Since it's the first day back and many of you have spent the last week or so in alcohol and food-induced stupor (and are, therefore, unable to email us anything of interest), you won't mind that we throw out this little story from a few days ago. As you may have heard, eventual-GOP-presidential-candidate-that-no-one-wants Mitt Romney has said that he won't release his tax returns for our viewing pleasure. This is the stance that Romney has taken despite the long history of Republican presidential candidates offering up their 1040s so that we can all learn how unfortunate our lives really are. Mittens has taken a bit of heat for his 1040 blackballing but last week, one his sons, Matt, had a bright idea while he was campaigning for the old man in New Hampshire:
I heard someone suggest the other day that as soon as President Obama releases his grades and birth certificate and sort of a long list of things, then maybe he'd do it."
Immediately Mattens, son of Mittens, was interrupted by his brother, Tagg (Taggens?) who just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that Dad wasn't the one who said that [while shooting an icy stare at his idiot brother]. Later, Matt apologized on Twitter, "I repeated a dumb joke. My bad," which is nice although, as we all know, the statement "My bad," is actually a half-assed apology and actual means, "I'm saying this, not because I want to, but I have to." Anyway, we're all very excited for the day when Mitt Romney finally releases his tax return outside President Obama's mosque to reveal something that we all know: Yes, Mitt Romney is fabulously wealthy.