phil to strut around in a new lid with proper KPMG colors, as it was a shameless opportunity for Phil to strut around in a new lid with proper KPMG colors […]
Phil Mickelson’s KPMG Hat Has a Twitter Account
Long ago, KPMG gave walking billboard Phil Mickelson his own KPMG website. But that was over a year ago. Presence on the Internet these days is really not complete until one has joined the Twittersphere (and followed Going Concern, obviously). While Phil Mickelson himself doesn't appear to have an official Twitter account, his hat has jumped […]
Happy Birthday Phil Mickelson!
His Leftyness turns 41 today, as one of the favorites of the U.S. Open and of course he’ll be rocking the KPMG lid. As fans of the links know, Phil seems to come apart at the seams at the Open, not unlike certain KPMG audits. Will this year be different?
Who knows! What we do know that today is Fill’s day of birth and we send him best wishes and best of luck in the Open. Wouldn’t that be a great send off for Tim Flynn? Not that Mick needs the added pressure.
Anyway, as is (what we imagine to be) tradition for the major tournaments, T Fly and John Veihmeyer are holed up in the executive conference room watching the tournament as the rest of you are probably trying to make heads or tails of the Next Level training.
ANYWAY, leave Phil some well wishes in the comments. Don’t worry, we won’t make mention of this again, unless something hat-related occurs.
Phil Mickelson (and his KPMG Hat) Looks to Defend His Masters Title
As some of you know, the 2011 Masters kicks off today which means Phil Mickelson will attempt to defend his first KPMG major championship. PM is considered a slight favorite to win this year’s tournament (and to win a fourth sports jacket that closely resembles something that you could easily pick up at the Salvation Army).
It’s been a decent year since Phil won last year’s tournament as he landed his own KPMG website and was looking to upgrade to a new manse but apparently had to give up Five Guys.
Surprisingly that there hasn’t been an internal memo forwarded our way notifying everyone that certified Phil-KPMG caps could be worn for the next two days. Regardless, we’re sure that John Veihmeyer and Tim Flynn are holed up in the executive conference room at 345 Park, keeping tabs on Phil (he’s even after two) wearing their KPMG lids and passing chip n’ dips back and forth.
Extreme Big 4 Makeover: KPMG Edition
Yesterday we told you about Extreme Big 4 Makeover: PwC Edition. Today we’ve learned that KPMG is getting into the act, although the House of Klynveld had the sense to avoid changing their team colors to match the autumnal palette (Braddock says it reminds him of Pizza Hut).
But more on colors later. We feel that the motivation for the rebranding is likely twofold: 1) They got wind of PwC sexing themselves up and 2) They’re pissed about Dick Bové playing dumb and they’re trying to get the old girl’s attention.
Naturally, it makes the Masters Champ who, after coming of his video extravaganza on Phil Mickelson’s KPMG website, is appearing in this ad in Golf Magazine (or so we’re told, we don’t have a subscription):
In addition to His Leftness being included in the campaign (reminiscent of T. Dubs with Accenture) apparently the firm took out an ad in today’s Financial Times that rocks their new slogan, Cutting Through Complexity™:
KPMGCuttingThroughComplexityprintadvertising
Last but not least, the firm rolled out this internal Brand Book that tells you everything you don’t want to know about the rebranding including the firm’s commitment to it’s favorite hue, ” To bring our brand to life we have a refreshed visual identity and tone of voice which reinforces the essence of our brand. It builds on our current brand equity and the strong ownership we have of the color blue, while placing greater emphasis on the warmth of our wider color palette.”
One of sources already weighed in saying, “I’m so excited about the opportunities that will be generated by these HUGE changes I don’t know how I will contain myself.” We invite you to share your own thoughts on blue, Phil or whatever you think about KPMG’s new do.
Did We Mention That Phil Mickelson Has His Own KPMG Website?
No? Well, now you’ve been so advised.
With kid photos!
And if you feel so inclined, you can email him. We’re sure he’ll be reading them.
Confidential to KPMG: If Phil Mickelson Wins the PGA Championship, Don’t Send Him Omaha Steaks
[caption id="attachment_15841" align="alignright" width="260" caption="Not thinking about Five Guys...Not thinking about Five Guys...Not thinking about Five Guys"][/caption]
As we briefly mentioned this morning, KPMG Poster Boy Phil Mickelson is only about 90% for this week’s PGA Championship because he’s been suffering from psoriatic arthritis for the last two months.
