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While You Were Out: Mitt Romney’s Son Was Kidding (Probably) When He Suggested Dad Would Match Obama’s Birth Certificate with His Tax Return

Posted on by Caleb Newquist

Since it's the first day back and many of you have spent the last week or so in alcohol and food-induced stupor (and are, therefore, unable to email us anything of interest), you won't mind that we throw out this little story from a few days ago. As you may have heard, eventual-GOP-presidential-candidate-that-no-one-wants Mitt Romney has said that he won't release his tax returns for our viewing pleasure. This is the stance that Romney has taken despite the long history of Republican presidential candidates offering up their 1040s so that we can all learn how unfortunate our lives really are. Mittens has taken a bit of heat for his 1040 blackballing but last week, one his sons, Matt, had a bright idea while he was campaigning for the old man in New Hampshire:

I heard someone suggest the other day that as soon as President Obama releases his grades and birth certificate and sort of a long list of things, then maybe he'd do it."

Immediately Mattens, son of Mittens, was interrupted by his brother, Tagg (Taggens?) who just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that Dad wasn't the one who said that [while shooting an icy stare at his idiot brother]. Later, Matt apologized on Twitter, "I repeated a dumb joke. My bad," which is nice although, as we all know, the statement "My bad," is actually a half-assed apology and actual means, "I'm saying this, not because I want to, but I have to." Anyway, we're all very excited for the day when Mitt Romney finally releases his tax return outside President Obama's mosque to reveal something that we all know: Yes, Mitt Romney is fabulously wealthy.

Romney's son jokes about Obama's birth certificate, grades [The Hill] 
Romney son apologizes for Obama 'birther' joke [USAT]

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IRS Commish: We’ll Send You a Letter if You’re Uninsured, Not Heavily Armed Agents

This is disappointing on a multitude of levels. On the one hand, the notion of thousands of IRS agents running around the country, kicking doors is kind of exciting.

On the other, if crazed tax-haters can’t threaten the lives of IRS Agents who can they threaten? The census only occurs once every ten years and threatening to gun down OSHA employees just doesn’t seem to be as effective.


Doug Shulman spoke at the National Press Club yesterday and assured everyone (despite what Dave Camp or Ron Paul says) that agents will not be storming your house packing heat if you don’t purchase insurance. The IRS will be counting on insurance companies to help them run identify those who are skipping on the required coverage.

He said insurers eventually will be required to file a document similar to Form 1099 used by financial institutions to report investment income. The agency will send letters to the uninsured notifying them fines could be deducted from their tax refunds for refusing to comply with the new law, Shulman said.

“These are not the kinds of things we send agents out about,” Shulman said. “These are things where you get a letter from us.”

We imagine the letter won’t be particularly friendly but it’s a far cry from jack-booted thugs pointing firearms at your head.

Shulman Says IRS Has Few ‘Punitive’ Ways to Enforce Health Law [Bloomberg BusinessWeek]

Would the IRS Take the Heisman Trophy as Payment for Back Taxes?

Maybe! But we’ll get back to that in a minute.

There was a fair amount schadenfreude aimed at the University of Southern California when the school was slapped with sanctions a couple weeks back and at Reggie Bush for his role in the whole sitch.

How Bush really feels about it seems to be a mystery since he’s been quoted saying, “[This] is the closest thing to death without dying” but also a less passionate response, “Whatever happens, happens.”

Borderline schizophrenia aside, Fox News reports that Reg might have to pay some back taxes on the estimated $300,000 in luxury gifts he allegedly received:

“If the entire $300,000 is determined to be taxable,” Los Angeles-based CPA Mark Greenberg said, “about 50 percent of that would go to the IRS and Franchise Tax Board. And with penalties and interest, it could go up to 60 percent since it’s going back a few years.”

Greenberg estimates that Bush, now the star running back for the New Orleans Saints, “ultimately will wind up paying about $150,000,” but “it could be up to $200,000” if his financial team can’t get the penalties and interest waived.

We’re sure Bush would never have to give up his trophy a la the Juice since A) he didn’t kill anyone and B) his sponsors are still firmly in his corner, so the money shouldn’t be a problem. That being said, having the IRS snooping around your financial situation is about annoying as a Keeping Up with the Kardashians marathon.