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Autocorrect Claims Randy Accountant as Latest Victim

It’s really the ALLCAPS that makes this awkward text interaction with the accountant embarrassing.

The creepy part about “that was not meant for you” is that it implies that “If anything changes please call MESOHORNY” was meant for some other individual out there. It also likely means that at some point, this accountant used MESOHORNY in a text interaction. We can only imagine in what context.

Keep it classy out there, kids.

[via Damn You, Autocorrect]

Grant Thornton Employee Curious If Fellow Accountants Are Sleeping with Partners, Propositioning Colleagues

Let’s start off with a little anecdote:

I work at GT and recently a male associate began dating a newly named female partner. The associate has since put in their two week notice, most suspect due to his newfound sugar momma who’s divorced with 3 kids, or to give him more time with his other girl. It was recently revealed he not only likes older ladies but hit on a guy at national training offering up “favors.”

Apparently, at the training, the associate repeatedly asked another guy to go to his room with him during a game of pool. Since he was making no progress here, he flat out told his fellow pool player what acts he would like to provide.

Well! That’s quite a busy accountant. J��������������������rying to sleep up the ladder and offering up “favors” that may or may not include a pool cue and/or an 8-ball gag. Sexual activity aside, our tipster is curious as to just how…curious some of you are:

I was wondering if you could start a thread/story about office romances and open it up for comments to see just how alternative some accountants/cpas are. I wonder if this sort of thing is normal, or if society is just changing quicker than I am noticing.

Wait, are you asking if sex is normal? Or if accountants having sex with each other is normal? OR if accountants swinging both ways or engaging in other adventurous activity is normal? I’ll save you the trouble and answer all these questions: “Duh,” “HELL YES,” and “It depends.”

It’s been widely discussed around these parts that a situation that includes: accountants, working long hours, after-work booze will inevitably lead to some accountant sex. Whether you care to engage in sex with another accountant is largely a question of convenience and/or if you’re really interested in someone who’s also an accountant.

As for adventurous activity, you probably all remember Annabel McClellan, a former Deloitte employee accused of insider trading, who prior to her legal troubles, was developing a mobile app called “My Nookie” that basically amounted to Facebook for swingers. There was also the blind item we ran earlier this year about a partner whose fondness of exotic hookers landed him in divorce court. Oh! And then there was the PwC partner in Houston who allegedly made a move on an associate at a happy hour. Can’t forget that one.

As for juggling a divorcée partner with another girl and then offering BJs to a colleague at national training – it’s really hard to say how widespread this type of behavior is. Most accountants barely have enough game (or time) to get one person in the sack, let alone juggle two and then try to explore their bi-curiosity. Plus, are you aware of any of your co-workers that are bisexual or bi-curious? From the phrasing of your question, I’m guessing no.

Let’s not forget that you’re working in a very conservative industry and those in the business that do like a little swing party or simply swing both ways would probably prefer to keep those activities on the DL. Luckily for all of you, GC is the type of place where you can speak about the all the fun you’re having freely.

So, then. If you’re the “alternative” type, as our tipster asks, please elaborate. Do you keep it purely outside the office? Do you look for similarly interested accountants at your firm? Are you open about it or is the culture at your firm a little behind the times? If you prefer not to comment, email us your story (with details!) and we’ll handle the rest.

Here Are the (Unconfirmed) Details on the Milestone Award for Newly Promoted PwC Senior Associates

As you may remember, we detailed PwC’s new compensation structure back in spring to much fanfare. There were lots of details but one that sounded especially interesting were the “Milestone Awards.” These are awards given to newly promoted Senior Associates, Managers and Senior Managers/Directors. Specifically for SAs, a “highly specialized individualized offsite training that will help the new seniors make decisions about their careers. This will last for 12-18 months as they adjust to their new roles and held in an offsite, marquis location.”

We now have a few unconfirmed (due to circumstances beyond our control) details for you for this “training” including the “offsite, marquis location”:

• Terranea Resort in Palos Verdes, CA (near Long Beach/LA)
• 4 days long
• For New Senior Associates promoted July 2011
• Not a training/all about fun and celebration
• Gift to new senior associates (all lines of service)
• Monday huge celebration dinner
• Small groups of 10 people
• External experts on personal finance, wellness, nutrition, etc
• Nightly fireside chats with partners
• Adventure-style activities

Weeks
1) Nov 14, 2011
2) Dec 5, 2011
3) Dec 12, 2011
4) May TBD 2012
5) June TBD 2012

Fireside chats? Like the kind with FDR? For your sake I hope Bob Moritz and/or Dennis Nally drop by for the fun, although don’t forget that Nally is done with hot yoga, so DON’T BOTHER ASKING.

