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Ex-KPMG Recruiter Who Got Caught Screwing a Gymnast In Parking Lot Gets Off

Scott Vetere

Forgive us for being late with this update, my “perverted former Big 4 employees behaving badly” Google alert has been acting funky lately.

Back in October we introduced you to Scott Vetere, a randy young fella who boasted an impressive athletic past, a stint recruiting for KPMG, and the skills necessary to bag a young gymnast for whom he provided coaching in his capacity as assistant coach for the women’s gymnastics team at the University of Michigan.

The married father of two and his paramour were busted for getting it on in the back of a car in an apartment complex parking lot near campus, and of course the scandalousness of the encounter led to numerous stories about his bad deed and a court case for being butt-ass naked in public. You know, cops don’t like it when you bang people outside. There’s laws for that, and hotel rooms that charge by the hour if you absolutely must and your wife isn’t cool enough to let you use y’alls rec room couch.

Yeah so ole Scotty went to court for his indecent or obscene conduct in public charge late last month, and according to TMZ Sports, he got off with just a fine (insert “fine piece of ass” jokes here, I’ll allow it).

Considering he could have ended up in jail for three months on a misdemeanor gettin’ it on in public charge, I’m sure he was more than happy to throw a few bucks at the problem. U of M fired him back when the news came out that he’s a serial car cuddler, so money may be tight, but hey, better that than his butthole no longer being such after a stint in the pokey.

So ends the saga of the KPMG recruiter-turned-gymnastics coach who found himself on the wrong side of the law after working on naked synchronized somersaults with an 18-year-old college student. Now you know.