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Deloitte officially rolled out its Talent Annuity Report today and before you start wondering just what the hell a Talent Annuity Report is, Barry Salzberg enlightens everyone:

We published a Talent Annuity Report because we regard our talenhat generates an annuity. We take pride in the contents of the report — it is a tangible manifestation of our passion and commitment to our talent. Our people are vital to the continued growth of our business, and we are focused on fostering a quality culture where everyone has the opportunity to reach their fullest potential.

Everything Dr. Phil says may in fact be true, however when we look at the report, we see a lot of indecipherable hexagons that may or may not be used to communicate this “passion and commitment to [Deloitte’s] talent.”

Fortunately, if you’re not too interested in navigating through the geometric maze, the press release manages to break down why it was such a bang-up year for the talent at Deloitte:

The report chronicles a year of bold talent initiatives and historical milestones including:
• Groundbreaking of Deloitte University, a $300 million state-of-the-art center established to foster personal and professional growth at Deloitte

• Company-wide rollout of Mass Career Customization® , a career development model that enables all Deloitte professionals to dial up and dial down their careers to fit their needs at various life stages

• Launch of a voluntary sabbatical program for employees to take up to six months leave to engage in volunteering and other personal pursuits

• Presentation of Deloitte’s cutting-edge corporate lattice business strategy in a new book titled “The Corporate Lattice: Achieving High Performance in the Changing World of Work“

• Introduction of a customized approach to talent development with Deloitte professionals participating in 2.4 million learning hours

• Achievement of the 1000+ mark for women partners, principals and directors — a reflection of Deloitte’s hallmark Women’s Initiative and commitment to an inclusive environment.

• Recognition from more than a dozen national organizations, including the No.1 ranking on BusinessWeek’s “Best Places to Launch a Career” list

Whether or not spending $300 million to build the Deloitte frat house is worth it, is a matter of opinion.

As for BusinessWeek lists and whathaveyou, most employees understand that this perpetual conclusion is for marketing purposes and would be more than happy to take exception with it. As for the rest of the initiatives and milestones, you can take them for what they are worth.

But what’s especially interesting is the timing of this release. These non-monetary reasons are presumably supposed to serve as reminder of Deloitte’s commitment to employees. But since the report was issued in wake of the merit increases we saw last week, it’s almost if it’s meant to console employees after the relatively disappointing news. And if that is the case, it will fail miserably.

Deloitte Releases Talent Annuity Report [PR Newswire]