And doesn’t the Terranea Resort look pleasant? It’s in California not surprisingly, since P. Dubs has had NOTHING BUT TROUBLE from the clowns in Florida. There is golf, a spa, ocean view dining, etc. etc. Here’s the photo and video gallery if you need more visuals. Of course this kind of romantic setting is perfect for romantic interludes that will allow PwC to perpetuate any incestuous master race of capital market servants they might have.

ANYWAY, it’s our understanding that these details are to be released later this month but we thought you’d like a sneak peak. Discuss your thoughts and/or envy in the comments.

America’s Hottest CPA Goes on Reality TV Looking For Love

Do you guys remember Tripp Davis? Last year, this number-crunching Southern gentleman from Mississippi made Cosmo’s Hottest Single Bachelors List, calling first date sex skanky and girls sans chonies sexy. Our kinda man.

Anyway… Judgmental hater and bad Photoshopper that I am, I made the mistake of publicly rre angle at which his stunningly perfect abs appeared to be cut in the photo Cosmo used. It took a few hours of staring to figure it out but I finally saw that it was just a weird camera trick (part pose, part flowy white shirt they stuck him in) and word is Tripp has been a pretty loyal reader of Going Concern since. Yay kismet (and forgiveness)!

So when he recently got in touch to tell us about his latest adventure, we absolutely had to share it with you all.

What happens when you put 10 “city” guys and 10 “country” guys in a house to battle for the affection of one gorgeous bachelorette? Well, you get Sweet Home Alabama, which debuted last week on CMT. What does this have to do with Tripp’s perfect swimmer’s abs? Well because he’s on the show, obviously.

Raised on fried chicken, turnip greens and grits, it’s no wonder show producers reached out to Tripp to get him on the show after spotting him on Cosmo’s list. He’s actually looking for the love of his life (how cute) and says he won’t date a girl unless he can see himself marrying her down the road. Some of his opponents include a tobacco farmer from Tennessee, a Hollywood financial adviser, a Birmingham bartender named Tribble (first, not last, bitch) and – wait for it – one of Snooki’s ex-boyfriends who calls himself a singer/musician. This ought to be good.

Now I’m not easily swayed by southern manners and ripped abs but I have to say I was charmed by Tripp in our brief phone call for this post. So he may just have a shot to win the heart of Devin Grissom – a student at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa – if he can warm this salty Fedbasher’s cold black heart.

Check out our boy Tripp (he’s the one bawling at 1:55) on the show, which you can catch on CMT Thursdays at 9pm (8 Central).

Sweet Home Alabama: Thursday’s 9/8c on CMT! from Sweet Home Alabama (CMT) on Vimeo.

We hear the show includes lots of drama (surprise), douchebaggery and even a fight over the grill. Everyone knows you don’t mess with a man’s meat. Just sayin.

Tripp sums up the plot in words somewhat like this:

City guys are more interested in what they can buy the girl and showing their wealth, it’s all about the bling. They are defined by who they have dated. Country guys are more about who they are and their character, that shows through. Money shows through for city guys.

Good luck, Tripp, we’ll be rooting for you. Seriously. We’re pretty sure “reality star” wasn’t one of the manufactured scenarios many of you fell for when you were seduced into public accounting (much like work-life balance and prestige), which is why our hot little CPA friend here works for an unnamed private firm. Think about that next time you’re having a reality crisis, this guy is off chasing a chick. On teevee.

“It was such an amazing experience!” [Devin] says to a fan. “I’m a lucky girl … All of the guys on the show were so great,” said chick says on Facebook.

Someone has to blaze a trail with his sizzling fried chicken abs, it might as well be this guy. The accountant stereotype has been rewritten in recent years, not everyone is a WoW-playing, Dorito-eating shlub who doesn’t know what business casual actually means. Some are, yes. Some are also ripped. And, uh, on a reality show.

(UPDATE) Ernst & Young Auditor Area Man Takes His Crush for Co-worker Ernst & Young Auditor to Craigslist Missed Connections

Don’t you just love missed connections? Maybe you’re more of a casual encounters person but there’s something to be said for someone that is experiencing such infatuation that dropping a post on Craiglist seems like the best thing to do. Of course, it’s another thing entirely when you are infatuated with someone at work and you conclude that your best way to tell them that they are the most beautiful creature on Earth is by posting on missed connections. Apparently, UPDATE: some dude crushing on an Ernst & Young auditor did just that.

