• Finally, something we can agree on [A Whole Lotta Nothing]
• California To Stop Issuing IOUs As Budget Stabilizes – FTW Arnie. [NPR]
• PwC, do you have some Colonial Bank sins to confess? [JDA]
• UBS tax deal forged in sweat-drenched talks: source Morons should’ve known the a/c was going to get turned off. Chocolate probably melted too. [Reuters]
• Rick Pitino Not Coming to Samford Law – Nope. He’s being extorted by a woman who he paid $3k to have an abortion. [ATL]
- Apparently Shouting “Promote Me! Promote Me!” in a Partner’s Face Can Get You Promoted at Deloitte
- Monday Morning Accounting News Brief: You Can’t Spell Audit Without AI; An Elaborate Scheme to Defraud the Air Force | 4.6.26
- Friday Footnotes: EY Tells Tax to Get Back in the Office; Associates Are Vibe Coding Now | 4.3.26
Deloitte is Baiting the New Hires
On a day like today, we never thought we’d be telling you about a firm actually spending money but color us surprised.
Deloitte will start issuing iPhones to partners, principals, and directors starting Monday, according to a tip we received and will be available to “eligible personnel on Monday, September 14.”
So the obvious question is who the hell is eligible? The trend seems that senior associates haven’t been getting squat so our money would be on the new hires getting the new toys gadgets business tools in order to write down everyone’s order for take out but we’ll keep our fingers crossed for you SA’s.
Ernst & Young Ups the Ante

Guest 46 @7:17 makes a good point and wants everyone to get some perspective on a firm’s priorities. Don’t even think for ONE SECOND that your office is thrifty stingy until they axe a corporate volunteering event because it conflicts with the FSO All Hands Webcast*.
More, after the jump
Uncle Ern would like you to forget about these difficult times by staying within the confines of your cube farm and getting down with a mandatory webcast because there are plenty of people without jobs out there that could volunteer instead.
The Radio Station takes a slight different approach, clearly thinking that if everyone sacrifices one night of open bar to help others, the joy you feel will certainly beat puking and then passing out in the bathroom at some hotel.
So now the debate looms: what firm currently wins the award for the best example of a company channeling its inner-George Costanza: E&Y or the Radio Station? Discuss in the comments and if you’ve got additional examples to bolster the case for/against your firm, please share.
*That’s the word we got from E&Y, so if someone can elaborate on just what the hell that is, that’d be great.
KPMG Takes Phil Mickelson FTW
Because we’re big fans of shameless promotion, we’re starting our coverage of the quest of the Radio Station’s walking billboard, Phil Mickelson, to win the PGA Championship. He’s teeing off circa now, so drop what you’re doing and get to at TV Radio Station duffer geeks.
Phil won the tournament back in 2005 but gets lots of attention for being a bridesmaid at the U.S. Open five times. Most notably for our purposes, he has not won any majors since he signed with the Radio Station back in early 2008.
No word on where Phil is falling on the 9 box rating system or if his visions of sugar plums have been dashed but if someone could put us in touch with his performance counselor or get us a copy of his contract with KPMG, that would be great.
Bean Counter Reputations Hit a New Low
A woman who was a CFO for a charity that invested with Bernie is claiming, in a book of course, that she not only had all her personal money invested with him that went poof but that she was also bumping uglies with the Master Ponz. Supposedly there will be pictures which obviously begs several questions. Check out Dealbreaker for the debate.
Sleeping with the enemy is certainly a new low for bean counters. She could’ve done us all a favor and gotten down with Dick Cheney and it wouldn’t look nearly as bad.
Madoff Had Affair With Ex-Hadassah Finance Chief, Her Book Says [Bloomberg]
KPMG Incommunicado?
We’re getting mixed reports on the email going out to Radio Station employees about canceling the one thing to look forward to in the month of December.
We heard the email got sent out to some offices in the West but also that New York hasn’t heard a peep so we’re getting suspicious if the big dogs in NY are reconsidering their Grinchiness.
Let us know whether or not your visions of sugar plums have been dashed or not in the comments.
Do You See What Happens?
The PCAOB was kind enough to issue a couple of examples this week of what happens when you don’t take your role as auditor seriously.
We wouldn’t dream of putting them both in one post so we’ll give you one in the morning to ponder and save the second for later right about the time you’re ready to flip out, so hang in there.
We’ve also done you the courtesy of reading (sort of) both of the orders so that you can remain fully chargeable (not counting the time you take to read this post of course):
Thomas Linden was a partner in the Chicago office of Deloitte and lead engagement partner on Navistar Financial Corporation (NFC). At the 11th hour, prior to filing the fiscal year 2003 10-K, the engagement team realized that assets, revenues, and net profits were overstated by $19.7 million.
Check out the rest, after the jump
Having a typical over-confident management team, NFC had already taken the liberty of announcing the fourth quarter earnings prior to filing the 10-K.
