Category: KPMG

Happy Birthday Phil Mickelson!

Philip Alfred Mickelson was born 40 years ago on this blessed day (shares with 2Pac!) and we’re guessing it will be a busy one for the reigning owner of the World’s Ugliest sports jacket.

We imagine he kicked things off with 40 Krispy Kremes donuts for breakfast, followed by a little prep round for this week’s U.S. Open, Five Guys for lunch, maybe another practice round and wrap it up a nice dinner with the fam.


All the while, screening calls from Tim Flynn who desperately wants to wish Phil a happy 40th, good luck on his quest for the KPMG Grand Slam and to congratulate him for the umpteenth time on his third Masters Tournament victory.

It really is a big week for Phil/KPMG, as the U.S. Open has dogged PM for his entire career and a good performance this week (i.e. anything less than a win is unacceptable) could vault him over Tiger Woods who has other problems.

So send some Happy Birthday/good luck/Father’s Day/thanks-for-wearing-our-hat-for-$3-mil-a-year wishes to Phil below or just let him know what you think his chances are.

Is KPMG Moving Out of DC?

Maybe! The AP is reporting that KPMG is expanding its Fairfax County Office (i.e. Tyson’s Corner) by moving people from its DC office.

According to an accountant close to the situation, “The Tyson’s Corner office switched buildings, and as a result, had a large amount of available office space. The DC advisory practice (including IRM or whatever it’s called now) moved from the M Street office to Tyson’s. I used to sit on the 7th floor whenever I worked from the office, but the place was in full move-out mode when I went in on Friday.”


Residents of the commonwealth will be thrilled to know that Virginia’s governor approved a $250,000 grant from the Governor’s Opportunity Fund for the “project.” In other words, Virginia taxpayers footed $250k to move dozens of coffee guzzling, poorly dressed 10-key tramps out of the District. And it turns out, many aren’t thrilled about it, “Advisory people are bitching about moving, especially the ones who live in the District.”

But our source also says that the rest of DC office might be packing up:

There’s rumors that the entire DC practice will be moved to Tyson’s, but I don’t know if that’s true [let’s just assume it is, shall we?]. KPMG might be the only one of the big four who still has an office in DC proper, but then again, we’re the biggest of the big four when it comes to Federal clients – and there’s a certain cachet to having that office building in Dupont Circle with the big “THE KPMG BUILDING” emblazoned on the side. [O]therwise it’s been the usual hooplah from management and torrent of “OMG SO EXCITING!” emails, and the staff I know are mostly just “meh.”

If it comes to leaving the District altogether, John Veihmeyer will probably just buy the sign and slap it on the side of his summer house. Can’t let something like that go to waste.

Satyam: Does Anyone Mind if We Take Another Three Months to Finish Our Restatements?

With just a couple weeks until the June 30 deadline for the company to issue its restated financial statements, Satyam is requesting just a little more time to get this mulligan nailed down. Three months to be precise.

Yes, they’re completely aware that it’s been nearly 18 months since the shit hit the fan. And yes, this is the third time they’ve asked India’s Company Law Board (“CLB”) for an extension on the filing but at this point they figure expectations are so low, no one will get too worked up over it.


Except for an “analyst with a leading brokerage house.” who is quoted in the Business Times, “There is no clarity on what is happening within the company. They should have at least provided the current sales figure or the bench strength. How is the shareholder supposed to rate their stock?”

Since more than a few people might be caught up in “sales figures” and whatnot, Satyam went to the trouble to let everyone know that they’re working hard, ordering in, etc. etc. so you can rest your pretty little heads:

A Satyam official said, “The records have been under the custody of investigating agencies and we recently got a court clearance. Also, our auditors (KMPG and Deloitte) told us they need some more time for the restatement. It’s only a matter of a quarter.”

See? It’s just a matter of a quarter. Plus, you can’t really blame them – KPMG and Deloitte are the ones saying they need more time. Satyam has likely been bugging them for months about wrapping up but KPMG and Deloitte are probably complaining, saying things like, “we can’t find any documentation to supports these numbers” and “this doesn’t add up.”

So, TFB if some whiny analysts don’t like it. We’ll just find out just how big of nightmare these financial statements will be in due course.

The KPMG New York Exodus Picks Up Steam

Last month we touched on a possible exodus starting in KPMG’s New York office with the news that a number of people had given their notice to leave the firm. A few readers were not impressed with the news including Hyperbole:

6 people leave a massive office in an industry that even in a slow year expects 10-15% voluntary turn. I’m all for ripping on the firms, but this is a little ridiculous…

“DAMANGE CONTROL BEGINNING: 26 FANS LEAVE LAKERS GAME AT HALF TIME

EXODUS!!!!”


However, another commenter, blah felt that this was just the beginning:

I believe the exodus is coming. Folks are pretty pissed off these days and there are a lot of career opportunities out there right now for us.

