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January 26, 2023

Accounting Student Struggles with Love, Money, Blemish of Unknown Origin

We get some weird emails from time to time, some that are not weird enough to get published, some that are weirdly asking to be mocked and some that are… well… like this. We really aren't sure what's going on here — lacking context and all — but I guess this is some prospective "old" 25-year-old seeking guidance from someone already working in public?
From: [redacted] 
Sent: Tuesday, October 01, 2013 11:06 PM
Subject: Question
Hey [redacted],
We talked a couple weeks back at the [redacted school] accounting night. (I was the one looking for [fancy] positions and had a zit on my lip that could have passed for a cold sore. Lol. Whew. It was not. You're probably like, "uh.. What?" Maybe that helps you recall, maybe not. Not completely important, I suppose.
Anyways, if you have a chance here is my question: (background first) I interviewed with BDO and Baker Tilly today, two firms that seem like good places to work, I believe they don't kill you like a big 4. Tomorrow I have an interview with Deloitte :O somewhere I thought I've always wanted to work. Obviously I don't have an offer so this is all hypothetical thinking, but if I get the job, the reality of the situation is that I'm getting old. 25. I know you can't force love and I know it just comes when you're not looking, but would working for a big four completely squash any possibilities for potential relationships if one came along? Is working for a big four a potential career – love trade off? I mean, I like money(as do most females) but love is…great 🙂 What are your thoughts?

Sent from my iPhone
Sweet baby Jesus, where do we start? Well I guess we have to start with the obvious since you, like we were when we first read this, are probably cringing at the herpes reference. Whether or not it was actually a zit doesn't matter, you don't want people to remember you as "the guy with the zit that may or may not have been a cold sore." I can't believe we even have to tell you that, like you don't already know that but seriously, just don't. Also, no one actually gets zits on their lip. Just sayin.
Moving on… what is the question here? Is this guy hitting on the person he's writing to? If he is, I hope that cold sore line wasn't the best he had but it makes this whole thing that much weirder. Is he going to include that on his eHarmony profile? "I'm a young professional with a tendency for acne in strange places that makes people think I have herpes but I love money… and love… yeah!"
Relationships don't just "come along" in any business, generally the fact that people spend so many waking hours with people they find remotely bangable leads to hookups which leads to relationships which, more often than not, leads to awkward breakups. We all know this. It happens any time people are in such close contact without interference from the outside world, such as in prison.
So basically this guy has neither a job nor a girlfriend and possibly herpes, so really he should be working on making the most of the first two before he starts worrying about banging chicks at Deloitte.

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