Yesterday we had all but given up on Fill. At +4, he was in serious danger of missing the cut. Well, the golf gods obviously felt that Fill deserved to spend his weekend working (along with many of you, we’re guessing) as the cut fell right at +4 and Fill gets to keep playing.
Now some might call that luck, we’d call it…well, luck. Nevertheless, we’ll continue to follow Fill’s progress in Lake Wobegon or wherever this thing is being played.
He’s already +2 for his round today after nine holes so he better get his act together on the back nine or he’ll be doomed to the NI9 slot and he’ll most certainly be part of next week’s RIF (which we heard started yesterday in NYC and Dallas).
So keep up with us as we track Fill this weekend, we’ll have his latest 9 box update later today after he finishes up.
- Apparently Shouting “Promote Me! Promote Me!” in a Partner’s Face Can Get You Promoted at Deloitte
- Monday Morning Accounting News Brief: You Can’t Spell Audit Without AI; An Elaborate Scheme to Defraud the Air Force | 4.6.26
- Friday Footnotes: EY Tells Tax to Get Back in the Office; Associates Are Vibe Coding Now | 4.3.26
Review Comments | 08.14.09
• Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and join our group on Facebook!
• It’s Official…Accountants are Normal – This woman is looking for an accountant. This could be you. Okay, probably not. [Accounting Nation]
• Postal Clerk Admits $600,000 Stamp Theft – Beats the hell out of using an AK on the co-workers isn’t it? [WP]
• Madoff Feeder Will Auction Assets “Tremont Group Holdings Inc., which lost more than $3 billion in client assets through investments with Ponzi mastermind Bernard Madoff, has reached a deal to auction off the bulk of its remaining hedge-fund assets.” [WSJ]
• RIP, Colonial Bank, and good luck BB&T [JDA]
• Auditor Independence: Will “Crisis” Cause Compromise? [Re: The Auditors]
KPMG UK’s Sweet New JPM Gig
Nothing like a good (alleged) fraud story to finish up our week, eh?
Just in case you missed the story, it appears as though KPMG UK will be a tad busy in the near term trying to unravel this little mess. I suppose that’s good news for the kids working those 4 day work weeks across the pond, though the same cannot be said for JPM, who is facing an unlimited fine as a result.
UK’s Daily Mail:
More, after the jump
The FSA has called in a top firm of accountants to examine the bank’s London activities after evidence emerged that JP Morgan had mixed customers’ funds with its own.
Banks are meant to maintain a strict segregation of their own money from that which is held on behalf of clients.
But JP Morgan managers in London discovered last month that client and bank money used for trading futures and options – a way of speculating on movements in currencies, share prices and commodities – had apparently been put into a single pool.
This isn’t the first time regulatory authorities have busted firms for pooling client money and using it to play craps in the market but it is certainly the first time the FSA has gone after a big player like JP Morgan.
JP Morgan claims an “operational error” in their options and futures arm dating as far back as 2002 caused the “mix-up” though we aren’t sure we buy that line. “We identified an operational error that was corrected within 24 hours of its discovery. No clients have lost money as a result of this error and we are cooperating fully with the FSA,” a spokeswoman for the bank said.
Sure, okay. Just because no clients lost any money doesn’t make it legal. It’s now up to KPMG to slog through 7 years of transactions (at JPM’s expense) to see if any clients missed out on interest due as a result. Prelim findings are due to the FSA by the end of August, with a final report expected in September.
Have fun, KPMG UK!
Accenture, Feeling Left Out, Gets Our Attention
Since Andersen went the way of the dodo almost ten years ago, Accenture has been moseying along just doing whatever it is they do. They’ve done a pretty decent job of getting people to forget that they were once part of the Big 5 4.
Since we’re pretty sure there are plenty of you out there that have friends, former colleagues, sworn enemies, and booty calls at Accenture we thought we’d pass along that they are rumored to be getting into the pay freezing spirit.
Get some details, after the jump
Apparently an email went out today stating that “Most individuals will not receive an increase in base pay.” But if you’re one of the lucky few getting a promotion you’ve got a shred of hope, “People being promoted will receive an increase in base pay only if they are below the minimum salary range for their new career level.” Awesome.
This seems very curious because at least Accenture’s super star golfer sponsoree is playing well while someone else is screwing the pooch and risking a RIF.
So if you know some Accenturites pass this along and see if they know just WTF is going on in the Haunted House of Andersen. If you ARE an Accenturite, get us the info on this whole sitch at tips@goingconcern.com. Their PR has apparently checked out for the weekend already and we’re not probably going to hear anything until Monday but we’ll update accordingly.
Fill to be Part of a RIF at the PGA?
Continuing our coverage of Fill’s quest to not finish second in the PGA Championship, our hero has finished up his second round and he shot another round of +2. That puts him at +4 for the tournament and in serious danger of missing the cut and possibly being included in the rumored upcoming reduction in force.
Check out the latest 9 box, after the jump

