"Lord, can I have a pony?" Sure. Just as soon as I get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 27, 2015
- Atheist: 3.1% of the U.S. population. Their numbers doubled in the past 7 years despite the fact that the only thing worse than listening to a vegan talk about veganism is listening to an atheist talk about atheism.
- Agnostic: 4.0 % of the U.S. population. Agnostics say no one can know if God exists or not. Big deal. CPAs say no one can know if financial statements are free of material misstatements, but we still give an opinion. Despite the fact that they can’t grow a pair and pick a side, these mamby pambies grew from 2.4 percent to 4.0 percent of the U.S. population since 2007.
- “Nothing in Particular”: 15.8% of the U.S. population. Daniel Tosh sums up the Nothing in Particulars nicely: “You ever hear someone say, ‘I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual’? I’m like, ‘I’m not honest, but you’re interesting.’” If you claim to be nothing in particular, that’s exactly what you should expect to get for Christmas. This group grew from 12.1 percent in 2007 to 15.8 percent in 2014.