While this may have hampered his game in the last couple of tournaments, there’s been a far more serious development. Phil has gone vegetarian.
We can only imagine what kind of frenzy this development this has sent the KPMG Phil-handlers into. There’s no doubt in our minds that Omaha Steaks are the go to “FTW Phil!” gift that he receives before after every tournament he wins. But now what? This veggie thing is serious.
“I know this is crazy,” he said Tuesday. “For the last two months now, I’ve been a vegetarian. Can you believe that?”
This puts Mickelson in an awkward position. Not only is he a connoisseur of all things beef, but he is part of an ownership group that has purchased the rights for Five Guys burger and fries franchises in Orange County, Calif.
“The real test is driving by a Five Guys and not stopping,” he said. “I don’t know if I can do that yet, but we’ll see.”
Since it’s only been a couple of months, we doubt that Phil has gotten over the meat sweats yet but if he happens to pull out a victory in this last major, you can expect the big guy will be dumping those Five Guys franchises ASAP.
Mickelson a Strait shooter [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]
Accounting News Roundup: Hurd Surprised HP with PR Move; Whistleblowers Should Avoid…; Rangel Won’t Have This Resignation Talk | 08.11.10
H-P Board Surprised Hurd Didn’t Go Quietly [WSJ]
H-P’s directors ‘hoped he would move on,’ said one person familiar with the situation, adding that the board prefers to focus on ‘protecting the brand and taking the higher ground.’
Mr. Hurd resigned Friday over ethics violations related to his relationship with a former H-P marketing contractor, Jodie Fisher. His exit was immediately followed by hard-hitting comments from H-P executives and a board member. Mr. Hurd left with a separation agreement that included a $12.2 million cash payment and a promise not to disparage the company or ‘induce others’ to do so.
In the days b n, according to a person familiar with the matter, Mr. Hurd hired Sitrick & Co., a Los Angeles-based firm known for handling crisis communications for high-profile individuals, including former H-P chairman Patricia Dunn and celebrity Paris Hilton.”
What Not to Do When Blowing the Whistle [FINS]
Sure you can get paid the big bucks to sing like a canary these days but are some things you might want to consider first.
Black Accountants Group Names New Leader [Afro American]
“Calvin Harris Jr., was recently elected the 24th national president and CEO of the National Association of Black Accountants (NABA). NABA, a 501 c(3) nonprofit, is the leading association for African Americans and minorities in the accounting, audit, finance, information technology, tax, and other business related fields. Harris’s two-year term began July 1.”
Wipfli LLP: Washington state-based Michael R. Bell & Company, PLLC, joins Wipfli LLP [WisBusiness]
“Effective August 1, the partners and associates of Washington state-based Michael R. Bell & Company, PLLC, joined Wipfli LLP, an international CPA firm headquartered in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Michael R. Bell & Company specializes in providing audit, accounting and consulting services to a variety of health care organizations and will become part of Wipfli’s full-service health care industry practice.”
Salesforce Customers Want Better Link to Accounting [Web CPA]
“A new survey of Salesforce.com customers found that the majority of them want to link more closely between their customer relationship management software and accounting software.
The survey, by Salesforce.com partner FinancialForce.com, found that 67 percent of those using competing packages cited a lack of integration of their current accounting software with customer relationship management software as their biggest headache.”
Rangel Says He Won’t Resign, Requests Ethics Hearing [Bloomberg]
Rangs gave a 30 minute speech yesterday to let everyone know that he’s far too old to just rollover for 13 alleged ethics violations.
Plum Benefit to Cultural Post: Tax-Free Housing [NYT]
Being a director of some of the best known museums in the world is not only lucrative (multi-million dollar salary), you can also get a pretty sweet pad – tax free!
Mickelson Has Arthritic Condition That Made Him Question His Golf Future [Bloomberg]
Rest easy T Fly, Phil says he’s back to 90% just in time for the PGA that starts tomorrow.
Attention KPMG Kampers – Phil Mickelson Needs Your Help!
We’re dispensing with QOTD today to bring you an opportunity of a lifetime. Phil’s cozy little love nest in Santa Fe, CA is up for grabs and we think it’s a grand idea for a few Klynveldians to pool their resources together to take it off his hands. It’s been on the market for two years so obviously T Fly isn’t up for it an the freshly minted honchos.
