Autocorrect Claims Randy Accountant as Latest Victim
It’s really the ALLCAPS that makes this awkward text interaction with the accountant embarrassing.
The creepy part about “that was not meant for you” is that it implies that “If anything changes please call MESOHORNY” was meant for some other individual out there. It also likely means that at some point, this accountant used MESOHORNY in a text interaction. We can only imagine in what context.
Keep it classy out there, kids.
[via Damn You, Autocorrect]
America’s Hottest CPA Goes on Reality TV Looking For Love
Do you guys remember Tripp Davis? Last year, this number-crunching Southern gentleman from Mississippi made Cosmo’s Hottest Single Bachelors List, calling first date sex skanky and girls sans chonies sexy. Our kinda man.
Anyway… Judgmental hater and bad Photoshopper that I am, I made the mistake of publicly rre angle at which his stunningly perfect abs appeared to be cut in the photo Cosmo used. It took a few hours of staring to figure it out but I finally saw that it was just a weird camera trick (part pose, part flowy white shirt they stuck him in) and word is Tripp has been a pretty loyal reader of Going Concern since. Yay kismet (and forgiveness)!
So when he recently got in touch to tell us about his latest adventure, we absolutely had to share it with you all.
What happens when you put 10 “city” guys and 10 “country” guys in a house to battle for the affection of one gorgeous bachelorette? Well, you get Sweet Home Alabama, which debuted last week on CMT. What does this have to do with Tripp’s perfect swimmer’s abs? Well because he’s on the show, obviously.
Raised on fried chicken, turnip greens and grits, it’s no wonder show producers reached out to Tripp to get him on the show after spotting him on Cosmo’s list. He’s actually looking for the love of his life (how cute) and says he won’t date a girl unless he can see himself marrying her down the road. Some of his opponents include a tobacco farmer from Tennessee, a Hollywood financial adviser, a Birmingham bartender named Tribble (first, not last, bitch) and – wait for it – one of Snooki’s ex-boyfriends who calls himself a singer/musician. This ought to be good.
Now I’m not easily swayed by southern manners and ripped abs but I have to say I was charmed by Tripp in our brief phone call for this post. So he may just have a shot to win the heart of Devin Grissom – a student at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa – if he can warm this salty Fedbasher’s cold black heart.
Check out our boy Tripp (he’s the one bawling at 1:55) on the show, which you can catch on CMT Thursdays at 9pm (8 Central).
Sweet Home Alabama: Thursday’s 9/8c on CMT! from Sweet Home Alabama (CMT) on Vimeo.
We hear the show includes lots of drama (surprise), douchebaggery and even a fight over the grill. Everyone knows you don’t mess with a man’s meat. Just sayin.
Tripp sums up the plot in words somewhat like this:
City guys are more interested in what they can buy the girl and showing their wealth, it’s all about the bling. They are defined by who they have dated. Country guys are more about who they are and their character, that shows through. Money shows through for city guys.
Good luck, Tripp, we’ll be rooting for you. Seriously. We’re pretty sure “reality star” wasn’t one of the manufactured scenarios many of you fell for when you were seduced into public accounting (much like work-life balance and prestige), which is why our hot little CPA friend here works for an unnamed private firm. Think about that next time you’re having a reality crisis, this guy is off chasing a chick. On teevee.
“It was such an amazing experience!” [Devin] says to a fan. “I’m a lucky girl … All of the guys on the show were so great,” said chick says on Facebook.
Someone has to blaze a trail with his sizzling fried chicken abs, it might as well be this guy. The accountant stereotype has been rewritten in recent years, not everyone is a WoW-playing, Dorito-eating shlub who doesn’t know what business casual actually means. Some are, yes. Some are also ripped. And, uh, on a reality show.
