Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility
December 1, 2022

How To Write an Epic Farewell Email

BWHAHA we changed it up! You thought Colin was going to milk a second post out of the pathetic farewell email he barely posted yesterday but we have just twisted your brains by having ME do a follow-up. WHAT WHAT.

Anyway. When the [dude who's terrible at writing farewell emails] E&Y email came in via the tip box, I must have been doing something else because I barely read it. And then eventually I landed on my couch and got to it. I tried. I really did. I write A LOT and even I found that TL;DR. If it's a joke, it's a really boring joke. So in the interest of helping you help us provide everyone with the best farewell emails ever, here are some tips.

Listen, we get it. Your job sucked. You want to go out with a bang and you feel like dropping every inside joke is going to accomplish that. It won't. Keep it short. Anything above 1500 words and you look pathetic and clingy. Just walk away. Blah blah Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out blah blah. Get it done, don't linger, it's not cute nor clever. It killed me to leave CPA review but I did it like a bandaid; thanks for teaching me what you did but I'm out. Rip it off. Don't puss out here, this is your one goodbye so make the most of it.

This should seem like common sense but clearly it isn't. You're more of a legend if you drop your brief wisdom on the few individuals who you truly enjoyed working with and leave it at that. Trust us. If it's good, everyone will see it anyway so preserve some badassery by choosing just a few colleagues (love or hate) to spread your message to. If you're picking on a particularly assy coworker, by all means CC but don't be an email whore about it.

Did I say keep it brief? What's so hard about that? You're going to look way cooler if you keep it short and get out. You are moving on to bigger and better things, right? Forget the intern who threw you under the bus in his first two months, you're above all that. Don't get nostalgic now, you're walking away remember?! Stay on topic.

Thousands of farewell emails have been written over the years and chances are whatever you're planning on saying has already been said. So why not try doing something different?

Let us judge if your farewell email is epic. Names will be changed to protect the innocent but it isn't our fault if you offer up enough identifying details for others to figure out what office you used to work in. Again, if you keep it brief, you won't have that problem. Whatever, just BCC us and we'll figure it out later. Let us know how you're doing 6 months.

Are we clear?

Latest Accounting Jobs--Apply Now:

Have something to add to this story? Give us a shout by email, Twitter, or text/call the tipline at 202-505-8885. As always, all tips are anonymous.

Comments are closed.

Related articles

an empty classroom

Is an Accounting Major Too Hard? A Thread

Is accounting too hard? That is the question posed by Dr. Josh McGowan, CPA on Twitter: Is the accounting major too difficult? At many universities, accounting courses (especially Principles I & II) have some of the lowest GPAs compared to other disciplines. Why? Are we deterring the next generation of accountants or upholding a needed […]

a speech bubble

Immigrants Aren’t Ethical and Don’t Properly Report Their Income, Says Guy Who Reads Accounting Today

Yesterday morning, Accounting Today published a few letters from readers sent in response to AT’s August 26 article titled Do we need accounting firms? Editor-In-Chief Daniel Hood specifically invited reader comment when he asked out loud if we can do without accounting firms and, as expected, there were comments to be had. Like Randy Crabtree, […]