Now, here we are, a month later and it sounds as though the numbers are increasing quickly as we have had multiple sources confirm that approximately 12-15 professionals have given recent notice between the banking and asset management groups – two of the largest in the New York office. The majority being SA2s, SA3s as well as experienced managers.

Our sources have indicated that many more are actively looking and that this is not the “normal attrition” that is expected by a firm. One recent SA that gave their notice was kind enough to send us a copy of their farewell email that sounds – oddly – inspired. After drying your eyes (or throwing up in your mouth), feel free to discuss the latest conga line going out of 345 Park.

Allow me to leave you with a few words of inspiration on this most joyous day:

BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY!

Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation – which everyone finds during the day – how long we have been striving for greatness?

Not only the years we’ve been at war the war of work but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle a never-ending fight, I say to you and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! Accountants of New York City, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you accountant is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, accountants of the world… unite. We must never acquiesce, for it is together… TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND…

Let’s Welcome the KPMG Interns with…

…kind words from John Veihmeyer? Obviously! Bagels with schmear? This isn’t 2007. Happy hours where the booze flows like wine? TBD.


The Klynveld interns started this week (an official Tweet from the KPMG Go says there’s over 1,000 coffee go-fers this summer) and we hear they’re starting out with some stimulating training for a couple of days before they head to national training which we hear will be at a HoJo in Fargo, ND. Cutbacks, you know.

We know some of you KPMG vets will be asked to mentor these blades of grass and we’re a little curious about what the guidance has been re: coffee, lunches, booze etc. since TPTB are still squeeze all the hairs out Lincoln’s beard but still want you to convince the hot and/or smart interns that KPMG is the place they want to be.

Anyhoo, we’ll try and bestow some wisdom on this year’s crop with some key thing to remember:

1. Get things started off right and start kissing the new managers’ asses.

2. Business casual does not consist of sweat pants.

3. If we send you on a scavenger hunt, try not to make it obvious.

4. Showing up with booze on your breath isn’t allowed until you’re well into your first year as full time employee.

5. We’re out of ideas… help them out.

PFF Bancorp Creditors Want to Probe KPMG So They Can Determine if They Can Sue KPMG

In anything is better than the shit BP has on its hands news, Reuters reports that creditors of PFF Bancorp Inc are requesting permission from a U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Delaware to snoop around “information in KPMG’s possession” to find out what the firm knew about PFF’s over-leveraged, under-capitalized, risk-loving ways.


The company’s committee of unsecured creditors wrote in their request that “Information in KPMG’s possession may support potential claims against third parties and against KPMG itself, if, for example, it becomes apparent that KPMG knew or should have known at an early date of any overly-aggressive or inadequately-controlled loan practices of the (company).”

So in other words, PFF would like to – pretty please – sue someone’s ass and they’d like to confirm whether or not KPMG will be a good candidate for said ass suing. So assuming the bankruptcy court gives them the thumbs-up, PFF will send in the hounds to find out what’s what. And they’ve covered themselves nicely by using the wonderfully subjective “knew or should have known” so KPMG’s only option will be to invoke the “we were duped” excuse, which isn’t such a flattering option.

KPMG didn’t respond to Reuters’ request for comment or our email but we’re guessing they’re less than enthused about sharing what is in their audit workpapers. Not necessarily because the documentation will have a smoking gun but more so because they might discover that the partner on the engagement has a bad habit of doodling and that’s just embarrassing.

PFF Bancorp creditors seek probe of auditor KPMG [Reuters]

It’s Ridiculous to Think That Enterprise Financial Dismissed KPMG Because of the Restatements

KPMG has been kicked to the curb by Enterprise Financial according to an 8-K that was filed on Friday by the company. The ubiquitous claim of “no disagreements with [insert firm]” was there along with a mention of a material weakness that was related to the restatements issued for both 2008 and 2007 but that couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the dismissal of the auditors:

In connection with the identification of the loan participation accounting error described in Item 7, Management Discussion & Analysis and in Item 8, Note 2 of the consolidated financial statements and elsewhere in the Form 10K dated March 16, 2010, the Company also determined that a material weakness in its internal controls over financial reporting existed during the periods affected by the error, including as of December 31, 2008. The Company’s management concluded that the material weakness was the Company’s lack of a formal process to periodically review existing contracts and agreements with continuing accounting significance. To remediate this material weakness, during the fourth quarter of 2009 the Company implemented a formal process to review all contracts and agreements with continuing accounting significance on an annual basis. As a result of the review conducted in the fourth quarter, management did not identify any other errors in its previous accounting for such contracts or agreements. Management believes that this new process has remediated the material weakness in the Company’s internal control over financial reporting.

So in other words, “Yeah, maybe we should have been looking at these contracts but we weren’t and so some material misstatements slid through. We’ve slapped some duct tape on it and it’ll be fine from here on it. End of story.”

