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December 1, 2022

FLASH: Accountants Are the Most Low-Key, High Wage Workers in America

I wish they would have published this stupid article at the peak of busy season. Since some of you spend your lives in perpetual busy season, you should get a laugh at this. And by "a laugh" I mean a cry.

Yahoo (yeah, I know) published a list of "low-key, high wage" jobs and you'll be happy to know yours tops the list. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. Let's see what they had to say:

If crunching numbers on your own sounds more fun to you than clocking face time with people, you may enjoy a career as an accountant or auditor.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. This right here is why people who have absolutely no idea what accountants do shouldn't write articles about what accountants do. Accounting and auditing (auditing, especially) are people-oriented careers. You don't plug spreadsheets in a vacuum. Whether dealing with clients or office politics, trust and believe there will be some actual number-crunching and lots of dealing with fellow human beings (I use that term loosely). Anyone who has ever been stuck in the audit room with someone they can't stand knows the above statement is a complete joke. But let's keep reading:

As an accountant and auditor, you would examine financial records and other documents to ensure compliance with laws and regulations, notes the U.S. Department of Labor. You also might recommend ways to reduce costs and increase revenue.

And where, exactly, does an auditor get those financial records? From a robot? NO, FROM THE CLIENT. The client that hates your face and wishes you would die in a fire because you keep asking them for shit. Keep reading:

Low-Key, High-Pay Factors: "Even though accountants do interact with people, much of their time is spent with numbers," says Cheryl Palmer, a career expert based in Washington, D.C. and the founder of career coaching firm Call to Career. "This type of work calls for a certain amount of alone time where they can think carefully about their work," adds Palmer. 

On what planet do accountants sit around in a bubble stroking their precious numbers? An auditor might get alone time with numbers on a New Year's Eve inventory count, which leaves plenty of opportunity for a reasonable person to think of 5,426 other jobs they'd rather be doing.

The only part of this whole fluff piece that is true is the following bit:

So why is this job so well-paid? It comes down to demand, says Donna Sweidan, a career and executive coach and the founder of Careerfolk in New York City, NY. "Corporate accountability and more stringent business regulations [have increased] the demand for those with accounting skills," Sweidan says.

How to Prepare: Accountants and auditors need a bachelor's degree in accounting or a related field, although some employers also prefer a master's degree, reports the Department of Labor.

Thank you, Yahoo, for letting us know that accountants and auditors need to hold a degree in accounting. There is no possible way any aspiring accountant would have known that. Even failed CPA A/P clerks know that.

If you can, please try to pull yourselves away from those numbers you're crunching and speak to us about this.

Latest Accounting Jobs--Apply Now:

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