So we leave it up to you, men and women of KPMG. Get some friends together and make the man an offer. It’s currently listed at just a shade under $9 mil so it’s completely unreasonable. What you do to celebrate your new home after the close is up to you. If you’ve got suggestions for theme parties, technical accounting trainings or simply a shrine to man himself, give your best shot in the comments. But of course take a gander first….
[caption id="attachment_14359" align="aligncenter" width="560" caption="Helicopter not included"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_14362" align="aligncenter" width="560" caption="Come on in!"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_14363" align="aligncenter" width="560" caption="When he gets sick of Five Guys (rare occurrence)"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_14364" align="aligncenter" width="560" caption="The Phil is great room"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_14370" align="aligncenter" width="560" caption="Where the magic happens"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_14371" align="aligncenter" width="560" caption="Plenty of room for Tiger\'s friends"][/caption]
All photos: Redfin
Happy Birthday Phil Mickelson!
Philip Alfred Mickelson was born 40 years ago on this blessed day (shares with 2Pac!) and we’re guessing it will be a busy one for the reigning owner of the World’s Ugliest sports jacket.
We imagine he kicked things off with 40 Krispy Kremes donuts for breakfast, followed by a little prep round for this week’s U.S. Open, Five Guys for lunch, maybe another practice round and wrap it up a nice dinner with the fam.
All the while, screening calls from Tim Flynn who desperately wants to wish Phil a happy 40th, good luck on his quest for the KPMG Grand Slam and to congratulate him for the umpteenth time on his third Masters Tournament victory.
It really is a big week for Phil/KPMG, as the U.S. Open has dogged PM for his entire career and a good performance this week (i.e. anything less than a win is unacceptable) could vault him over Tiger Woods who has other problems.
So send some Happy Birthday/good luck/Father’s Day/thanks-for-wearing-our-hat-for-$3-mil-a-year wishes to Phil below or just let him know what you think his chances are.
KPMG’s Investment in Phil Mickelson Is Working Out Pretty Well, Sayeth KPMG’s Leadership
We just assumed that we had heard the last of the cubicle-side chats with KPMG’s leadership but lo and behold, this morning we find yet another convo with KPMG’s three amigos – T Fly, JVeih, Keizer Soze – sitting in the mailbag.
And yes, Phil comes up.
Okay, some thoughts –
In response to Inquisitor #1, Johnnie V. says “our goal is to make sure to not sell services into a company” but then qualifies by saying, “[Making] sure we’re bring the full suite of..services to help them deal with those issues and those problems.” In other words, there is a very fine line between hustling clients for more business and actually serving them to suit their needs.
Re: “Mid-market” – This can be summed up by saying: KPMG is having the most success winning smaller clients from the next tier firms.
And finally to the most important question – Inquisitor #3 thinks Phil is great and all but for the love of everything that is good and holy, are there any other plans to get the name out there? This Five Guys obsession has him worried.
Since Tim and Phil are BFFs, he’ll take this one…except he doesn’t say anything that really means anything. JVeih jumps in (no doubt give him the “WTF are you talking about?” look) to say that KPMG’s Mean Girls strategy is working and the firm is getting far more attention from CFOs than it was just one year ago. The rest of the Big 4 have plateaued and Phil has been instrumental in the glad-handing and back-slapping efforts.
Is It Possible That KPMG Isn’t Phil Mickelson’s Favorite Sponsor?
[caption id="attachment_10491" align="alignright" width="260" caption="Is that Five Guys?"][/caption]
We realize that the above statement will likely result in an army of KPMG lawyers threatening this here site with libel and possibly putting every single person associated with GC in mortal danger but the question needed to be asked.
At the Players Championship, the freshly jacketed Phil said the following, “I grew up on In-N-Out. I thought that was the best burger until I had Five Guys. That is hands down the best burger I’ve ever had.”
At first this may seem like an over-eager chubby man enjoying a newfound joy in life. The guy is happily married, so he’s not going to make like Tiger and bang all the Laker Girls or anything. Anyhoo, it turns out that Phil failed to mention that he hearts Five Guys so much (apparently he went there SIX DAYS IN A ROW last week) that he dropped some coin into the franchise.
Fellow duffer Stewart Cink caught wind of Mick’s little endorsement of FG and took it upon himself to let the cat out of the bag:
We don’t watch a lot of golf but we do know that Phil pulls some decent scratch putting those four squares on his head. And we’ve never heard him say a single word about the kick ass professional services put forth by all you Klynveldians out there.
