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New Hans Necessary If IASB Really Wants IFRS Implemented

This is the fourth installment of our Going Concern freelancer submissions. The following is by Dylan Grey.

A little bird has been whispering IFRS in my ear for years…. Discussed at every financial reporting update. Front and center of every annual SEC "Hot Topics" list. Mocked by CFOs across the US. Back in November 2008, the SEC proposed a "Roadmap" for a possible path of adoption of IFRS and has floundered ever since. Not a word until February 2010 when the SEC announced "yeah, a global reporting standard is a good idea, and IFRS is the best option, but still we still need additional analysis." Anticipation grew as everyone expected a decision from the SEC in June 2011 until SEC Chairman Mary Schapiro announced, "hey, we never said June… just sometime in 2011." Here we are in June 2012 and after the latest "Discord in push for accounting harmony," I can't help but wonder if the IASB chose the right Hans for the job. 

Other than having a delicious sounding last name, Hans Hoogervorst has disappointed as chairman of the International Accounting Standards Board. Sure, over 100 countries currently use IFRS, which is pretty good, but what has Hans done to bring in the US and Japan (sorry China, we don't trust you)? I can't help but wonder if there's another Hans who could get the job done. The IASB needs Hans Gruber. Don't worry, he's not a villain, he just knows what he wants and goes after it. So, I've compared the leadership skills of Hans Hoogervorst to Hans Gruber to find out who should chair the IASB. 

Skill Hoogervorst Gruber Advantage
Compassion Travels the world in hopes of spreading unified accounting standards Willing to set off a nuclear bomb in order to steal $600 million Hoogervorst
Vision Believes in a utopian world where two separate organizations (the FASB and IASB) can separately and simultaneously issue the exact same accounting guidance… and there are dragons Posing as a terrorist group bent on combating corporate greed, organizes an elite team of European mercenaries in order to execute one of the greatest bank heists of all time Gruber
Humility Often mistakes the US and Japan accounting standard setting bodies for people who give a shit about international accounting standards Often mistakes Gary Cooper for John Wayne Draw
Excellent persuasion abilities US? Japan? "I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me the code." Gruber
Leverage team strengths Hoogervorst's team includes people who are experts in accounting Gruber's team includes people who are experts in explosives, sharp shooting, hand to hand combat and computer hacking Gruber

So, by my calculation if Hans Gruber was the Chairman of the IASB, the world would have adopted IFRS some time back in 2010. Mankind would have ascended to new heights of transparency and consistency. The planets would have aligned. 

Personally, I think we're better off with Hoogervorst at the helm.