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Footnotes: Let’s Make a Deal; ATR Turns Your Beer Right Wing; Deloitte’s Maternity Ward | 03.07.14

JPMorgan whistleblower gets $63.9 mln in mortgage fraud deal [Reuters]

Sooooo, who do I have to pay off to get my hands on one of these? [Twitter]

Ex-trader convicted of defrauding bailout program [AP]

I think you know what to do, GC faithful. Our contribution is here [Twitter]

The former UW Madison accountant busted for stealing will do 2 1/2 months in jail and probation [Wisconsin State Journal]

The dollar is dead! Er, for the artist formerly known as Ke$ha [AV Club]

The Obamacare money under the couch cushions [POLITICO]

According to this, Millennials are deeply confused about politics, finances and culture [The Atlantic]

Ex-Jefferies Trader Litvak Found Guilty of Fraud [Bloomberg]

The IPO market is partying like it's 1999, y'all [Bloomberg View]

Who needs velociraptors when you have cats? I mean seriously, this is my apartment all the time, basically [Gawker]