(UPDATE) Ernst & Young Auditor Area Man Takes His Crush for Co-worker Ernst & Young Auditor to Craigslist Missed Connections
Don’t you just love missed connections? Maybe you’re more of a casual encounters person but there’s something to be said for someone that is experiencing such infatuation that dropping a post on Craiglist seems like the best thing to do. Of course, it’s another thing entirely when you are infatuated with someone at work and you conclude that your best way to tell them that they are the most beautiful creature on Earth is by posting on missed connections. Apparently, UPDATE: some dude crushing on an Ernst & Young auditor did just that.
Okay, a few notes:
1. For a lot of reasons, personal and professional, there’s no way I can say anything to you. – What exactly are the “personal” reasons? You can’t speak in coherent sentences? You have awful body odor? You’re actually a serial killer? As for “professional” reasons, we all know that auditors are banging auditors all over the place (SEE UPDATE BELOW), so if you’re simply saying that this can’t happen because it’s against your professional morals then fine but other people around you are getting busy and you will not.
2. I can’t believe you don’t hear that all the time. You probably do. – You’re right. She probably does hear it all the time. But not from anonymous people on the Internet.
3. I wish I could tell you and not come across as a sleaze! – You’re not “coming across,” broski. You’re already there.
This was posted in NYC (expired now) so maybe we can track this guy down and help him with his game.
UPDATE:
After reader input and discussing it with my partner in crime, it’s clear that this is a client leering at the E&Y auditor and AG and others are postulating that our Craiglist creeper is either married or in a committed relationship. If this is the “personal reasons” he spoke of, it’s far less interesting and funny than some kind of social anxiety disorder that renders him a stuttering love-sick fool. But it does begs several societal questions among them: 1) does posting a missed connection constitute cheating? or 2) do we applaud his self-control (until he gets home of course). Discuss.
How Are You Celebrating the End of Busy Season?
I’ll tell you how I’m celebrating – continuing my successful string of years not celebrating. Adrienne? She’s experimenting with home remedies for a stomach flu. But never mind our problems, you guys have somehow survived the January to April stretch without going nuts, assaulting someone and successfully avoiding awkward sexual advances (the latter two sometimes happening at the same time). That means you deserve to celebrate; whether or not that’s on company dime is another question.
Back in the KPMG days, I attended a pretty good throw-down at the Central Park Boathouse for the Financial Services group but that was in the spring of 2008 when the Bear Stearns embers were still hot and everyone who worked on the Citi still thought they worked for a great client (that’s what I was told, anyway). In 2009, end of busy season soirees were a much more muted with individual team celebrations because the world had basically just ended.
Last spring it sounded like it was more of the same. Nothing too out of control and individual teams were left to celebrate how they saw fit. Of course with a successful fiscal 2010 and fiscal 2011 looking good, firms may be ready to jump into the ostentatious end of busy season blowout parties once again. Maybe your partner(s) is/are taking you to Peter Luger’s; maybe it’s an intimate evening at the his/her home where some entertainment will be provided (hopefully from inside the firm). Or maybe it will just a drinks and awkwardly dancing the night away. We can’t possibly know since we don’t get invited to such things (at least officially), so discuss your plans, send us your invites or come up with your own ideas about how to best celebrate getting your life back.
Vault Survey: 47% of Accountants Have Had an Office Romance
Are you missing out on some manufactured romance today? Wishing you had that special someone in your life so you could finally show off your handmade greeting card talents? Just wishing you could break the dry spell? Look no further than the cubicle next to you! Our friends as Vault, being acutely aware that today is the mother of all manufactured romantic days, have released their annual Office Romance Survey and this year’s results found that 59% of the 2,000+ people surveyed have participated in an office romance.
Now, we all know plenty of people that have decided to dip the pen in the company ink and during busy season when people are spending night and day with each other the desire to nibble on a love newton is especially tempting. But surprisingly, the number of accountants that admitted to an office romance was not nearly as high as you would expect, with only 47% saying they handled a co-worker’s assets.
Now, if that number seems a little low maybe it’s because there is a rule of three effect going on here but there’s really no way to tell. A few more details from the Vault survey:
• “[If you] felt uncomfortable because of co-workers’ intra-office romantic relationships”: 27% – “Yes”; 73% – “No” – Way more of “They’re cute together!” as opposed to, “Get a room!”
