Going Concern

Preliminary Analytics

Preliminary Analytics | 08.28.09

Caleb Newquist
August 28, 2009

• Big Ticket Seller Tried Deal With Scalpers – Ticketmaster has obviously never tried to get Phish tickets on the day of the show after dropping boomies. You can’t reason with that scum. [WSJ]
• Frank: No Consensus In Sight On Financial Reform – As opposed to thoughts on Maxine Waters’s lunacy, which we all happily agree on. [NPR]
• SEC’s Schapiro Calls Derivatives Data ‘Critical’ for Probes – And by critical, Schape means, “If you don’t give me the data, I will end you.” [Bloomberg]
• Treasury Document Called AIG Investment ‘Highly Speculative’ – No honesty in government? Bah. [Bloomberg]
• ‘Blood Oath’ Sealed Stanford Deal, Court Is Told – What the Times isn’t saying is that the whole thing went down in a treehouse and they kept emergency antiseptic and bandages nearby just in case things got out of control. [NYT]

Review Comments

Review Comments | 08.27.09

Caleb Newquist
August 28, 2009

• Sir Allen Is Down – And his CFO/Number-maker-upper pleaded guilty. Not what you would call a good day. [DB]
• Swiss Negotiator for UBS Says IRS May Seek More Data – Not satisfied by a measly 5,000 someodd names, the IRS is going back for more. MORE. MORE. [Bloomberg]
• Boeing hopes to fly 787 by year-end – Ten says it doesn’t happen. Takers? [Chicago Tribune]
• US ‘problem’ bank list hits 15-year high – Plenty of time to break more historical marks. [FT]
• IFRS could well fail in the US [AccMan]

Joe Francis Plans to Argue That Anything Related to Topless Girls is Deductible

Caleb Newquist
August 28, 2009

Some might call Joe Francis a genius. Others may call him a pig. Regardless, the IRS is calling him a scofflaw tax evader. His defense strategy will entail an elaborate slideshow that will explain that Francis is the “business of sex” and that most of what he’s doing are business expenses.
Sex is a confusing business so Francis’s defense will help the jury understand:
Get informed, after the jump

• Mr. Francis is in the business of sex
• Mr. Francis IS Girls Gone Wild
• Girls Gone Wild is Successful

See? It’s not complicated.
The defense strategy will also include pictures of celebrity guests (with some misspelled names) that were at Francis’s beachside house in Mexico where he incurred “business expenses”. Francis will also present a slide that shows himself to be akin to Hugh Hefner and thus, proving that anything to naked girls should be allowed as a deductible expense.
Open and shut as far as we’re concerned.
Jennifer Aniston For The Defense? [The Smoking Gun via TaxProf Blog]

Big 4

More KPMGers Have Their Labor Day Plans Put in Jeopardy

Caleb Newquist
August 28, 2009

This time it’s San Fran:
See the text after the jump

Dear Senior Managers, Managers, Senior Associates and Associates,
Thank you for your hard work and continued commitment to the firm. As you know, we continue to do everything reasonably possible to achieve our chargeable hour goal for the remaining fiscal year. While we have made progress toward achieving our collective goal, there remains a gap between where we are and what we need to achieve to give ourselves the best chance of meeting our forecast for the month of September.
In order to close this gap, we are increasing the scheduled chargeable time for each senior associate and associate in the month of September to 50 hours per week (average of 10 hours per day). Teams already scheduled at 10 hours per day or more will remain as scheduled. We ask that each engagement team does its best to find meaningful work to fill this additional chargeable time. If seniors and associates are unable to identify meaningful work for themselves or their team, they should contact their engagement partner or manager to discuss ideas for utilizing this time. This increase in chargeable time has been discussed with and is supported by the engagement partners on your accounts.

Any idea what qualifies as “meaningful work”? Discuss in the comments.

Uncategorized

A British D-Lister Does What Many Only Wish They Could Do

Caleb Newquist
August 28, 2009

kerry katona.jpg We’ve got no idea who Kerry Katona is but she had it with her accountant and decided that punching him in the face was good idea.
From the looks of the guy, can’t say that he probably didn’t deserve it. He’s was busted for fraud back in 2004 and was involved in a scheme involving pink rabbits at 600 quid a pop.
K-squared, for her part, declared bankruptcy last year, owing £417,000 in taxes. And just for good measure, she was just picked up two nights ago for being caught on video putting a blizzard up her nose. This whole thing is about as sketchy/awesome as you could possibly ask for.
Kerry Katona accused of punching her accountant [Accountancy Age]

