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Why won’t anyone hire me?

Aside from my stinky feet, can anyone give tips on why accounting firms won't hire me? Or rather, you probably can't since you don't know details about me and I simply wrote that question as a way to grab your attention. Indeed, what I really want to ask is: what can I do to increase my chances of getting hired by an accounting firm?

Jesting aside, my situation is a bit… ironic. Let me explain.

I graduated with my Master's in spring 2013. During the whole year, I sat back and relaxed while my classmates scurried to interviews to try and land jobs. Why? Because I had already signed with one of the Big 4 prior to starting my Master's program and was set to start at their office in my city in fall 2013. Life was good. Then I hit a brick wall.

As luck may have it, I had to resign from that position before it even bloody started because I was out of country due to family issues. (I went overseas after graduating.) In fact, I was out of country for a large part of 2013 and only recently came back at the start of 2014.

I've been applying to jobs since I've been back and, apparently, getting a job is harder than it seems. I've been mostly focusing on Big 4 but have now began considering other options. Similarly, I first focused on positions in my city but am now open to relocating for work, including out of state.

I personally thought myself as a stellar candidate. No, really — arrogance and lack-of-modesty aside, I do feel I'm a relatively strong candidate. I did well in school (3.8+ GPA in both undergrad and grad, three concurrent undergraduate degrees + one graduate degree), I did three internships (one with a Big 4), and have been running my own startup company for over five years (it started off as a hobby but morphed into something more since then; we aren't the next Facebook but we are making more money than SnapChat). However, it looks like I am doing something wrong because no one will hire me. So, anyone have tips?

What can I do to get hired? What time of the year do positions open up the most? Where exactly should I be looking to apply at? I troll websites of accounting firms but often the job data is out of date or, more annoyingly, some entry level positions require work experience. Yes, I have work experience but not in public accounting (aside from my internship) thus they still consider me to be a recent graduate with no experience.

Help please. With a baby on the way, I'd really like a steady paycheck. Oh god, a new born and busy season isn't going to be fun… assuming I am employed by then!

Thank you.