• “Felt that a co-worker gained a professional advantage because of a romantic relationship with a co-worker/superior”: 36% – “Yes”; 64% – “No” – Sleeping your way to the top must not work like it used to. Or maybe it never did.
• “Based on your previous experience in an office romance, would you participate in one again?” – 71% said “Yes” – Um, yes, the sex was worth it.
• Fourteen percent dated a supervisor while 30% dated a subordinate. – Title is good for something!
• Nearly 22% of respondents had “a tryst at the office.” – With a cleaning woman? On the desk? Should I not have done that?
• Twenty-one percent have an “office husband/wife.” – No sex involved here; just like a real marriage!
• Twenty-six percent of those surveyed said their company has an official policy regarding work relationships while 28% don’t know if their company has one. – Or choose not know.
• Thirty-six percent have known a married co-worker to have an affair at the office and 18% have known a married or seriously involved co-worker who had a romantic liaison while on a business trip for the company. – “Known” as in, “I’m pretty sure because just based on the way they’re acting, they’re definitely getting it on”? Or walking in on a break-room make-out session?
So Happy Valentine’s/Singles Awareness Day! Discuss your workplace romance adventures (the more awkward, the better) in the comments and try to get your beloved something a little less cliché (red roses, again?) or self-serving (Victoria’s Secret) this year.
Will You Find Love This Busy Season?
The following post is republished from AccountingWEB, a source of accounting news, information, tips, tools, resources and insight — everything you need to help you prosper and enjoy the accounting profession.
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Many workers turn to the once taboo office pool in search of companionship, and the search appears to be paying off. More than a third of workers (37 percent) say they have dated someone they worked with over their career; 18 percent report dating co-workers at least twice in their career. Additionally, 30 percent report they went on to marry a person they dated in the office. This is according to CareerBuilder’s annual office romance survey of more than 3,900 workers. Of those who have dated in the workplace, one-in-ten say they have dated someone at work within the last year.
Some workers are dating those above them on the office ladder. When it comes to dating higher ups, women were more likely than men to date someone above them in their company’s hierarchy. One third of women said they have dated someone who holds a higher position in their organization; 20 percent of men report they have done the same.
“Workplace relationships no longer carry the stigma they once did, as 65 percent of workers said they aren’t keeping their romance a secret. However, it is the responsibility of the individuals to understand company policy and make sure they adhere to it,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “Especially in this economy, workers are spending more time in the office, and the lines between working and socializing are being crossed. Workers need to keep it professional under all circumstances, though, to ensure that the quality of their work is not negatively impacted.”
Some workplace relationships may have their beginnings in current workplace crushes. Eight percent of workers currently work with someone whom they would like to date, with more men (11 percent) than women (4 percent) reporting they would like to do so.
Twelve percent of workers reported that their relationships started when they ran into each other outside of work. Some other situations where Cupid’s arrow flew between co-workers include:
• Happy hour
• Lunch
• Working late at the office
• Company holiday party
• Business trip
Haefner offers the following tips for workers who may want to spark a workplace romance:
• Know your company’s policy on office dating: While some companies may have a formal policy, others may not have anything at all. Make sure both parties in the relationship are aware of potential rules or consequences.
• Social media – office relationship friend or foe?: Before you start posting pictures and status updates about your newfound coupledom, it may be better to inform your co-workers or boss in person. That way, there is less chance for gossip or speculation.
• Keep the relationship out of the office: Do your best to maintain professionalism and not let the dating issues affect your performance or others on the job.
The survey also showed the repercussions of workplace romance, with 6 percent of workers saying they have left a job due to an office romance.
Insider Trading Charges Throw a Wrench into Former Deloitte Employee’s Plans for Sexy Mobile App
[caption id="attachment_22306" align="alignright" width="260" caption="Drew Altizer Photography via The Bay Citizen"]
[/caption]
Having a nice Friday evening, Going Concern faithful? Wonderful. Ordinarily, we would leave you to your weekend activities but something came to our attention that simply couldn’t wait.
