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This Embarrassing Deloitte Mockumentary is Surprisingly Accurate

Posted on by Adrienne Gonzalez

How is it possible this video from Deloitte Belgium has been out in the wild for nearly 3 years and we are only just now seeing it? This thing has "needs to be made fun of by Going Concern" written all over it.

Let's venture into the corporate jungle and meet Homo Deloittus. No really, that's how they describe it. You can see where this is going.

There are so many things wrong with this, it would take us a week and 325 comments just to identify and properly mock them all.

At 0:51, a sexy pair of legs come into frame [cue wolf whistle]. As the camera pans up, we witness hot blonde chick with strolling through the office, taunting her dorky male coworker with her workplace inappropriate sexiness. Then the announcer set up the scene, smoothly purring "In the mating season as well, the Homo Deloittus uses a very special language. Even if the approach to females of the species meets with varying levels of success."

TL;DR: SHUT DOWN

This is obviously an HR violation, although they may do things differently in Europe

I don't know about you all but this made me feel terribly uncomfortable.

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Compensation Watch: Anxiety Continues at Deloitte

Why? Because the partners seem to be pretty good at keeping a lid on things:

[N]o word on raises or communication of raises- all I’ve heard from some partners is “they will be better than last year, but not as good as they have been in the past”, I know most people around here are starting to get anxious.


As we mentioned on Friday, PwC and E&Y have been having a pissing match of sorts but only P Dubs has dropped actual numbers. E&Y will be coughing up official word in a couple weeks-ish or so, but Deloitte? Our understanding is that D’s comp news won’t be known for another month.

Some vets of the firm are used to it. Like GuestDT:

This is really just the blueball conversation for most people – there are a handful who will get unexpected drop in rating or not promoted, but most of that stuff is hinted at as we plan for the next audit year. This is the time of year to go to lunch and hear your counselor say, “Noone’s really said what compensation will be…” But you do get a free lunch.

But the NKOTB are more anxious. D&T 1st Year:

We’re all sitting on our hands as we see managers coming out of counselor meetings crying because they didn’t get promoted to SM. Worse yet, being a 2nd year next year will be rough as we are all going to be senioring our jobs as there are no seniors left. Look out 5th years, you might be senioring again next year too.

So what to do (besides console your emotionally unstable manager)? Start tickling partners until they cough up some ballpark figures, pull out a dartboard or just drop your best guess below.

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Comp Watch ’11: Rumors of Deloitte Adopting New Raise Structure à la PwC

This just in:

I’m hearing rumblings that Deloitte might be the next in line to adopt a PwC-esque transparent raise structure. I don’t have the exact information, but I’ve heard something about making 1.5x your current salary in 3 years.

As you may remember, PwC announced “exciting changes” to their compensation structure back in May that involved three major parts: 1) Transparency 2) Earning Potential and 3) Milestone Awards. The multiple of 1.5x increase in three years is included in the roughly what PwC laid out in their “Total Rewards” document.

This seems to be a pretty typical move from Deloitte, who is notoriously conservative relative to its autumnally-hued rival. I’m sure if this plan is carried out, they’ll attempt to add in their own quirks to differentiate themselves but I’d be surprised if amounted to anything significant. If you hear any more rumors, contrary or supporting of this latest news, get in touch.