Big 4

Barry Salzberg Has Found Someone That Wants His Job

Caleb Newquist
August 27, 2009

small salzberg.jpg ~~A ghostwriter~~ Dr. Phil has gone and granted our request for Big 4 CEOs to tread into the blogosphere. He’s managed to find time away from making awkward remarks about diversity and giving faux-advice to the President on healthcare to do a puff piece over at Fortune called “The value of volunteerism”. Basically, he’s talking up Deloitte doing skill-based volunteerism, which we think might involve auditing for free but we’re not exactly sure.
We’ve presented the opening paragraph for your enjoyment:
After the jump

Recently, I was sitting with several dozen inner-city teens, talking with them about college and careers. It was a free-wheeling conversation. I was peppered with questions-including, “How can I get your job?”

Dr. Phil is out there. He’s free-wheeling with inner-city teens. He’s blogging about it. He’s talking up the Big D:

Our company, Deloitte, recently conducted a survey on corporate volunteering…only 16% of companies offer skills-based volunteering as an option for employees. Only one out of six…Given the obvious need out there and also given President Obama’s impassioned call for national service, we’ve gone way beyond surveying about volunteerism. We’ve pledged $50 million in services-that’s right, $50 million worth of our employees’ time

So the message here appears to be, “We’re Deloitte. We’re out here kicking ass at volunteering because the President impassionately called us to. $50 mil worth. THAT’S RIGHT. Why aren’t you?”
Not sure what part Salz has played in all this other than faux-writing about it but if you’ve got some thoughts on his stab at taking credit for other people’s volunteering, in the blogosphere, we’d invite you to share.
Guest Post: The value of volunteerism [Fortune]

Uncategorized

Mentors are Your Friends…Right?

Caleb Newquist
August 27, 2009

The WSJ has a little Q&A about how to handle the sitch of a not so great mentor. Since mentor/mentee (use whatever internal buzzword that applies) relationships seem to be ubiquitous in accounting firms we thought that this may be of some interest to you.
More, after the jump

We, personally, cannot fathom an instance where any of you would go out and find yourself a mentor that you wouldn’t burn the town with but maybe you don’t get to make that choice. Or, maybe, since accountants seem to be gluttons for punishment, you picked a mentor that you thought would help your career and it turned out to be a HUGE MISTAKE.
If you’re not choosing your own mentors then it’s an absolute certainty that there have been scores of awkward and borderline inappropriate encounters experienced by you.
Or maybe we’re dead wrong and mentoring just involves spending exorbitant amounts of your firm’s money on U2 tickets and bottle service. Either way, discuss your awesome exploits with your mentors or your complete nightmare, creep-out sessions.

Big 4

Rumor: Deloitte Motor City Edition

Caleb Newquist
August 27, 2009

The last place we would ever expect to get good news from is Detroit. Not that we don’t love Motown (Eminem, The Nuge) but let’s face it, things are not good up there.
So when we got a tip that raises for Deloitte audit were happening in Detroit, we just couldn’t believe it. Especially after all the talk last week that nothing but disappointment was being handed out.
Maybe it’s just certain audit prodigies getting the love, which was speculated, but that’s why we’re checking with you all. Any specifics, fire away or discuss in the comments.

Big 4

Gold Star of the Day: Deloitte

Caleb Newquist
August 27, 2009

Brace yourselves, we’ve got a positive story about accountants, specifically auditors. Taylor, Bean, & Whitaker, filed bankruptcy on Monday after some strange goings on in the past month between the lender and the purchaser of its loans, Colonial Bank.
More, after the jump

The collapse came, at least partially, due to some very pesky Deloitte auditors who were calling TBW on their shenanigans. Per the WSJ:

Edward Corristan, the Deloitte & Touche LLP partner who headed the audit, was uncomfortable with the way Taylor Bean was accounting for foreclosed properties, according to a court filing and people familiar with the matter…Deloitte believed that employees of Taylor Bean and Colonial “had engaged in potentially inappropriate communications” about accounting for the foreclosed homes, according to a filing by Taylor Bean in connection with its bankruptcy case. With Ginnie Mae’s deadline for filing an audited financial statement approaching, Taylor Bean agreed to hire the law firm Troutman Sanders LLP to investigate Deloitte’s concerns. Meanwhile, Deloitte suspended its audit.

