Tag: Hotties

Today in Hot Accountants: “B-Tag” Thinks First Date Sex Is Skanky, ‘I Love You’ Is a Compliment

Yesterday we threw up some accountant student eye candy courtesy of Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout.

Thanks to Above The Law Managing Editor, David Lat, we’ve discovered even more gratuitous accountant chestiness for those interested.

This time the young man’s name is Tripp Davis and he’s representing Mississippi. Tripp has a few real-world years under his belt so this may be his last chance at superficial fame and fortune.


Some select details on the man who was a Tripp long before a time when we knew who the Palins were (God, we miss those days):

His buddies call him: “B-Tag, because I’m big, tall, and goofy!” [switch a couple letters around and you’ve got yourself something else interesting]

Relationship style: “I won’t date a girl unless I can see myself marrying her down the road. Then I jump into it.” [That’s a Southern Man for you.]

Melt-his-heart words: “I think ‘I love you’ is the best compliment a guy can hear.” [We’ll give him the benefit of doubt here.]

Sex on the first date: “Skanky” [Obvious lie.]

Girls going commando: “Sexy” [Is there another answer to this question?]

Do you manscape? “Yes.” [See our previous comment.]

Okay, so Tripp is a tall Southern gentleman and we’ve got the young Missouri college student. Since we can’t get ahold of Carl’s transcripts or Tripp’s performance reviews, we’ll have to go purely on looks. Judge away.

Mississippi Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]

Hot Aspiring Accountant Loves to Listen, Manscapes, Needs Your Votes

Whenever we can, we like to sex things up around here. Sometimes it can be difficult but fortunately, this is not one of those days.


This young chap is Carl Koenemann he’s representing Missouri in Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout and he just happens to be studying the debit and credit trade.

A few swoon-worthy details on Carl: 1) He plays guitar and writes songs; 2) He craves being told that he’s a good listener; 3) He’s perplexed by a woman who thinks he should be able to read her mind; 4) Affirmative on the manscaping question.

Now some ignorant hack at the Riverfront Times thinks that young Carl is “throw[ing] all [his hottness] away to become a buttoned-down bean counter” but that is just one blogger’s shitty opinion.

We think (and we’re sure you agree) that there’s plenty of room for hot men and women in the accounting field. Not that we’re suggesting that Carl completely dismiss his chance at eating disorders or a career in reality TV but we’re sure he’ll have campus recruiters from all Big 4 firms drooling over him, so his career will be just fine.

Missouri Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]
Carl Koenemann: Manscaping, Accountant Wannabe Needs Your Vote for Sexy Man Contest [Riverfront Times]

Who Will Replace Bob Herz as FASB Chairman?

Yesterday we learned that FASB Chair Bob Herz would be ending his spectacular 8 year run as the head of our favorite accounting standards setting agency.

What we have not learned is who will be replacing him permanently when he escapes next month. In the interest of helping FASB come up with a qualified replacement, we have a few suggestions. Do we need to submit these in comment letter form or can someone just email over for us?


Patrick Byrne Listen, we know there’s something just not right about the guy and it’s entirely possible that he lacks the actual paper qualifications required of the FASB chair. But to his credit, he can do wonders with financial reporting, especially when it comes to using magical fantasy models very similar to FASB’s own mark-to-Disneyland initiatives. He’d be great for coming up with all sorts of helpful guidance (except when it comes to internal control, he might have to contract out to the IASB on that one) and if the IASB decides to get too lippy, Byrne can simply send Judd Bagley after Tweedie’s ass to “straighten him out,” ifyoufeelme.

Willie Nelson Okay, so we’re pretty sure you have to take a drug test before you’re allowed to run the FASB but assuming Willie can get his hands on some goldenseal, we think we have a winner here. He’s laid back enough to handle hard ribbings by Barney Frank in the event of another bank accounting debacle and who knows, we could put off convergence another 15 years if we can send Nelson over to the IASB with some goodies. They’ll be too busy watching Chapelle’s Show and hunting down Doritos to start messing with the sanctity of GAAP. Win.

The hot chick who got fired from PwC Let’s be real about it, the FASB chairman job used to be an esteemed position but now that we’re trudging ever-forward towards convergence (or, rather, total IASB domination), we don’t actually need anyone with more than half a brain in that position. So why not offer hot chick a job? Qualifications include: standing there looking pretty, keeping your trap shut and ignoring Tweedie’s midnight sexting.

If you have a suggestion, why not let us know? We’ll be sure to include it as an aside in our next comment letter. Whoever they get, can we please PLEASE make sure they slightly more photogenic than our buddy Bob? Seriously, we’re going to miss you, Herz, but man did you make us all look bad.

“Faceless” Tax Worker Turns Out to Be a Hottie…Oh and She Saved a Man’s Life

Tax workers of any stripe – federal or state – get hated on. Given. Buzzwords of disdain like “faceless bureaucrats,” “lazy government employees,” “good-for-nothing-except-for-sucking-up-government-resources freedom haters” and so on and so forth get thrown around with reckless abandon.