Of course this doesn’t really mean anything, Phil could have a special place in his heart saved just for KPMG but he’s just not able to verbalize it. That’s probably what it is.
Compensation Watch ’10: GT Reassures Merit Increases, Jury Out on Bonuses
On Friday, Grant Thornton had a firm wide call to discuss several things including layoffs, compensation, and grab-bag questions.
Headcount Reductions – Steve-o believes that the worst is over and that “restructuring efforts are substantially behind us.” If there happens to be additional “headcount transitions” it will be to refine operations or part of the no He went on to say that the people that are GTers now will, “in very large part,” remain GTers. So can we assume the action in Cleveland and Chicago was the last of it?
Compensation: GT seems is making big push towards a “pay for performance” model for its employees which means compensation adjustments will focus on top performers (“5s” in GT world) and market based adjustments (i.e. keeping up the Joneses) won’t be happening. SC cited a downward trend of salaries in the accounting profession based on a survey that GT does with Mercer (sounds convenient) for the phasing out of market adjustments. He said there might be some exceptions to this.
The size of the merit adjustments have not yet been determined because it all depends on how well 1) GT performs through the end of the year and 2) individual performance. Chip said that enough people were belly aching about the old adjustment system that a change was warranted. This will be implemented slightly for this fiscal year (can’t get all Darwin about it 3/4 of the way through the fiscal year) and will be the main methods for next year and going forward.
Bonuses: SC cleared this whole issue up saying that it has not been determined if bonuses will be paid this year. It all depends no the firm’s performance in the final quarter of the fiscal year. He did say that he’s pre-tay, pre-tay, pre-tay optimistic about the firm “being in a position to pay bonuses” but they’re still crunching the numbers so there’s no telling if it will be a mini-windfall, pocket change, or a set of steak knives.
Not to worry though, as the top performers will certainly get something if everything goes well at the firm overall.
This “new” focus on pay for performance seems kind of familiar since all the firms assign rankings to employees (with their own bizarro methodologies) and are paid accordingly. It makes you wonder if those that fall in the meaty part of the GT curve will get such a small adjustment that it will be another twist on the forced ranking trend amongst accounting firms.
Steve-o then shared his general optimism about the direction of the economy and what it means for the firm, a few recent client wins, yada yada yada. He also updated everyone with some very vague details on the firm’s new strategy “Unleashing Our Potential” that will be rolling out in the next fiscal year. Basically all non-partners will have the chance to drop their $0.02 on this strategeroy very soon but other than that we couldn’t tell if the new strategy involved a lunar landing or full-scale assault on financial reporting fraud.
Last but perhaps most importantly, Steve-o admitted to enjoying the Masters very much, however he was quite clear that he was less than thrilled to see KPMG on Phil’s lid. We’re sure it’s nothing personal against Phil but those may be fightin’ words directed straight at Johnny V.
What Are People Saying About Phil Mickelson’s 1st KPMG Masters Victory?
Phil Mickelson earned his third green jacket and Masters championship this weekend, his first major win since striking a sponsorship with KPMG’s hat department.
I took to the online streets of Twitter to see what people were saying about Phil’s win for the KPMG Kamp.
I’ll start off with the legal…
@seanmg: Everytime I looked at Phil Mickelson today I saw that KPMG hat and all I could think of was illegal tax shelters.
…the official…
@KPMG: Phil Mickelson wins his third career Masters title wearing his KPMG cap! http://www.pgatour.com/
@KPMGRecruitment: Congratulations to KPMG-sponsored Phil Mickelson – US Masters Golf Champion 2010!
@RandyWGilbert: Being both a lefty and a KPMG’er it was great to see Phil slip on yet another Green Jacket! http://bit.ly/bx5Oq5
…to the sarcastic…
@chris_reynolds: I felt like the KPMG hat really put Phil over the top.
@synergytim: Does KPMG sponsor Phil Mickelson because of his initials?
…to the giddy excited…
@rychlewc: And Phil wins it! Go KPMG!
@CaseyCope: Oh Phil. You’re our finest investment ever. We’re proud of you, buddy! #KPMG
@Csolo_wvu_reds: Congrats to Phil Mickelson, the people’s champ, straight reppin KPMG all day…
…to the utterly confused.
@milktrader: What does KPMG on Phil’s hat stand for? A sports drink?
@bthogan80: @darrenrovell1 any idea what KPMG pays for phil’s hat?