Because Tom Linden was a Big 4 Partner and thus impervious to any challenge he encounterd, he took the following action (all our emphasis):
• Initiated an increase of approximately 50 percent in Deloitte’s planned tolerance for misstatements in NFC’s reported financial results
• Authored, with the assistance of a member of the NFC engagement team, an NFC auditwork paper that inaccurately characterized the reasons for and circumstances surrounding the increase
• Failed to evaluate adequately the risk that NIC’s financial statements were materially misstated due to error or fraud
• Otherwise failed to act with the requisite due professional care and professional skepticism
Okay, so the last two are boring but the first two kinda, sorta give us this impression of what happened:
Dude finds out the numbers are bunk, client isn’t cool with telling their analysts (who NFC told that they had a kick ass quarter) that said numbers are bunk, so Dude up and decides to ABBACADABRA make the tolerance for misstatement 50% higher than it was for the entire audit (read: that’s a lot).
Then, after probably putting the proverbial (or possibly literal) gun to head of the “member of the NFC engagement team”, they wrote a workpaper that supposedly explained why the tolerance was all of sudden 50% higher but the rationale was something to the effect of “because we said so”.
So for all that tomfoolery (snap!), Linden gets fined $75,000 and can’t be associated with a registered accounting firm for two years and which point he can petition to be to be reinstated. Yow-za. To better times, Tom.
ORDER MAKING FINDINGS AND IMPOSING SANCTIONS In the Matter of Thomas J. Linden, CPA, Respondent. [PCAOB]
Gentlemen, Your Life is Now Complete
Apparently some suit had their headphones ripped out of their ears that caused their iPod to go flying one too many times because Thomas Pink is now presenting the commuter tie for your mp3 device.
Maintaining a stoic demeanor regardless of the circumstances thrown at you on your commute is crucial for any straphanger. The new commuter tie will now guarantee that you’ll be able to listen to Shakira uninterrupted while maintaining your Blue Steel that puts the rest of your fellow commuters to back the F off because I have headphones in and must be respected.
Rumor of the Morning: No raises for SA’s at Deloitte
Big D is the now officially in the toilet frozen pay camp, as we have received a tip that senior associates in the Northeast region will not receive raises this year. On the less-bleak side, B. Salz and his fellow partners are doling out bonuses out of 2.2% pool which will probably amount to barely enough to pay for one night of your now three day drinking binge.
Rumor is that the disappointing word for associates should come down tomorrow but if you’ve got the scoop for us early or have more details on the cold news let us know at tips@goingconcern.com.
Preliminary Analytics | 08.13.09
• Retail Sales Dipped in July Despite Clunkers Program – “U.S. retail sales unexpectedly fell in July despite the debut of the government’s ‘cash for clunkers’ program meant to jump-start the auto business and help turn around the economy.” [WSJ]
• France and Germany exit recession – FTW. [BBC]
• U.S. Initial Jobless Claims Increased to 558,000 Last Week – “Applications rose to 558,000 in the week ended Aug. 8 from a revised 554,000 the week before, the Labor Department said today in Washington, while staying under 600,000 for a sixth time. ” Under 600k? Does that mean the recession is over? [Bloomberg]
• Cheney Uncloaks His Frustration With Bush “[Bush] showed an independence that Cheney didn’t see coming.” [Washington Post]
• Ex-AIG CEO, others to pay $115 million to settle lawsuit: source – Tough month for Hanky [Reuters]
• UBS shares climb further on U.S. tax case deal – Closure helps. [Reuters]
Review Comments | 08.12.09
• Fed Suggests Economy Is Stabilizing – “U.S. Federal Reserve officials on Wednesday left official interest rates near zero but suggested the economy is on more stable ground, more confirmation that the severe recession is either already over or will be very soon.” Does anyone know if this really means anything? Are we stabilizing in crappiness? [WSJ]
• Save This Store – A case for big bonuses. [Floyd Norris/NYT]
• Colonial: No 2Q report due to irregularities – FTW guys. [AP via Miami Herald]
• Simplifed Reporting: Forgotten in the Crisis? – An advisory group gave the SEC a 170 page report to recommend how to simplify accounting rules. Anyone see a problem here? [CFO]
• Presented Without Comment: Ragnar Danneskjöld Lives? Damn Swedes. [DB]
• Rivkah, an Israeli woman, paid $32K to fly her dog, Orchuk, in business class from Paris to Tel Aviv – ‘He is my child, not a dog. And he deserves the best.’ Appears reasonable. [NYDN]
Thank God There’s a Facebook Specifically for Accountants Now
Social networking has reached new heights people. Now there’s a professional networking site that is specifically for “accountants, lawyers, and lenders”. HubStreet.com allows you to network professionally without that guy in IT trying to add you as connection because god, he’s such a geek.
No, HubStreet is here to make sure that those lesser beings out there can’t impose upon you in the virtual networking universe because you must enter your license number to even be allowed to register with the site*.
Get more details on this new method of wasting time at work, after the jump
HubStreet also claims “Take the Work Out of Networking” because God forbid you talk to anyone face to face or leave your home or office to meet other people. Or actually call them on the phone. THE HORROR.
HubStreet just finds people that thinks you’ll interact well with professionally and puts you in contact with them. Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be any sort of physical attraction widget implemented yet so you will probably most certainly continue to fail hooking up with your chosen “connections”.
Accounting Social Network Launches [Web CPA]
*Okay, not really