However, if you knew that your state department of revenue public servants looked like Natalie Brown (right) and just so happened to be responsible for saving a taxpayer’s life, then maybe Tea Partiers and their derivatives would exercise a little more restraint.

Unless of course they’re also against hotties and random acts of kindness.

When [Earl] Phillips called the state Department of Revenue last month to get answers about his state income tax bill, the faceless Frankfort bureaucrat who called him back saved his life.

Now Phillips thinks Department of Revenue employee Natalie Brown — who dialed 911 when Phillips had a heart attack during that May 26th phone call — should receive more than a simple thank you.
[…]
Phillips, an Adair County construction worker, received a tax notice in late May with Brown’s name and phone number

When Brown returned the call he’d placed, she noticed that Phillips, 60, seemed out of sorts.

“I noticed he was breathing really heavily,” Brown said Friday. “I could tell something was wrong.”

At this point, you might expect to read that the government employee placed the phone down to ask their supervisor to get permission to call the on-site nurse (in accordance with the proper protocols). At which point, another co-worker would pop in, suggest they take a break for coffee and a bun and dying taxpayer would be left on the hook.

But nothing of the sort happened! Natalie Brown was on this, knowing that any delay could mean life or death and certainly less future revenue for the state of Kentucky.

Brown verified she had the correct address for Phillips — which was on his tax forms — and called Adair County 911.

Shortly after that, emergency crews arrived and took Phillips, who was home alone, to a local hospital. He was later transferred to a Louisville hospital, where doctors put a stent, or tube, in his heart. He had a 90 percent blockage in one of his arteries, Phillips said.

Hot, lifesaving, tax worker This has reality TV written all over it.

Tax worker helps save taxpayer’s life [Kentucky Herald-Leader via TaxProf]

(UPDATE) Apparently You Can Also Be Too Hot to Work at PwC

~ Update includes statement from PricewaterhouseCoopers spokesman

By now you’ve probably heard about Debrahlee Lorenzana, who was claiming that being an über-hottie caused her to get fired from her job at Citi.

The Big 4, having its share of hotties, now is facing allegations of its own discriminatory behavior. We were sent the following email that has been making the rounds at PwC about a young associate who was shown the door last Friday. Bravely, the author of the email included her name and phone number, which we’ve redacted:

I have been following the story about the banker in NYC who was fired for her “appearance”. I was just fired today [June 11th] froerhouseCoopers. I am a graduate of Lehigh University, I have been with the firm since September 2009. I would like to think I am competent enough to hold a job – I recently studied 8 hours for a CPA exam and passed. A test that I have watched my peers struggle with – studying for months and failing multiple times. I have 3 of 4 CPA exams completed, and I am 3-3 in my testing.

Anyway, I was placed on an engagement with an all-male team and one female partner. I was given a poor review on this engagement, however, my work received glowing reviews. On all my other teams I have gotten feedback that I am a pleasure to work with, intelligent, hard-working etc.etc. Per my performance review, they noted that the reason I performed below expectation was because I had a negative attitude with my team and the other piece of feedback I received, from this female partner, is that I was dressed inappropriately because I didn’t wear tights with my skirts in the winter. This is during a time we lived out of a hotel, working from 9am-4am, 7 days a week, and the last thing on anyone’s mind is clothes. I am a 22 year old girl, and I definitely do not “look the part” of an accountant. While on my team with all males, I received constant harassment about how I should “sleep with the senior manager (who was very disliked) to make him cooler” or “you have to go talk to the client cause you are hot”. My mentor from the firm was on my team as well, and every day would comment on my appearance, such as, “Did you lose weight? You look good” or “Your legs look fabulous today”. I was also told that my senior on the team was “in-love with me” and that I should “hook-up with him”. During this period I had a boyfriend whom I expressed my deep deep frustration on this with. Since my employment at the firm, I have been constantly harassed by the partner who hired me. I received such e-mails as, “I am home alone in my hot tub, you should come” or text messages like “So what color underwear are you wearing?” which, I kept my mouth shut about. Keep in mind this individual is married, with kids. Eventually I went to HR when I received my performance review because obviously there was a major disconnect. Of course, they “fully investigated” with the team of all males, and today I was told that I was fired, for under-performance. I was denied a copy of my performance reviews (which as our review policy goes – are given back to each individual at the firm). I inquired as to whether HR had spoken to other individuals I had worked with, and they told me “it was irrelevant” and that my review was contingent only upon “this one engagement (as referred to above)”. Bear in mind that I have worked on 5 other clients since September 2009, and these reviews were thrown to the wayside.