@andrea_eagleman: Way to go, Phil. Side note – KPMG reallllly needs an updated logo.
What are your thoughts on Phil’s win for KPMG? Discuss.
KPMG – Masters of Thursday’s PR Powerhouses
Forget the fact that what’s-her-name can’t hit the links, let alone join the Old Man’s Club that is Augusta; this weekend is all about Tiger Woods and, if you’re from the KPMG Kamp, Phil Mickelson. Not a resident of the KPMG Kamp is Chris Rock:
Don’t get me wrong – I love Phil, and so should you. What’s not to love? Big goofy smile, overweight just enough to make the average golfer feels connected to the lovable pork chop of an athlete. And he’s left handed, so you just know the world is out to get Golf’s Favorite Underdog. Golf and chainsaws, a lefty’s biggest fears.
But I digress. Back to Uncle Peat.
Phil currently sits tied atop the leader board at five under par, tied with three others. But who cares about those knicker-wearing chumps?! UNCLE PEAT IS IN FIRST PLACE!!!
Us regular peons can only imagine the jubilation amongst KPMG leadership in attendance this weekend. T-Fly and The New Guy back slapping each other and clients-to-be. But are they nervous? After all, Phil is much like KPMG – always the hopeful underdog, their supporters praying that their fearless leaders don’t slice it and end up in the rough (or court). There are rough patches in every round, but coming out ahead of the game is key, is it not?
Hopefully the Philster can keep himself and his catchy hat on top of the leader board going into the weekend. For the tax crew out there, you can follow your favorite Tiger Slayer’s weekend rounds live on Masters.com. Hopefully streaming video isn’t blocked by the Kamp Kounselors.
KPMG Gets a Less Than Desirable Photo Op
This month students around the world have been celebrating spring break. That usually means one thing – young people get cop-slugging drunk and maybe, if you’re really unlucky ruin your chances of employment.
The Daily Mail reports that 5,000 British students descended upon the seaside Spanish town of Salou, getting over-served, running around in their birthday suits and pissing off the townies. The gem above is one of several photos that accompanies the article.
The tipster that sent us the link wondered if Phil Mickelson would approve of this. Other than the obvious, “OH HELL NO!” We think Mick’s response would be something to the effect of, “Those little bastards are lucky they aren’t wearing my hat otherwise I’d rearrange their face with my LW.” But forget Lefty for two; now that Tim Flynn is focusing his efforts on being the international chair of KPMG this is the type of crap that causes T Fly to grit his teeth into dust.
“Saloufest” is described as a “sporting event” so maybe these shirts/jerseys are KPMG giveaways and no one is in danger of poorly representing the House of Klynveld. That being said, this probably isn’t what TF and Co. had in mind when they slapped the four squares on a shirt. Btw, if you’ve happen to have some extras, get in touch.
KPMG Knows You’re Feeling Like a Fatty
Yes. You. Spending day after day at that desk, consuming a steady diet of red meat, bagels loaded with cream cheese that is going straight to your [insert problem area] and, of course, caffeine. Sweet, sweet caffeine.
It all adds up to a bunch of tubby Klynveldians, and tubby = not happy. This is not lost on the leadership at KPMG. They want you to know that they want to help you lose that paunch ASAP and they are prepared to offer you a human being to assist you.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one-third of American adults are overweight, and many people are actively seeking a solution for weight loss. Losing weight isn’t just about looking better in the mirror—being overweight can contribute to a range of health issues, including heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, and even certain types of cancers.
Lots of us have tried to lose weight, but find ourselves giving up because it can be tough to do. But what if you had your own weight-loss coach, someone who could provide personalized guidance about nutrition and exercise, and provide strategies geared toward your specific situation? What if you could call that coach as many times as you wanted over a six-month period, when you had a question or needed some encouragement?
You can have just that, at no cost to you, thanks to KPMG and LifeWorks through the iCanChange program. iCanChange gives you access to a dedicated, experienced and credentialed health coach who will help you identify goals, strengths, challenges, and strategies for managing your weight.
You will be able to receive four scheduled calls from your coach, and you can call him/her as many times as you would like over a six-month period. Your coach will help you track your progress and set realistic goals to lead you along the road toward losing weight.
So, just who exactly is KPMG recruiting to help these numbers nerds get back in fighting shape? Richard Simmons? Chuck Liddel? Phil Mickelson?