Fill, this is going to be a difficult conversation. Obviously this isn’t where we’d like to see you. We had high expectations for you. Maybe too high. We have to make a lot of hard choices when there are so many talented people out there. Fill, we don’t want you to wear the Radio Station hat any more.
While there are several hackers out there the projected cut is currently at +2, so we don’t like the chances of seeing the Radio Station hat on the weekend. Got anything you want to say Fill? Tell us in the comments.
Hammer Wants Everyone to Know That the IRS Can’t Touch This
Why on Earth would someone like MC Hammer have to go and make reassuring claims about his financial situation? The fact that the IRS is hassling him with an illegit, illegit to quit, tax lien has us completely nonplussed (is that the right word?). The man is the poster child for rag to riches to completely over-leveraged riches to bankruptcy to mediocre comeback celebrity.
More on HammerTime’s trubs, after the jump
Hammer is all bent out of shape over a lien that the IRS slapped on him last month for $625k that is related to some damn thing 15 years ago. Right about the time when he was working really hard at going bankrupt.
HammerTime would also like everyone to know that along with a hit TV show, he is a very successful Twitterer with over 1 million followers, so obviously this whole tax lien is a huge misunderstanding because everyone knows that 1 follower on Twitter = $1 in the bank. So if the IRS could just drop it, that’d be great. Thanks.
MC Hammer Raps IRS over Tax Debts [Web CPA]
It’s Hard Convincing People to Use Lame Internal Social Networking Sites
We’ve covered the whole social networking thing on a couple of different occasions, including the new kid on the block, HubStreet, which will allow you to keep yourselves isolated from the bottom feeders in your professional social scene (at least virtually).
A reader who was a former Green-dotter informed us about that firm’s attempt to develop an internal social network known as Dstreet. This was clearly a priority within the Firm, according to our source:
More, after the jump
When I was wrapping up my sentence there, they were trying to get everyone to join up to their internal social networking site – Dstreet. As if that is what we wanted to do after working there 12 hours. After I got my third email asking me to update my profile for my promotion to manager (I hadn’t even set up a page yet and already I have to update it!), I set up a joke profile complete with picture of myself with huge 80s hair…I told people about it at my going away party and no one had seen it (it had been posted for 2 months)…complete waste of time!!
Apparently the Big 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are hell bent on trying to re-invent the Facebook-wheel because to our knowledge, all the firms have some form of an internal social networking site it sounds like they all suck.
At the very least, we would suggest that status updates be allowed so that all your connections can get real time updates on how close you are to quitting for the umpteenth time.
If your firm is failing miserably at developing an internal social network or has developed anything else that seems to be of little use, let us know in the comments.
Rumor of the Day: KPMG Layoffs in Dallas Next Week
As if you didn’t need another excuse to go on a three day bender, we received a tip that audit professionals will be getting laid off at the Dallas Radio Station next Tuesday, the 18th. Tax professionals will get their turn in September, most likely after the filing deadline.
Word is that no one level is safe as the cuts will be made at all levels including partners.
KPMG did not immediately respond to our request for declined to comment.
If you’ve got more information on the sitch or you’ve heard similar rumors for other offices, drop us a line at tips@goingconcern.com.
E&Y SoCal Intern Offers: Don’t Spend it All in One Place
It may still be a little early for the citizens of Arnie, especially if you’ve got the Friday morning cocktail flu, but whatevs. We got word that E&Y audit interns have gotten their offers nationwide and Whale’s Vagina San Diego and L.A. are both getting $50k, no bonus. If you got a Masters, you’re getting $52k, no bonus (seems worth it now, eh?). No word on tax or advisory, so if you know these, fill us in.
Last year’s lucky little Ernies got a bonus so at the very least, that makes for a smidge of animosity. For all the love we’ve been giving Ern we haven’t got a lot of specifics on the actual details. Discuss in the comments or drop us the numbers at tips@goingconcern.com
Phil Mickelson 9 Box Update
Fill had a less than ideal first round, shooting +2, which is seven shots behind the leader. On the one hand, he’s well on his way to not winning the tournament. On the other, he’s well on his way to not finishing second.
Check our initial rating if you need to get caught up.
So after not considering a hell of a lot, we’ve come up with Fill’s new ranking:
Check out where the Radio Station billboard falls, after the jump

As you can see, Fill has dropped from the relative safety of SP5 to the less than acceptable position in NI7. He teed off at 9:35 EDT so Radio Station employees can waste their entire Friday watching Fill try to step it up.
Discuss the current ranking in the comments and if by chance you’re at the tournament following Fill, let him know that Going Concern (and Tim Flynn) would like to see more out of him today.
Preliminary Analytics | 08.14.09
• Obama Considers Raising Fees on Larger Financial Institutions – In other news, the President giving consideration to anything appears to be news. [Bloomberg]
• Tax-Cheat Showdown: Fess Up or Stay Quiet? – The Journal seems to think that playing Russian roulette with the IRS is an option worth considering. [WSJ]
• Blackstone’s Schwarzman Tops Best-Paid Chiefs With $702 Million – In case you were wondering, it was only $2.3 mil in actual comp and $700 mil in vested options. Not too shab. [Bloomberg]
• Bernie Madoff’s biz partner Frank DiPascali beats drug and gun raps – Man. Dude would have been in some real trouble had this gotten slapped on him too. [NYDN]
Phil Mickelson Gets 9 Boxed
We’re upping our coverage of Phil Fill Mickelson’s quest to not come in second place at this year’s PGA Championship.
In the spirit of performance review season, we thought we’d see where Phil Fill would fall on the illustrious Radio Station 9 box.
See the initial ranking, after the jump

As you can see, Phil Fill is right where he needs to be. We’d like to see him step up his game and shoot for that EP though. Right now we hear that he’s +1 at the turn for his first round. We’ll update you tomorrow morning with his first round results and his updated ranking.
Feel free to approve or disapprove of the current rating and give us your suggestions about where you think Phil Fill should be.
