October 20, 2021

DC

DC Cops Need Your Help Finding The Scrub Who Robbed DC Auditor’s Office

DC cops are looking for help from the public in tracking down the loser in jorts who nabbed two Dell laptops from the DC Auditor’s Office located at 700 block of 14th Street, NW. On Monday, April 16, at approximately 5:30pm, this scrub in a white t-shirt and blue cargo shorts entered the DC Auditor's […]

One Fifth of DC’s Failed Southeastern University Graduates Passed the CPA Exam in 2010

You've probably never heard of Southeastern University and I don't say that to be an asshole about what I know before you do, I mean that to say it's a tiny, now defunct school based out of the worst part of DC. In case you don't know, Southeastern has since evaporated: Last month I wrote […]

Why Am I the Only Person Under 40 at AICPA Spring Council?

So I’m here in downtown Washington, D.C. for three days of awesomeness that is AICPA Spring Council 2011. While today’s session started just past the asscrack of dawn (breakfast at 7am) and goes through evening, the first day was mostly cocktails and schmoozing, as these events tend to  be.

Here’s my question: where the hell are the young CPAs? Of the attendees, every single state is represented, some more than others. CPAs from across the country have descended upon Washington in their best monkey suit to listen to speakers like George Will and Eleanor Clift, as well as to get an update on the legislative issues that impact the profession. On Tuesday, they’ll be taking to the Hill to bring these issues directly to their Congress(wo)men.

But there is only ONE attendee (from Hawaii) who falls into our age bracket (your humble reporter excluded, of course). ONE.

Listen, I get it. You spent your last college years dealing with this kind of shit, putting on a tie and sucking up to partners and recruiters, all the movers and shakers of the industry. You worried about using the wrong fork at banquets and sat through symbolic awards ceremonies just to appear as though you are passionate about your industry. Now that you actually have a job, what’s the point?

The point is that these issues impact the profession which you will inherit one day. I’ve got nothing against middle-aged men in suits (hell, I’ve been dating one for the last two years) but one day soon, they’ll be retired and it will be up to us to take the reins and move the profession forward. How on Earth are we supposed to do that if we don’t figure out how it is done now?

There are endless opportunities here for mentoring and, better, for young CPAs to have a voice. Yes it’s somewhat symbolic. Yes you will have to wear a tie. Yes it can be stuffy and dull and a bit tedious. Guess what? It’s still important and one day, when all the middle-aged men are living their retirements out on yachts in the middle of the Pacific, you’re going to have to step up and do it anyway.

If you’d like to get involved (it’s not too late to start planning for next year), get in touch with your state society of CPAs for more information. You can find out more about AICPA Governing Council on their website.

You can follow #AICPAGC11 hashtag on Twitter to check out what we’re all up to for the next two days and please, don’t make me yell at you again. I didn’t put this monkey suit on this morning for nothing.

You Can Thank Abraham Lincoln For Not Having to File Your Taxes Today

As everyone knows, today is usually tax day but thanks to Emancipation Day – a recognized public holiday in the District of Columbia, home of the IRS, since 2005 – we get an extra weekend to put off plugging our earnings into our 1040s.

The official holiday is April 16th but since Emancipation Day falls on a Saturday this year, the District gets Friday off. Buses run as usual but those heading to Tax Day events around DC (Federal Reserve Board protest, anyone?) can rest easy knowing the DC Parking Gestapo will not be out circling the streets for blood, er, expired meters.


Fact: slavery was legal in the U.S. from 1619 until 1865. By 1860, there were about four million slaves in the United States. On April 16, 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Compensated Emancipation Act, which freed more than 3,000 slaves in the District of Columbia. Slavery did not officially end in the United States until the end of the Civil War in 1865 when the 13th Amendment was ratified by 30 of the then 36 states. Bet you didn’t know that Mississippi only ratified the 13th amendment in 1995!

This holiday is especially near and dear to my locale, which boasts itself as the wealthiest majority African American county in the entire country. Though don’t believe everything you read in Ebony, PG is far from the luxurious country club the magazine painted it as in this 2006 article.

April 15th falls on a Sunday next year so you’ll also get an extra couple days in 2012 but Honest Abe doesn’t get credit for that, maybe Copernicus or whoever came up with the 365 + 1 every four years calendar year.

Happy Emancipation Day!

Is KPMG Moving Out of DC?

Maybe! The AP is reporting that KPMG is expanding its Fairfax County Office (i.e. Tyson’s Corner) by moving people from its DC office.

According to an accountant close to the situation, “The Tyson’s Corner office switched buildings, and as a result, had a large amount of available office space. The DC advisory practice (including IRM or whatever it’s called now) moved from the M Street office to Tyson’s. I used to sit on the 7th floor whenever I worked from the office, but the place was in full move-out mode when I went in on Friday.”


Residents of the commonwealth will be thrilled to know that Virginia’s governor approved a $250,000 grant from the Governor’s Opportunity Fund for the “project.” In other words, Virginia taxpayers footed $250k to move dozens of coffee guzzling, poorly dressed 10-key tramps out of the District. And it turns out, many aren’t thrilled about it, “Advisory people are bitching about moving, especially the ones who live in the District.”

But our source also says that the rest of DC office might be packing up:

There’s rumors that the entire DC practice will be moved to Tyson’s, but I don’t know if that’s true [let’s just assume it is, shall we?]. KPMG might be the only one of the big four who still has an office in DC proper, but then again, we’re the biggest of the big four when it comes to Federal clients – and there’s a certain cachet to having that office building in Dupont Circle with the big “THE KPMG BUILDING” emblazoned on the side. [O]therwise it’s been the usual hooplah from management and torrent of “OMG SO EXCITING!” emails, and the staff I know are mostly just “meh.”

If it comes to leaving the District altogether, John Veihmeyer will probably just buy the sign and slap it on the side of his summer house. Can’t let something like that go to waste.

KPMG, Grant Thornton DC Offices Are Closing at Noon

We heard that it was getting ugly in the Nation’s Capital so we called around to find out what’s what:

KPMG – “Closing at noon both DC and Tyson’s”

E&Y – “No word yet”


Deloitte – “We’re hopeful”

PwC – “We go by the Federal Government”

Grant Thornton – Closing at noon.

Nothing like a snow day but a snow day during busy season is an especially welcome event. It’s supposed to get nasty in Philly too but it hasn’t started snowing there yet, so unfortch you’ll probably have a full day ahead of you (out at 3 pm if you’re lucky).

An added bonus is the possibility that the storm could keep you from working the weekend. Unless, of course, you plan on working from home. If this is the case, we advise you to get home safely, set everything down when you get there, take off your coat and slap yourself. Twice. Hard.