Assuming this doesn’t have to wait until after busy season you best get crackin’ in case Radio City announces its own Canadian Tuxedo reprieve. Fat guy in a little denim coat is not a good look.
Quote of the Day: Somewhere Phil Mickelson Is Doing a Fist Pump | 02.19.10
“I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don’t know when that day will be.”
~ Tiger Woods
Alexandre Bilodeau Is KPMG Canada’s Phil Mickelson
When our Olympic Fever started last weekend, we had no idea what would happen. Sure there would be torches, majesty and endless montages but if you had told us that we would discover that KPMG has got dibs on a marketing dynamo like Alexandre Bilodeau, we would have said NFW.
AB was the first gold medalist for Canada in the Vancouver games. He won the Freestyle Men Ski competition on Sunday and now he’s got people just throwing money at him.
However, Al has had KPMG as a sponsor since 2006 (longer than Phil!) when he competed in Turin, Italy (the old man is a tax partner). All these new companies that want a piece of Golden Boy are going to have to get behind T Fly and Co. because Al strikes as a loyal guy.
KPMG Canada nailed this one. This dude is young, handsome, and doesn’t have to worry about a slimeball rival returning to steal the thunder. Now if he could only win the U.S. Open…
The Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For: KPMG #88
Last, but definitely not least, on the F100BCTWR is the House of Klynveld. We figure that if you judged the HoK based solely on the fact that it sponsors a golfer who can manage to keeps his pants on for five minutes, they dominate this list. Unfortch, Fortune takes additional variables into account out of respect for the process.
KPMG – Previously ranked #56. It’s great because, “[The] firm introduced a sabbatical program allowing employees to take leaves of four to 12 weeks at 20% of pay. Some 450 employees immediately signed up for it. Employees average 25 paid days off.” Thoughts?
Other interesting stats per the snapshot:
• New Jobs (1 year): -1,581
• % Job Growth (1 year): -7%
• % Voluntary Turnover: 12%
• No. of Job Openings at 1/13/2010: 2,700
• Most common salaried job: Senior Associate with average salary of $78,100
So the numbers aren’t so hot compared to others. Not to worry though! TF is out there rallying the troops even jumping across the Hudson every now and again just to check on everybody. What more could you ask for?
Earlier:
Ernst & Young #44
Plante & Moran #66
Deloitte #70
PwC #71
KPMG Has to Be Pretty Happy with the Golfer They Chose to Sponsor
As we mentioned yesterday, Accenture is on the hunt for a new poster boy. While we speculated that poaching Phil from the House of Klynveld as a possibility for Accenture it’s more likely that the spotlight will be falling on Mickelson and his KPMG cap (black or white, depending on the mood).
Although Phil won’t be dancing on Tiger’s grave, Tim Flynn may have been quietly making the rounds at 345 Park high fiving anyone and everyone at work on the Monday after Tiger’s crash.
If you’ve got any thoughts on how TF celebrated (sweater vests for everyone!) discuss in the comments.
Who Will Replace Tiger Woods at Accenture?
The possibilities are endless:
• Will they poach Phil* from KPMG?
• What about Natalie from RSM?
• Do they go in a different direction altogether and pick up Chuck Liddell?
• Becks?
T. Dubs’ tendency to screw anything with a pulse looks like it will benefit someone handsomely. Accenture can’t afford to go too long without a shill.
Let’s help them out. Vote below and discuss. Oh, and if the mood strikes you, throw a caption on this pic. You’ve go to wonder which trollop TW’s got on the brain wearing a grin like that.
*Over Tim Flynn’s dead body
This Would Never Happen to Phil Mickelson*
*Although that sweater vest might be a nice gift for TF.
Will PwC and KPMG Reconsider Canceling Their Holiday Parties?
Doubtful! But with the news of sugarplums dancing in some Big 4 heads, we got to wondering if any of the offices of KPMG and PwC might reconsider the firm-wide kibosh on the Holiday jamma-lamma-ding-dong.
Maybe this would be a coup d’état of the highest order but we’ve heard of offices going rogue in the past, so it’s worth mentioning.
Perhaps we’re expecting too much but it seems possible that partners in your local offices could rally the troops by pooling together some of their own cash and springing for cheese trays a few kegs of Beast.
Partners, you wouldn’t necessarily have to let anyone use the bathroom (especially the new associates, we know how they overdo it). You could set up Rent-A-Johns in the driveway.
