So it's the Monday after the Super Bowl and most of you are suffering from some kind of hangover. Whether it was caused by food, booze or you're simply wallowing in a lack of a Peyton Manning comeback, this day should really be a national holiday (even non-football fans can agree on that notion). Melancholy, indigestion and cocktail flues aside, the other certainty that comes with the SB is gambling. And we're not talking friendly-poker-game gambling, we're talking recklessly wagering on every single aspect of the biggest spectacle in sports gambling. Two of the most creative wagers we've seen so far was the betting on rating for the Focus on the Family (featuring Tim Tebow and Mamma Tebow!) ad and the betting the spread between Kim Kardashian's measurements and Reggie Bush's rushing and receiving production. Both of which are completely ridiculous, yet sheer genius. Regardless of where you put your money yesterday (we took the overs on Archie Manning appearances and lost), there are plenty of big winners from yesterday's game. And now that we have a government who is feverishly trying to close a deficit gap, the question remains: will the IRS more aggressively pursue taxpayers for their unreported gambling winnings? If you're a degenerate loser than this obviously doesn't apply to you but if you're lucky enough to find some extra scratch in your pocket, you're legally obligated to report that income next year. Our government is looking for solutions anywhere possible, so it's entirely possible that you could find yourself on the wrong end of an IRS-issued shotgun if you're leaving your winnings off next year's 1040. Look, it's not that crazy and the pols need all the ideas they can get. You've been warned.
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Man Who Found $9 Million Lotto Ticket While Preparing His Tax Return Thinks Everyone Should Get Some Perspective
Last Irvin Przyborski found a year-old lotto ticket while he was preparing his tax return and wouldn’t you know, it just so happened to be winner worth $9 million. As if winning the lotto wasn’t lucky enough, Irv managed to cash it in just a few days before it expired. Now you might think to yourself, “$9 million! What a lucky guy! He must be feeling extremely lucky and grateful!” but then you wouldn’t know Irv Przyborski.
Przyborski, reached Thursday afternoon and weary from the day’s constant media attention, was unimpressed with the development. “What’s the big deal? It’s not even worth putting in your paper,” Przyborski said outside his East Side home. “It’s like watching paint dry.” Despite his nonchalance, the 61-year-old retired truck driver admitted he would have been upset had he missed the deadline. Nevertheless, he said the prize was hardly life-changing and he had no grand plans for the money. “Look at the people who are out of work,” he said. “People with Ph.D.s can’t find work. There’s nothing joyful about winning money in a situation like this.”
This seems appropriate.
Under the wire and into the money — $9 million winner: ‘What’s the big deal?’ [CT]
Friday Footnotes: Recovering From Work Outbursts; Auditors and Shoes; Words to Eliminate | 05.08.15
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Former Senator Alan Simpson Is Having Trouble Expressing His Thoughts on Grover Norquist
“What kind of a nut is this guy?” former Wyoming Sen. Alan Simpson said of Norquist.
He told an audience at Wednesday’s Peter G. Peterson Foundation fiscal summit that Norquist was “some guy just wandering around the swamps taking a pledge from people when America was flush, and then pushing people like Orrin Hatch off the cliff as if he were a commie.” Simpson has said similar things to Norquist’s face. [The Hill]