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Here’s a Fake AICPA Press Release That We Wish Were Real

This is so ridiculous that upon receiving it, Colin did one of those cartoonish double-takes, you know, with the sound effect and everything. The really sad part is minus the swearing, you could almost believe it to be true.

AICPA Launches Three New Professional Designations

New York (November 19, 2013) — The new Chartered Global Internal Auditor (CGIA), Chartered Global Financial Planner (CGFP), and Chartered Global Financial Analyst (CGFA) designations – aimed at recognizing the men and women who demonstrate their competency and professionalism and ability to pay trivial annual fee – launched Tuesday, November 19.

The launch of the CGIA, the CGFP, and the CGFA will be marked Tuesday morning with an interactive business forum and live webcast, simulcast between Detroit, MI and Huntsville, AL. The AICPA released the Chartered Global Management Accountant (CGMA) designation in 2012.

“A few weeks ago, we realized we could make up even more designations to generate fees while CPAs got could get all these new cool letters after their name,” Said Barry Melancon, CPA, CGMA, CGIA, CGFP, CGFA, and president and CEO of the AICPA. “Do you see all those letters after my name? It’s pretty fucking impressive.”

From Tuesday through December 31, 2014, AICPA voting members will be eligible to participate in an introductory period for the three designations by verifying they meet the six month requirement for somewhat qualifying and unverified experience. To renew the designations beyond the introductory period, members will pay an annual fee of $25 through the annual AICPA dues renewal process.

To reiterate for anyone at the AICPA who may be reading this and feels compelled to inform us that this press release isn't real — WE KNOW.