Earlier in the week, we told you ��������������������, the former Deloittians who were charged with insider trading by the SEC. Arnold and Annabel were giving tips to Annabel’s sister, Miranda Sanders, and her husband, James, who traded on the information. The SEC alleges that the scam amounted to approximately $23 million in gains for everyone involved.
For all intents and purposes, Arnold McClellan probably was your run-of-the-mill tax partner at Deloitte until he opted to use his insider knowledge to make some money for himself and his in-laws. Likewise, you might expect that Annabel was just a humdrum Deloitte employee who landed a partner (he’s 13 years her senior) who got involved in a insider trading scam. But someone sent us a link to a report in the Bay Citizen that informs us that she had a very interesting venture in the works.
You see, Annabel left the firm (exactly when, is unclear) after working in the London, San Jose and San Francisco offices and presumably was ready to be a stay-at-home mom. When that became monotonous, she and a friend figured they would take their interest in knockin’ boots to launch a mobile app called “My Nookie.”
The website for the app has been taken down but the Bay Citizen was able to get a lot of the details:
The “about” tab for McClellan’s website details a vision for a new kind of social networking site:
My Nookie
Friends love to talk about sex and My Nookie is the app your sex life and social life can’t be without. Journal and rate your partners and sexual encounters. Share sexperiences with your closest friends, take sexting to the next level and relive your rendezvous with those five star partners.
Fun and tasteful with activity illustrations, My Nookie is fully loaded with features to flirt, play, tease and share. Feeling adventurous? Shake your phone and dare to try something new. Keep it handy on your iPhone because you never know …..
Features:
• Detailed diary of your sexual activities with date, partner, location, ratings and notes
• Partner contacts with profile, including photo, rating, activities performed, notes and tally
• Sex activity illustrations and descriptions, with the option to add your own
• ‘Shake It’ feature which suggests an activity to try
• Personal profile with ‘nookie’ summary
• Share all or some of your entries, partners, and profile
• Send a sexy invite to a partner or potential partner with alluring pictures
• Email, text or call your partners right from the app
What happens in My Nookie stays in My Nookie with optional pass code lock and discreet mode.
The Bay Citizen reports that My Nookie isn’t available in Apple’s app store (frankly, we’ll be surprised if passes Steve Jobs’s sniff test) but they have some screen shots (examples are on the following pages).
Unfortunately, now that Annabel has legal troubles to contend with, the Citizen reports her partner in the My Nookie venture, Milly Hanley, has taken over the project entirely. Arnie’s lawyer stated that he wasn’t involved with this venture while Annabel’s counsel simply stated that My Nookie was unrelated to their involvement and referred the Citizen back to Ms. Hanley who claims she can’t recall how she met Annabel.
The story around the McClellans is even weirder the more we poke around. Andrew Ross quotes a source in the San Francisco Chronicle:
“While they’ve been described as socialites, they’re definitely not at the top of that heap. I think a more apt description is they were attempting to scale the social heights.”
According to a report Wednesday in the online Bay Citizen, “in recent weeks, citing vague legal troubles, the couple had told friends that they were considering moving their family, which includes two school-aged sons, to South Africa.”
Perusing around a little bit more, Annabel’s Facebook page seems pretty locked up (definitely not accepting new friends) and we found the blog “My Nookie” which has the same feel as the mobile app and was started by “three friends in our 30s and 40s,” the third woman possibly being Jeanette Harris, who, the Citizen article states, hosted a benefit last year with the other two women.
From the blog’s “About Us” page:
We’re three friends in our 30s and 40s who realized that somewhere between meeting our husbands and getting married, we clammed up when it came to talking about our sex lives. MyNookie.com is where we can open up about everything we’re thinking about when it comes to sex and sexual health. And it’s where you can turn to for creative solutions and accurate information—because sex is too important to feel like you’re missing out.
Sure sounds like it could be our three amigas, doesn’t it? So with these developments, this story has gotten exponentially more interesting. We invite anyone with knowledge about the situation to email us and we’ll keep you updated as we learn more. Oh, and be sure to leave your thoughts on the app in the comments. Ms Hanley is probably looking for feedback.
