RSM McGladrey’s C.E. Andrews was on CNBC today to plug the The McGladrey Classic, the new PGA Tour event that has NOTHING TO DO WITH TIGER WOODS.
C to the E to the A also isn’t too worried whether or not his firm got a deal sponsoring the tournament at the rumored $3 – $3.5 million since the wheels were already in motion before the “Tiger event” (read: everyone on Earth knows that he’ll screw anything). He’s just stoked that the firm has their name on a tournament (although it’s not so obv from his demeanor).
As for PGA commish Tim Finchem, he hasn’t talked to him and he says he won’t until T Dubs is ready. According to the commish, they’ll prepare appropriately at that time which will probably involve having local hookers on site at the events.
Basically the unspoken element here is how grateful the PGA is to have RSM do them a favor in their time of need.
Tag: Hookers
Who Will Replace Tiger Woods at Accenture?
The possibilities are endless:
• Will they poach Phil* from KPMG?
• What about Natalie from RSM?
• Do they go in a different direction altogether and pick up Chuck Liddell?
• Becks?
T. Dubs’ tendency to screw anything with a pulse looks like it will benefit someone handsomely. Accenture can’t afford to go too long without a shill.
Let’s help them out. Vote below and discuss. Oh, and if the mood strikes you, throw a caption on this pic. You’ve go to wonder which trollop TW’s got on the brain wearing a grin like that.
*Over Tim Flynn’s dead body
1099s Are All Evidence We Need to Conclude That Tiger Paid for Sex
By now, we’re sure you’ve heard that Madam Michelle Braun has claimed that Tiger Woods not only paid $60k for sex but that both Holly Sampson and Jamie Jungers, two of T. Dubs [insert most recent number here] mistresses, were prosties for her.
It doesn’t sound like Tiger got down with either of the them while they were hooking for Braun (it was just regular throwing money around type stuff) but the Post does quote Braun about TW being a big fan of the ‘girl-on-girl’ action and ‘booze and sex bender[s].’
ANNNNNND they’ve got 1099s for both Sampson and Jungers. So does anyone doubt that the greatest golfer the world has ever known is basically the same as Eliot Spitzer? We’re sure convinced!
Seriously, if a madam goes to the trouble of filling out 1099s for non-employee compensation, we’ve got no reason to disbelieve anything she says.
You may now return to your regularly non-accounting related Tiger Woods coverage.
Woods ‘bought’ cathouse gals [NYP]
jungers_sampson_1099.pdf
Also see: Lesson Learned: Even Madams Pay Their Taxes [Tax Girl]
Accountant Steals from Toys ‘R’ Us, Buys Hookers Bentleys
Before we get started, we just want to kindly request that you keep any thoughts or comments you have about Geoffrey masks to yourselves, okay? Thanks.
Anyhoo, an accountant in the UK has pleaded guilty to 18 counts of theft of £3.7 million from Toys ‘R’ Us that he spent on hookers and other necessities including said hookers’ mortgages and their transportation needs.
[Paul] Hopes encountered most of the call girls while touring the country on business, drinking in the bars of luxury hotels. He spent about £500,000 of the money on “food, drink and entertainment”, according to one source. He also gave thousands of pounds to call girls and bought one a Bentley.
“He developed an infatuation with at least a couple of the girls,” said one investigator. “Sometimes thousands of pounds in cash were passed over in envelopes and they could do what they wanted with it.”
He paid off the mortgage of at least one escort — although he failed to do the same for the loan on his own home. According to the economic crime unit of Thames Valley police, there is no suggestion that Hopes’s wife or his two children benefited from the fraud in any way.
Yes, the man was married with children. And yes, the man was willing to make sure that a lady of the evening had a roof over her head before his own family. So, mild-mannered, grey-haired, double-chinned number crunchers that are leading double lives. Consider this your warning. Everyone will be looking at you differently.
Quiet Paul from accounts in £3m secret life of fast cars and call girls [Times Online]
ACORN Stonewalled on VITA Funds but Questions Remain
Yesterday the IRS released the list of recipients of $8 million in matching grants for the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance program. Many of you participated in this fine program back when you were focused on developing a drinking problem, which may explain the high error rate but that’s neither here nor there.
Of the 360 applications submitted for funds, one notable organization that was DEEE-NIED was ACORN.
Despite the grave dancing that is likely going on in certain corners of the media, is anyone asking the important questions here? Including but certainly not limited to:
• Who will real sex workers depend on for tax advice?
• What non-profit organization will the two “investigators” entrap next?
• Will Glenn Beck finally calm down? He has appendicitis for crissakes.
Questions worth noting. If you have answers to any of these, kindly enlighten us in the comments (without suffering from an aneurysm).
IRS Leaves ACORN Off VITA Grant List [Web CPA]
IRS Awards $8 Million in Grants to 147 Organizations for Tax Prep Assistance — $0 to ACORN [TaxProf Blog]
No IRS VITA “Seed” Money for ACORN [Tick Marks]
Firm Mascot Challenge: PwC
We’ll assume everybody is down with the KPMG Pomeranian and Uncle Dangle for Deloitte. If not, speak now or shut your pieholes.
There’s some resistance to the idea of famous Governor banger, Ashley Dupre, being worthy of the PwC Mascot.
Frankly, since P. Dubs has made some feel like prosties already and has also shown that, as firm, they don’t mind whoring themselves out for some scratch, the argument can easily be made that Ashley is the perfect mascot. On the other hand, the point has been made, and is duly noted, that high-priced call girls are much cooler than any accounting firm.
So you see the problem here but it’s not our decision. We’ll leave it up to you. State your submission for the PwC mascot and give a brief explanation for said suggestion in the comments.
Keep it clever people, mascots already assigned to any other team or organization will be ignored with extreme prejudice. On with it then.
Haven’t Got Enough of Hookers with Tax Issues?
Okay.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| The Audacity of Hos | ||||
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IRS: Hookers, Even if They Dress Up as Doctors, Do Not Qualify as Medical Expenses
We’re not ones to judge people who prescribe to home remedy treatments of any kind. However, if you choose to run through questionable means of treatment, like say BJ’s, HJ’s, etc., as deductible medical expenses, you’re on your own.
Gothamist:
A state judge has ruled that a 77-year-old Bay Ridge tax lawyer must pay back taxes after wrongfully deducting more than $300,000 for prostitutes, porn, sex toys and erotic massages…he dutifully documented each liaison in a notebook titled “Tax Journal,” in case he ever got audited
It sounds like the old guy was trying to be on the up and up about the whole dildo/Hustler/hooker-therapy methods but since paying for sex isn’t legal, the IRS and the New York state auditor (and are probably prudes) weren’t really down with the whole idea. He probably should have known better as Eliot Spitzer would have likely taken advantage of these deductions long ago had it been kosh.
Court Denies Tax Lawyer’s $100,000 Medical Expense Deduction for Prostitutes and Porn [TaxProf Blog]
Would Skipping Viagra Have Avoided These Expenses? [Tax Update Blog]