Dating Fails: Dating, Breakup, Boyfriend, Girlfriend - Office Romances Don't Count Online, Right?
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Okay, a few notes:

1. For a lot of reasons, personal and professional, there’s no way I can say anything to you. – What exactly are the “personal” reasons? You can’t speak in coherent sentences? You have awful body odor? You’re actually a serial killer? As for “professional” reasons, we all know that auditors are banging auditors all over the place (SEE UPDATE BELOW), so if you’re simply saying that this can’t happen because it’s against your professional morals then fine but other people around you are getting busy and you will not.

2. I can’t believe you don’t hear that all the time. You probably do. – You’re right. She probably does hear it all the time. But not from anonymous people on the Internet.

3. I wish I could tell you and not come across as a sleaze! – You’re not “coming across,” broski. You’re already there.

This was posted in NYC (expired now) so maybe we can track this guy down and help him with his game.

UPDATE:
After reader input and discussing it with my partner in crime, it’s clear that this is a client leering at the E&Y auditor and AG and others are postulating that our Craiglist creeper is either married or in a committed relationship. If this is the “personal reasons” he spoke of, it’s far less interesting and funny than some kind of social anxiety disorder that renders him a stuttering love-sick fool. But it does begs several societal questions among them: 1) does posting a missed connection constitute cheating? or 2) do we applaud his self-control (until he gets home of course). Discuss.

Woman Insists She Didn’t Rip Off PwC Because She’s a Bad Person But to Hide the Fact That She Was Having an Affair with a Married Partner

When banging your boss, there are certain precautions one must take to ensure that the affair is not discovered. In the case of Angela Tilling, who was jailed for £33,000 in expenses fraud, she claimed “her behaviour was an attempt to prevent John Minard’s wife spotting suspicious payments on his credit card.” Mr. Minard admitted that he had sexual relations with that woman (that’s what I keep hearing in my head) but denied that they had “full intercourse.”

Of course smut isn’t the only part of this story. We learn that Angie reportedly “conned” P. Dubs into spending “£50,000 celebrity appearance at a Christmas party in a bid to boost her popularity,” among other expenses that weren’t kosher. You see, it appears that Angela wasn’t too good at making friends, so she threw around a bunch of the firm’s money so people would think she’s the bee’s knees.

“Some of the money was used to provide entertainment for others because what this lady craved was the respect of others.

“She liked to be the centre of attention, providing days and nights out. She is a lonely lady who bought the friendship and affection of people with whom she worked. It was not salted away for a rainy day.”

The court heard Tilling falsely claimed £2,183 expenses for a 47-head staff lunch at Birmingham’s Hotel Du Vin on December 7, 2004 and £2,146 for a company hotel conference in June 2005.

She blew a strict £25,000 budget when organising the company’s Christmas party on December 22, 2005, fraudulently transferring two £29,375 payments to cover a celebrity guest’s £50,000 appearance fee.

Tilling also falsely claimed a £15,000 payment by lying that she had paid the sum as a deposit to secure the guest, who the prosecution and booking agency refuse to name.

She was also paid a further £5,581.25 in bogus expenses on October 17, 2006 and £3,706 in June that year for Solihull College support staff.
In December 2007 she fraudulently claimed £2,225 for 60 theatre tickets at Birmingham’s Hippodrome – another company outing she organised.

It was all for love.

PricewaterhouseCoopers PA jailed over expenses fraud [Telegraph]

How Are You Celebrating the End of Busy Season?

I’ll tell you how I’m celebrating – continuing my successful string of years not celebrating. Adrienne? She’s experimenting with home remedies for a stomach flu. But never mind our problems, you guys have somehow survived the January to April stretch without going nuts, assaulting someone and successfully avoiding awkward sexual advances (the latter two sometimes happening at the same time). That means you deserve to celebrate; whether or not that’s on company dime is another question.


Back in the KPMG days, I attended a pretty good throw-down at the Central Park Boathouse for the Financial Services group but that was in the spring of 2008 when the Bear Stearns embers were still hot and everyone who worked on the Citi still thought they worked for a great client (that’s what I was told, anyway). In 2009, end of busy season soirees were a much more muted with individual team celebrations because the world had basically just ended.

Last spring it sounded like it was more of the same. Nothing too out of control and individual teams were left to celebrate how they saw fit. Of course with a successful fiscal 2010 and fiscal 2011 looking good, firms may be ready to jump into the ostentatious end of busy season blowout parties once again. Maybe your partner(s) is/are taking you to Peter Luger’s; maybe it’s an intimate evening at the his/her home where some entertainment will be provided (hopefully from inside the firm). Or maybe it will just a drinks and awkwardly dancing the night away. We can’t possibly know since we don’t get invited to such things (at least officially), so discuss your plans, send us your invites or come up with your own ideas about how to best celebrate getting your life back.

