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Count Your Blessings For Not Being on These Horrible Inventory Counts

It's that time of year again, I'm busy doing a year-end inventory count of my cats and there may be a few of you huddled in freezers and barns and warehouses around the country asking yourselves "I mean just how material is this variance?"

We asked the auditors out there to share some inventory count horror stories and here are some of the best (or is that worst?).

Let's get right to it:


OK, let's get this one out of the way. Everyone knows a friend of a friend sent to count vats of bull semen. Hey, we even know someone who got caught stealing $110,000 worth of the stuff. But as far as I'm concerned, this is an urban legend of auditing. Really I don't see the big deal, sounds like the perfect Fleet Week for my best friend back home in San Francisco ifyoufeelme.

A follow up observation from a Redditor: "I've heard animal semen stories, those sounds absolutely horrendous. How the hell are you supposed to determine if the semen is still good or not? For all I know, they could have left yogurt under a porch and called it semen."

So since we have doubts about anyone ever having personally counted semen, we'd ask for evidence but… yeah, forget it.


Medical supplies

We aren't talking 20 gauge IV catheters and Chux pads, we're talking dildos. Or rather, Kegel exercisers. This contribution comes from Reddit:

The client was a medical supply company mostly selling vitamins/supplements and orthopedic braces. I selected SKU KGL###. Apparently KGL stands for kegel, so I got to count a box of dildos. The thing that really stuck out to me was that they came in discreet brown cardboard boxes with a sticker on them that said silverware.

If you want stories about incompetent clients I have those too, but I figured a big box of dildos was more up your alley.

Oh you know us so well!


Human body parts

*shudder* You'll have to ask Andrew about that one.


Feel free to add your best and worst in the comments. From bad clients to awful weather, we're here to listen to you. Let's face it, this isn't the kind of stuff you discuss around the dinner table.