November 29, 2020

The Pioneer Press Has Crowned Its Sexiest Accountant(s)

Back in February, Minnesota's Pioneer Press was on the hunt for the state's sexiest accountant. The search is over.

34-year-old Charlie Metzig of Roseville was nominated by his wife Brittany (cue a group awwwwwww) who submitted a poem heralding the virtues of her beloved hottie:

All the girls may ooh and ahh 
When he talks about GAAP and EBITDA, 
But I'm the one he chose for LIFO. 
Who needs average cost or FIFO? 
He shouldn't doubt he always has me. 
He meets MY standards, and the FASB's. 
I do find him especially foxy 
when he gets going on Sarbanes-Oxley. 
Want to have some real flirtation? 
Ask him about accelerated depreciation! 
You think a lawyer has seduction? 
But can he get me an itemized deduction? 
And if brains and looks weren't enough redemption 
He helped me with three personal exemptions . . . 
He may talk about ratios and present value factor 
but you won't find THIS hottie with a pocket protector! 
He loves to fish, hunt, and camp, he'd say 
Is that true for the rest of the AICPA? 
He spends a lot of time analyzing assets and debt 
But this man ain't afraid to break a sweat. 
He proved his true grit when he did the Tough Mudder. 
And did I mention, he has a hot CPA brother?

The paper has also chosen a female winner, 42-year-old Roberta McKechnie, who must be thrilled others agree with her self assessment:

Our female winner, Roberta McKechnie, 42, of Fridley, nominated herself, citing her modeling experience both as a teenager and as an adult, and her love of fashion as well as tax work.

"Breaking the stereotype that accountants are not personable and will bill you by the second is important to me. Your contest is a fun way to reinforce that change," according to McKechnie. "Accountants can be sexy! Our most important job is to help our clients succeed, but if we can be sexy, too, why not?"

You can check out all 16 (!) entries and photos here. Besides Brittany's amazing tome to her husband, we have to say we got a chuckle out of this one:

"Balance sheets do themselves when she sits at a computer," according to one nomination.

Cue 12-year-old chortling here.

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