I didn’t read comic books growing up. I don’t read them now. An occasional graphic novel, sure, but no comic books. I have nothing against them, but after I reached the age of, I don’t know, 13 or so, superheroes with super powers didn’t really do it for me.
For the last decade or so, superhero comics have morphed into superhero movies, and while I have seen several, I am not one of these people who sees every goddamn new AVENGE CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL RAGNAROK INFINITY PANTHER WAR film that hits the big screen. But judging by the amount of money these movies make, this puts me in the minority. Whatever, no judgment here. The movies are fine. I just choose not to make the Marvel Cinematic Universe my fundamentalist religion.
Anyway, my point is that lots of you will be making the sign of the Iron Man cross as you wait in line to see Avengers: Endgame this weekend.
In the last movie, Avengers: Infinity War, mega-villain Thanos got all six Infinity Stones, which gave him the ability to “rebalance the universe,” which is comic speak for carrying out mass genocide at the snap of a finger. At the end of the movie, with the Infinity Gauntlet full of gems on his hand, Thanos snapped his finger, turning several Avengers—as well as half of all life on Earth and in the universe—into piles of dust. Avengers: Endgame will take three hours to show us how our remaining superheroes presumably go back in time to stop Thanos, save the universe, and bring everyone else who turned to dust back to life.
Now, a question you’re probably asking yourself right this second is, “If Going Concern and its favorite accounting luminaries existed in the MCU, which ones would be dead?” Some people on staff here had the same question, and well, here we are.
If I remember correctly, there was no rhyme or reason to who lived and who died in Infinity War, so it stands to reason that there’s no rhyme or reason to who lives or dies in the MCU accounting world. It’s all perfectly random and dumb!
Alright, let’s get on with it. Here’s who disintegrated into a cloud of dust:
- Caleb Newquist, founding editor, Going Concern, Editor-at-Large, Gusto
- Jason Bramwell, staff writer, Going Concern
- AICPA President, CEO, and “more of a Superman guy” Barry Melancon
- Russell Golden, chairman, FASB
- Cathy Engelbert, CEO, Deloitte
- Greg Kyte, CPA, comedian, Going Concern cartoonist
- Joe Adams, CEO, RSM US
- Grover Norquist, president, Americans for Tax Reform
- Jay Clayton, chairman, SEC
- Jason Blumer, CEO, Thriveal CPA Network
Don’t worry, Adrienne fanboys; she survived. Too bad, though; half of you are dead and the other half of you repulse her. As for the others who are stuck with her:
- Adrienne Gonzalez, senior writer, Going Concern
- Tom Hood, executive director and CEO, MACPA
- Tim Ryan, U.S. chairman, PwC
- Lynne Doughtie, U.S. chairman and CEO, KPMG
- Mark Weinberger, global chairman and CEO, EY
- Mike McGuire, CEO, Grant Thornton
- Wayne Berson, CEO, BDO USA
- Ralph Albert Thomas, executive director and CEO, NJCPA
- William Duhnke, chairman, PCAOB
- Charles Rettig, commissioner, IRS
Your death and mine won’t be mourned in the MCU as much as Groot’s, but, hey, at least we won’t have to listen to Steve Rogers lecture us about our bad language any more, right?