Vault Survey: 47% of Accountants Have Had an Office Romance

Are you missing out on some manufactured romance today? Wishing you had that special someone in your life so you could finally show off your handmade greeting card talents? Just wishing you could break the dry spell? Look no further than the cubicle next to you! Our friends as Vault, being acutely aware that today is the mother of all manufactured romantic days, have released their annual Office Romance Survey and this year’s results found that 59% of the 2,000+ people surveyed have participated in an office romance.

Now, we all know plenty of people that have decided to dip the pen in the company ink and during busy season when people are spending night and day with each other the desire to nibble on a love newton is especially tempting. But surprisingly, the number of accountants that admitted to an office romance was not nearly as high as you would expect, with only 47% saying they handled a co-worker’s assets.


Now, if that number seems a little low maybe it’s because there is a rule of three effect going on here but there’s really no way to tell. A few more details from the Vault survey:

• “[If you] felt uncomfortable because of co-workers’ intra-office romantic relationships”: 27% – “Yes”; 73% – “No” – Way more of “They’re cute together!” as opposed to, “Get a room!”

• “Felt that a co-worker gained a professional advantage because of a romantic relationship with a co-worker/superior”: 36% – “Yes”; 64% – “No” – Sleeping your way to the top must not work like it used to. Or maybe it never did.

• “Based on your previous experience in an office romance, would you participate in one again?” – 71% said “Yes” – Um, yes, the sex was worth it.

• Fourteen percent dated a supervisor while 30% dated a subordinate. – Title is good for something!

• Nearly 22% of respondents had “a tryst at the office.” – With a cleaning woman? On the desk? Should I not have done that?

• Twenty-one percent have an “office husband/wife.” – No sex involved here; just like a real marriage!

• Twenty-six percent of those surveyed said their company has an official policy regarding work relationships while 28% don’t know if their company has one. – Or choose not know.

• Thirty-six percent have known a married co-worker to have an affair at the office and 18% have known a married or seriously involved co-worker who had a romantic liaison while on a business trip for the company. – “Known” as in, “I’m pretty sure because just based on the way they’re acting, they’re definitely getting it on”? Or walking in on a break-room make-out session?

So Happy Valentine’s/Singles Awareness Day! Discuss your workplace romance adventures (the more awkward, the better) in the comments and try to get your beloved something a little less cliché (red roses, again?) or self-serving (Victoria’s Secret) this year.

Will You Find Love This Busy Season?

The following post is republished from AccountingWEB, a source of accounting news, information, tips, tools, resources and insight — everything you need to help you prosper and enjoy the accounting profession.

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Many workers turn to the once taboo office pool in search of companionship, and the search appears to be paying off. More than a third of workers (37 percent) say they have dated someone they worked with over their career; 18 percent report dating co-workers at least twice in their career. Additionally, 30 percent report they went on to marry a person they dated in the office. This is according to CareerBuilder’s annual office romance survey of more than 3,900 workers. Of those who have dated in the workplace, one-in-ten say they have dated someone at work within the last year.

Some workers are dating those above them on the office ladder. When it comes to dating higher ups, women were more likely than men to date someone above them in their company’s hierarchy. One third of women said they have dated someone who holds a higher position in their organization; 20 percent of men report they have done the same.


“Workplace relationships no longer carry the stigma they once did, as 65 percent of workers said they aren’t keeping their romance a secret. However, it is the responsibility of the individuals to understand company policy and make sure they adhere to it,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “Especially in this economy, workers are spending more time in the office, and the lines between working and socializing are being crossed. Workers need to keep it professional under all circumstances, though, to ensure that the quality of their work is not negatively impacted.”

Some workplace relationships may have their beginnings in current workplace crushes. Eight percent of workers currently work with someone whom they would like to date, with more men (11 percent) than women (4 percent) reporting they would like to do so.

Twelve percent of workers reported that their relationships started when they ran into each other outside of work. Some other situations where Cupid’s arrow flew between co-workers include:

• Happy hour
• Lunch
• Working late at the office
• Company holiday party
• Business trip

Haefner offers the following tips for workers who may want to spark a workplace romance:

• Know your company’s policy on office dating: While some companies may have a formal policy, others may not have anything at all. Make sure both parties in the relationship are aware of potential rules or consequences.
• Social media – office relationship friend or foe?: Before you start posting pictures and status updates about your newfound coupledom, it may be better to inform your co-workers or boss in person. That way, there is less chance for gossip or speculation.
• Keep the relationship out of the office: Do your best to maintain professionalism and not let the dating issues affect your performance or others on the job.

The survey also showed the repercussions of workplace romance, with 6 percent of workers saying they have left a job due to an office romance.