Because as it stands right now, it appears that Bob Moritz will only be handing out fresh undies, and Tim Flynn will argue that the Phil Mickelson sponsorship is the gift that keeps on giving. That may fly with some but certainly not all. Discuss your hopes for an eleventh hour fiesta in the comments.
Your 2009 Halloween Costume: Zombie Phil Mickelson
It’s only three days until Halloween and most of you are probably procrastinating on costume ideas. Fortunately we’ve come up with an idea that will incorporate your profession/firm and maybe your love of golf.
Inspiring examples, after the jump
You can go black:
Or white:
Small problem: The only place that we’ve been able to find a KPMG golf hat is on eBay and the auction doesn’t end for four days. Good news is that’s going for grand total of $0.01. So if you don’t already own one of these beauties, it’ll have to wait until next year.
Phil Provides the Morale Boost All You KPMGers Needed
Unless you hate golf and then you probably don’t give a damn.
Phil Mickelson may have turned his year around as the walking billboard for KPMG. Fill came from behind to win the Tour Championship yesterday, winning by three strokes over some no name. Apparently the Tour Championship is a big tournament so Fill/Phil* should feel good. You ALL should.
This will require a serious reassessment of Phil’s prior rating that we gave him last month after the PGA Championship.
We need your input on how to rank everyone’s second favorite golfer to be sponsored by an accounting firm. Give us your expert analysis in the comments on the impressive win and if you’re good, we’ll throw a 9-box out there at some point.
*Do we need to vote on this? This seems like a polarizing debate. Discuss.
Firms Sponsoring Golfers – An Analysis
Accounting firms don’t do much advertising. It’s got something to do with ethics and since the CPA exam is ancient history for some we can’t talk specifics.
Firms do like to sponsor stuff related to golf. Tournaments, players, etc. One recipient of accounting firm cash has been widely followed here but now we recently discovered another firm sponsoree that, we feel, may rouse as loyal of a following as Phil.
This is Natalie Gulbis who is sponsored by RSM McGladrey.
Natalie works with RSM in partnering with the Special Olympics Golf Program and will be a contributor to RSM’s new golf blog.
We’re not really into golf so we can’t really debate who has a better game or who garners better exposure for their sponsor so, after the jump, we’ve presented a more superficial analysis:
We admit that we know nothing about promotion or advertising but if you’ve got opinions on which firm seems to have found the better golfer to sponsor, discuss in the comments.
Fill to be Part of a RIF at the PGA?
Continuing our coverage of Fill’s quest to not finish second in the PGA Championship, our hero has finished up his second round and he shot another round of +2. That puts him at +4 for the tournament and in serious danger of missing the cut and possibly being included in the rumored upcoming reduction in force.
Check out the latest 9 box, after the jump
Fill, this is going to be a difficult conversation. Obviously this isn’t where we’d like to see you. We had high expectations for you. Maybe too high. We have to make a lot of hard choices when there are so many talented people out there. Fill, we don’t want you to wear the Radio Station hat any more.
While there are several hackers out there the projected cut is currently at +2, so we don’t like the chances of seeing the Radio Station hat on the weekend. Got anything you want to say Fill? Tell us in the comments.
Phil Mickelson Gets 9 Boxed
We’re upping our coverage of Phil Fill Mickelson’s quest to not come in second place at this year’s PGA Championship.
In the spirit of performance review season, we thought we’d see where Phil Fill would fall on the illustrious Radio Station 9 box.
See the initial ranking, after the jump
As you can see, Phil Fill is right where he needs to be. We’d like to see him step up his game and shoot for that EP though. Right now we hear that he’s +1 at the turn for his first round. We’ll update you tomorrow morning with his first round results and his updated ranking.
Feel free to approve or disapprove of the current rating and give us your suggestions about where you think Phil Fill should be.
KPMG Takes Phil Mickelson FTW
Because we’re big fans of shameless promotion, we’re starting our coverage of the quest of the Radio Station’s walking billboard, Phil Mickelson, to win the PGA Championship. He’s teeing off circa now, so drop what you’re doing and get to at TV Radio Station duffer geeks.
Phil won the tournament back in 2005 but gets lots of attention for being a bridesmaid at the U.S. Open five times. Most notably for our purposes, he has not won any majors since he signed with the Radio Station back in early 2008.
No word on where Phil is falling on the 9 box rating system or if his visions of sugar plums have been dashed but if someone could put us in touch with his performance counselor or get us a copy of his contract with KPMG, that would be great.