I have been following the story in the news about the woman banker fired in NYC, and have received multiple comments from my co-workers such as, “I can see them doing this to you” or “this is probably why the female partner doesn’t like you – cause you are hot”. Obviously, there seems to be an underlying theme here.

I graduated with a 3.4 from Lehigh, majoring in Accounting and minoring in writing. I got a 1410 on my SAT’s, a near perfect split of 710 Verbal and 700 Math. Throughout my life, the one thing I was sure of was my ability to compete intelligence-wise with my peers, and often exceed far above. So you can understand my extreme confusion and frustration that I could be capable of under-performing, at a firm, where there is documented proof on paper I perform well above my peer group.

So I come to you, whomever may be concerned, as this is an issue I am bringing to light and will hire an attorney for. I was wrongfully terminated – without a fair reason. I have saved all of my work performed while at PwC to provide as evidence of comparison with my peers. If this type of story strikes interest with anyone over at the NYT, I am more than happy to share more information. Like they say, Big Fours are “slave-drivers”, and yet again, they perpetuate this image.

I can be reached by telephone at [redacted]. I live in Stamford, CT and worked on clients from NYC to NJ to CT. Thank you for taking the time to read this – I am a bit flustered still from today’s events, but find no better way to vent than by writing.

SO! That’s a lot to digest. Being a fan of fantastic gams (who isn’t, amiright?) is one thing but verbalizing it in the middle of internal controls testwork is entirely another. That being said, a text requesting the hue of undies is whole other level of awkward.

Our calls, emails, telegrams, and messages by carrier pigeon to PwC have not been returned.

UDPATE: PwC spokesman Jon Stoner provided us with the following statement:

As a matter of policy and practice, PricewaterhouseCoopers is fully committed to maintaining a workplace free of sexual harassment. We take any complaints about sexual harassment seriously, and investigate any such claim thoroughly and confidentially. That is exactly what we did in this case, and we did not find any basis to the allegations.

An Opportunity Lost

Thumbnail image for Holly.jpgGang, we’re a little upset about something today. Last week we told you about something that had the potential to turn awards for accountants on its green eyeshade wearing head.
Yes, we’re talking about the doomed Deloitte ballot sent out by Holly Leam-Taylor. Today would have been the day that she had sent out the results of her sluttiest future partner, hottest old man, et al. awards, if it had not been for her inexperience with sending out superficial emails about her colleagues.
If Holly had only consulted with someone, anyone with experience on such matters, they could have explained that Deloitte is not a place for such “fun” things and that using her work email was not the best way to solicit nominations.
Alas, our request for someone to pick up where Holly left off has been roundly ignored and here we are on a Friday with nothing to share about Deloitte’s hottest men in London.
So far we’ve been unable to track down Holly since her Deloitte email has been obliterated. Holly, if you’re out there, get in touch. We’ll get your side of the story out there. We know you’re fed up but this will be fun. We promise. Anyone else that can put us in touch with Holly, please help. We’re still getting over our disappointment.

Accountant of the Decade Poll

Stella_rocknrolla.jpgPicking nominees for Accountant of the Decade was not an easy task and we hope we’ve presented you with some appropriate nominees. If you don’t like the any of them then you should’ve been more vocal during the nomination process.
Or put another way: piss off.
Personally, we would have nominated Stella but we vowed to let the people speak on this matter and not allow our personal preferences to cloud the democratic process.
The nominees are as follows:
Peter Olinto — CPA; JD; Rival of P. Diddy; CPA Exam Maven; Lover of mnemonic devices.
Tim Flynn — Chairman of KPMG; Servant of capital markets; Part-time caddy to Phil Mickelson; Full-time sweater vest buddy to Phil Mickelson.
Tim Gearty — CPA; Infrequent Tweeter; CPA Exam Maven; Kicks it with Bob Herz on boats.
Andy Fastow — Enron CFO; Book cooker; Asshole (so we hear); Inmate #14343-179.
David Friehling — Former partner at Friehling & Horowitz; Bernie Madoff pal; Worst auditor ever; Inmate #TBD.
Now vote.

And the Award for Deloitte Analyst Most Likely to Sleep His Way to the Top Goes To…

Gents, are you sick of being treated like eye candy? Are you tired of getting attention for your looks when all you want to do his serve your capital markets? Being judged for alleged promiscuity with superiors?

No? Cool with it? Good, because there are awards being handed out across the pond primarily based on your superficial qualities and your willingness to whore yourself out for personal success (click to enlarge).

Picture 2_jpeg.jpg

We’re filling out our ballot now but as the message says, you’ve got until the 18th, so ponder these carefully. Barry Salzberg is a lock at #6, especially if he’s wearing a hard hat.

Btw, who is going to tabulate the votes? We sure as hell can’t trust anyone from Deloitte to do it. Consider this the official RFP.
Also discuss your thoughts on the categories included, what categories are omitted, nominate yourself by sending us photos (we’ll pass them along). Anything on your mind, really.