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Footnotes: Your Password Sucks; Fifth Third To Pay More Than a 5 1/3 to the SEC; Swag on Swag on Swag From Deloitte | 12.04.13

News to no one: student loan debt is up from last year, to a little over $29,000 on average [CNN Money]

Also news to no one: the NSA knows what your cell phone did last summer [WaPo]

Local Idiot Tries To Adversely Possess Houses; Media and Owners Seem Confused [ATL]

A firm in Iowa that has audited the City of Creston for 10 years lost out on renewing their contract because of a "scheduling error," which is code for "blame the intern" (yes, singular) [Creston News Advertiser]

If your password is 123456, you better change it [Engadget]

Twitter Uses Its Own Accounting, and Analysts Go Along (subscription) [WSJ]

Someone sent us this amazing cat-themed mustache and I therefore have to share it with all of you [Laughing Squid]

Fifth Third is going to pay the SEC for some shady accounting, unfortunately no one at the SEC was funny enough to make the fine $5.33333333333 million [Reuters]

Deloitte asks… what kind of swag do you want at career fairs? The Internet responds disappointingly, with most saying water bottles and pens. WATER BOTTLES? ARE YOU PEOPLE INSANE? At least one person took the opportunity to be real, though:

The California Board of Accountancy has a new president. Congrats, Michael Savoy! [AWeb]

Just FYI, y'all: "If someone finds a big chunk of metal with radiation symbols all over it, they should notify us immediately and don't open it." [USA Today]

The very first Accounting Doctoral Scholars start teaching their first college classes this semester, which is pretty cool. [AICPA]