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Going Concern March Madness: Busy Season Survival — Food & Beverage vs. Technology, The Elite Eight

This blogging gig sucks. The publisher, Gail, is up my ass about this March Madness thing. Says we have to follow through even though it was Colin's stupid idea. Everyone knows that booze is the only thing you need to survive busy season; not sure why we have to go through all the trouble.

The tech guy, Stonewall, is helping out though, so I guess we'll just try to get through the Elite Eight. 

But seriously, just keep some hooch in your drawer at work like me. If you need anything else — including more than 4 hours of sleep a night — to power through busy season, then I don't want you on my team.


Food & Beverage
Anything related to booze should automatically win but I hated happy hours because staff usually wanted to talk to me. Happy hour loses points on that front. Chipotle is okay, but they don't really need anything but steak and cheese. Not sure what the rest of that crap is for.

My Excel skills are legendary. I build pivot tables around your Mom. Not really sure what key shortcuts you need besides Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V. 

Food & Beverage
Scotch, scotch, scotch. I love scotch. I always kept a bottle of Glenlivet in my desk drawer. Partners always came to me when they were ready to take the edge off. They got through some tough late nights thanks to me. Bagels are for useless staff who want to suck up to the team because they have nothing else to offer. I never eat them. 

Email is waste of my time. I usually ignore those that aren't worth my energy for a few hours just to mess with people and then get my assistant to answer them. My Smartphone is with me at all times and it can communicate in direct or subtle ways. Sometimes I have to send passive-aggressive texts to keep my point across and other times like to leave it in plain view on my desk or a conference table just so people know I could be expecting an important text or call at any moment because, really, that's just how things are. I can't help it if I'm busy and people seek my counsel on pretty much everything. They need me to be plugged in.

They want to turn this one over quick, so you have 24 hours to vote. I'll be watching opening day baseball in my office with a couple fingers of scotch if you need me.