September 21, 2020

An Accountant’s Tickmark for Life

It's March 1st and many of you have endured over a month of the unspeakable hell that is busy season already. You've worked late, risen early, eaten countless items out of the vending machine, considered adult diapers, read Going Concern, wished for a quick death, among other things. In short, your lives have ceased to be.   

One other thing that you've all certainly done countless times is documented your work in some manner, shape, or form. This is usually done through tickmarks. While I was digging through old emails, I came across one unforunate tickmark that tells a story. And that story is the tickmark of your life.

Tickmark of my life 
LIFE – Per discussion w/myself, I noted that my life is materially boring. In order to identify the reasons of this issue, I randomly selected three days from my last assignment and performed a walk through of the most significant events to corroborate if I was having fun. I was not able to identify significant funny moments that require further discussion. As an alternative procedure, I checked my voicemail to evaluate my popularity, noting that the only voicemail received during the week, was a standard message sent to everyone in the office urging the submission of the T&E report.
In addition, I reviewed my Outlook calendar to determine if my weekly plans were consistent with the life of a middle 20's guy, noting that my weekends include the following routine, not automated activities: 1) do the laundry, 2) press my clothes, 3) wrap-up workpapers from my previous assignments, 4) prepare and release my T&E report, 5) check my mailbox in the office for confirmations, bills or magazines, and; 6) pack for an assignment out of town and flight out on Sunday night. Once in the airport, a car will be rented from AVIS (a firm previously authorized vendor). Based on information provided by the Mapquest system, I developed an expectation to estimate arrival time to the hotel (Note: Mapquest information downloaded directly from the internet considered an independent source. See manual w/p 5212). I expect to arrive to the hotel about midnight and any significant variance above the threshold will be investigated. 
My life appears to be materially boring w/o/e.
The tickmark of your particular life will vary but you all have your stories. This is just one. Carry on, capital market servants.

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