When TBW missed their deadline for filing with Ginnie, they had some explaining to do:

That task fell to Paul R. Allen, a former Fannie Mae executive who had served as chief executive of Taylor Bean since 2003…On July 6, Mr. Allen wrote a letter to Ginnie stating that there were no unresolved issues between Taylor Bean and Deloitte, according to the court filing. The letter hadn’t been reviewed by Mr. Farkas, Deloitte or Taylor Bean’s legal counsel, the filing said…Ginnie then met with Deloitte, learned of its concerns and decided that Mr. Allen’s letter was misleading. On Aug. 4, the Department of Housing and Urban Development, which oversees Ginnie and the FHA, suspended Taylor Bean’s authority to make or service FHA-insured loans. HUD said Deloitte had found “certain irregular transactions that raised concerns of fraud.”

Deloitte declined to comment, as it is their policy not to, on client matters. Okay but we’ll say, pret-tay, pret-tay, prety-tay good job Deloitte. Our faith has been restored. For now.
For Lender, a Fast Fall From Audit to Collapse [WSJ]

Uncategorized

True Partners Consulting Layoffs Get Our Attention

Caleb Newquist
August 27, 2009

True Partners Tax Consulting (TPC), who provides “Intelligent Tax Advice” according to its website, decided that it didn’t seem some of its intelligence. According to a tip we received, the Chicago office decided that it really didn’t need some of its intelligence:
Details, after the jump

[TPC] just cleaned house in Chicago. I can tell you for sure that they laid off at least 20 employees (non-partners), most of whom were mid-level or juniors, and that they just rescinded the vast majority (28 out of 36) of outstanding offers of employment. Apparently, the tax attorneys were hit disproportionately hard. I personally know three University of Illinois College of Law newly minted tax attorneys who were just given the axe before they even started work. I have no idea about the firm’s other offices, but I assume they are undergoing a nation-wide bloodbath.

We’ve reached out to TPC who has not responded to our request for comment.
Since it’s possible that many of you aren’t familiar with TPC, we took the liberty of checking them out. TPC has fourteen offices worldwide, including New York, Chicago, LA, London, Munich, and Paris and they specialize in a wide array of tax and business consulting services.
TPC was also listed 9th on Crain’s Chicago Top 20 Places to Work in the spring. PLUS: “There’s free beer and wine after 5 p.m. and a big-screen TV, Nintendo Wii game system and pingpong table for quick escapes from the daily grind.”
If you keep reading the Crain’s piece, you find out that your abrasive assholey ways will not be tolerated, “True Partners won’t hire anyone who can’t pass the collegiality test and will not keep anyone on board who doesn’t display respect and selflessness toward peers.”
Okay, think we got it. So are we to assume that the 20 let go were all dicks (around 20% of the Chicago office) and the offers were rescinded because it was decided those people couldn’t be trusted to play nice? We’ll start there. Help us out with this one and if you know someone that works at this tax utopia pass it along to them. At very least find out what kind of beer they stock in the fridge.

Preliminary Analytics

Preliminary Analytics | 08.27.09

Caleb Newquist
August 27, 2009

• Stanford’s Private-Equity Stakes to Be Sold Over His Objection – “Court-appointed receiver Ralph Janvey won approval to sell several pieces of Stanford’s private-equity portfolio on an emergency basis to avoid meeting capital calls or diluting the investments, according to an order posted yesterday by U.S. District Judge David Godbey in Dallas.” You don’t need investments in hell anyway. [Bloomberg]
• Volunteering Waning in Recession, Report Says – Cutting out the volunteer time to spend time feeling sorry for yourselves. Classy. [NYT]
• Blackstone Gem – Hedge fund of funds rockstar, Steve Schwartzman. His picture accompanies the article anyway. [NYP]
• Microsoft Cuts Price of Xbox 360 – Most of you gamer geeks probably need a back up system or something. [WSJ]

Review Comments

Review Comments | 08.26.09

Caleb Newquist
August 27, 2009

two thumbs up.jpeg • Grant Thornton LLP named one of PINK Magazine’s TOP COMPANIES for WOMEN – Ditto KPMG. [Press Release]
• FDIC Sets Standards for Private-Equity Firms to Buy Shut Banks – Dropped the capital ratio to 10%. Sayeth Chair Bair, ‘We want to maximize investor interest in failed institutions.’ [Bloomberg]
• G.E. Is Shopping Security Unit – Bill O’Reilly conspiracy theory in 3…2…1…[DealBook]
• Microsoft in web photo racism row – That’s not good for anybody. [BBC]
• Recovery rubs off on Freddie, Fannie, AIG – Break ’em up. [FT]

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