Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility
February 5, 2023

Hot Aspiring Accountant Loves to Listen, Manscapes, Needs Your Votes

Whenever we can, we like to sex things up around here. Sometimes it can be difficult but fortunately, this is not one of those days.


This young chap is Carl Koenemann he’s representing Missouri in Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout and he just happens to be studying the debit and credit trade.

A few swoon-worthy details on Carl: 1) He plays guitar and writes songs; 2) He craves being told that he’s a good listener; 3) He’s perplexed by a woman who thinks he should be able to read her mind; 4) Affirmative on the manscaping question.

Now some ignorant hack at the Riverfront Times thinks that young Carl is “throw[ing] all [his hottness] away to become a buttoned-down bean counter” but that is just one blogger’s shitty opinion.

We think (and we’re sure you agree) that there’s plenty of room for hot men and women in the accounting field. Not that we’re suggesting that Carl completely dismiss his chance at eating disorders or a career in reality TV but we’re sure he’ll have campus recruiters from all Big 4 firms drooling over him, so his career will be just fine.

Missouri Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]
Carl Koenemann: Manscaping, Accountant Wannabe Needs Your Vote for Sexy Man Contest [Riverfront Times]

Whenever we can, we like to sex things up around here. Sometimes it can be difficult but fortunately, this is not one of those days.


This young chap is Carl Koenemann he’s representing Missouri in Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout and he just happens to be studying the debit and credit trade.

A few swoon-worthy details on Carl: 1) He plays guitar and writes songs; 2) He craves being told that he’s a good listener; 3) He’s perplexed by a woman who thinks he should be able to read her mind; 4) Affirmative on the manscaping question.

Now some ignorant hack at the Riverfront Times thinks that young Carl is “throw[ing] all [his hottness] away to become a buttoned-down bean counter” but that is just one blogger’s shitty opinion.

We think (and we’re sure you agree) that there’s plenty of room for hot men and women in the accounting field. Not that we’re suggesting that Carl completely dismiss his chance at eating disorders or a career in reality TV but we’re sure he’ll have campus recruiters from all Big 4 firms drooling over him, so his career will be just fine.

Missouri Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]
Carl Koenemann: Manscaping, Accountant Wannabe Needs Your Vote for Sexy Man Contest [Riverfront Times]

Latest Accounting Jobs--Apply Now:

There are currently no vacancies.

Have something to add to this story? Give us a shout by email, Twitter, or text/call the tipline at 202-505-8885. As always, all tips are anonymous.

Related articles

cute dog with Valentine hearts

Friday Footnotes: Know Your Value; Retired EY Partners Complain; ‘Rest For Success’ | 2.3.23

Hail Eris! Today is 2/3/23 and this is your Friday roundup of all the week’s news that wasn’t fit to print (or make fun of). We appreciate you stopping by! Big 4 EY considers handing retired US partners cut of proceeds from spin-off [Financial Times] EY has told retired US partners it is considering giving […]

a kid in business attire working on a laptop

If You Let 23-Year-Olds Sign Off on Audits, You’re Gonna Have a Bad Time

On January 24, short seller Hindenburg Research dropped a report called Adani Group: How The World’s 3rd Richest Man Is Pulling The Largest Con In Corporate History, in which Hindenburg accuses Indian conglomerate Adani Group of engaging in “a brazen stock manipulation and accounting fraud scheme over the course of decades,” among other things. A […]