(UPDATE) Area Man Searching for Accountant Addicted to Love
~ Update includes the spartan’s response to our request for comment.
No. Seriously.
Reportedly at LaSalle and Erie in Chicago. Yes, we’ve emailed Victor. No, we haven’t heard back.
Sayeth Vic:
Thank you for your help Caleb! Its just amazing how many people are pitching in to help find one person. Everyone except for the one person who left a comment on your site (even though it was kind of funny). If you hear anything on the interwebs about this girl let me know! I’m thinking there is a 50/50 chance she has seen this and is highly unimpressed. Oh well you have to try.
Unimpressed? Hardly dude. It’s fate (or something).
[via @retheauditors]
Obvious Sign of Fraud: You’re Having Sex with the Client
In case you young auditors thought you needed to have highly acute senses to detect fraud at your clients, you’re dead wrong.
Best thing you can do is immediately become skeptical if you find yourself trying to figure out the best posish for the client’s office supply room:
More, after the jump
“These auditors from the Big Four accounting firms are usually single kids just a few years out of school. What do kids in their 20s think about all the time? Sex,” said [Sam] Antar, who was at the center of a multi-million dollar fraud 20 years ago.
So Antar would pair “cute hot female” employees with male auditors as part of his distraction strategy. “In effect, I was a fraudster, matchmaker and pimp,” said Antar, who avoided jail time by working with the U.S. government, and now advises government agencies and businesses on avoiding accounting fraud.
As we’ve covered, the opportunities for accountants to get some action can be few and far between so this strategy makes perfect sense.
This will put many of you in a very difficult situation. We really wish the best for all you of in the getting laid department especially when it involves someone that would ordinarily be way out of your league.
But you may have to decide: Do you uncover the next diabolical Ponzi scheme or do you totally cave to the irresistible charms of the guy that looks way too much like Chace Crawford?
Who would it take for you to overlook a few million in misappropriated funds? Discuss in the comments.
Financial fraud — accounting for criminals [CNN]
Trying to Decipher the Awkward and Scattered Sex Lives of Accountants
The blog Energized Accounting asks if accountants make better lovers. Now before you all squawking about how you’re an animal in the sack, let’s try to be realistic about this question.
First of all, this makes the assumption that accountants are getting laid in the first place. This is mostly farcical for a couple reasons: A) Lots of accountants have to choose between sleeping and eating already because of the hours they work. You throw in boot-knocking and some excel wizards are going to start starving to death; and 2) Unofficial statistics have shown that seven out ten accountants have no game. You may not know who you are but your friends do.
So based on that, 30% of you are getting some action. And since there is a rampant proclivity to date co-workers (which we will exclude for this exercise) among accountants that narrows it down to about 5% of accountants having sex with non-bean counters. As we mentioned, you’re working most of the time so where the hell is this hot sex happening? We’re thinking that national training sessions might be one spot, where you’re picking up prosties or random hot townies in whatever strange city you happen to land in? Accountants treat national training like Vegas so pretty much anything goes but what about the other 51 weeks in the year? Is that what is going on at those two hour lunches? Do some client locations have rooms set up for this like a swing-joint? Try to enlighten us without making a scene.
FASB Overseers Hope That Motley Crue-ish Tour Will Help Win Some Fans Back
The Financial Accounting Foundation (“FAF”) trustees are going on a tour that will certainly rival the amount of groupie tail that Motley Crue was getting circa late 80s.
“The Financial Accounting Foundation trustees, who oversee the U.S. Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB), will meet with small closed discussion groups of investors, auditors, academics and regulators in New York, Dallas, San Francisco, Chicago and Washington, D.C., as well as with the FASB’s standing advisory groups.”
It’s pretty clear that the FAF has the intention of spreading their seed knowledge around the country in order to win back some cred for the FASB.
FASB overseers to seek input on new strategic plan [Reuters via Accountancy Age]