The esteemed pleasure of auditing Enterprise now belongs to Deloitte who has now snagged three clients from KPMG this year (by our count) – picking up Jefferies and Select Comfort back in March.

Enterprise Bank parent dismisses KPMG [St. Louis Business Journal]

KPMG’s Investment in Phil Mickelson Is Working Out Pretty Well, Sayeth KPMG’s Leadership

We just assumed that we had heard the last of the cubicle-side chats with KPMG’s leadership but lo and behold, this morning we find yet another convo with KPMG’s three amigos – T Fly, JVeih, Keizer Soze – sitting in the mailbag.

And yes, Phil comes up.


KPMGconversation

Okay, some thoughts –

In response to Inquisitor #1, Johnnie V. says “our goal is to make sure to not sell services into a company” but then qualifies by saying, “[Making] sure we’re bring the full suite of..services to help them deal with those issues and those problems.” In other words, there is a very fine line between hustling clients for more business and actually serving them to suit their needs.

Re: “Mid-market” – This can be summed up by saying: KPMG is having the most success winning smaller clients from the next tier firms.

And finally to the most important question – Inquisitor #3 thinks Phil is great and all but for the love of everything that is good and holy, are there any other plans to get the name out there? This Five Guys obsession has him worried.

Since Tim and Phil are BFFs, he’ll take this one…except he doesn’t say anything that really means anything. JVeih jumps in (no doubt give him the “WTF are you talking about?” look) to say that KPMG’s Mean Girls strategy is working and the firm is getting far more attention from CFOs than it was just one year ago. The rest of the Big 4 have plateaued and Phil has been instrumental in the glad-handing and back-slapping efforts.

Promotion Watch ’10: Latest Details on KPMG’s New Managers

From a Klynveld Quaker:

In recent meetings with PA Business Unit leadership with all audit staff (i.e. A and SA’s), we were told that of the 32 inidivudals up for promotion to Manager in the combined three offices (Philly, Harrisburg, Pittsburgh), that 22 were officially promoted. Of the 10 that weren’t, at least 1 just came back from international rotation, and either 2 or 3 (can’t remember which) hadn’t passed the CPA exam and therefore couldn’t be considered for promotions. All raise and bonus theories were squashed (as to hard percentages), though we were told to expect some form of raise as well as variable comp at FYE.


So just a shade better than two-thirds of the Keystone KPMGers eligible for manager will be in the new manager class. As you may remember, this is pretty close to the breakdown for one office in the Rockies but a little less than an office in the northwest.

Since the firm has four months to go in its fiscal year, the fact that the local leadership wouldn’t even give a hint comes as no surprise. That said, it hasn’t stopped people from speculating about what they think the increases will be. We encourage you to share what you know, what you’ve heard, or your own wild-ass guess. And keep us updated with the latest in your office.

KPMG Is Getting Hot Over Some of Your Comments on Summer Blast

We don’t need to remind you that there is a long weekend coming up. In fact, some of you may be bolting later today so you could get a jump on a weekend full of bad decisions.

Sensing your anxiety, KPMG wanted to let you know, that contrary to what some people are saying, there are plenty of Klynveldians who are pleased – nay – ecstatic about the KPMG’s Summer Blast.

It’s been suggested to us that “[The] Radio Station engages in masturbation over Summer Blast” which seems about right. The only other thought we had was of John Veihmeyer printing out the most glowing comments and writhing around in them on a conference table (with the Notre Dame fight song playing in the background).


We received the communiqué and have included some of the comments for your own pleasuring purposes:

“I am a long-time employee of KPMG, over 23 years, and have seen a lot of changes occur over that time. I most appreciate the Employer of Choice initiatives that have transformed this firm and made it truly a great place to work. I think it’s the best campaign ever devised by the firm.”

“I’m so happy to see some of what makes KPMG a great place to work is back! It really made my week – made me feel more confident about the future, made me feel like all the hours and hard work are appreciated, and made me even prouder to say that I work for KPMG.”

“Great news to receive on a Monday morning! Thanks so much for the Summer Blast email; I must admit that it has been quite the buzz since the first teaser email was sent. Good to see colleagues hypothesizing about what it could be. Thanks again for the benefits provided through Summer Blast!”

“KPMG ROCKS!!” [Submitted by Tim Flynn]

“I think this is AWESOME that KPMG cares this much about their employees. While other companies are more into ‘what is best for the company,’ OUR firm is saying ‘what is best for our people.’ That goes a long way with me!” [Easy on the caps, Kanye]

“This is such great news! There has been lots of speculation of what Summer Blast would be. The entire package has exceeded our expectations! What an awesome way to start the summer! The staff really appreciate the acknowledgment of our hard work these past few years! Thank you!” [Speaking on behalf of the staff seems presumptuous]

If you don’t see your thoughts here but would like share, fire away.

John Veihmeyer Wins One for the Gipper

[caption id="attachment_10529" align="alignright" width="150" caption="But how does he feel about Charlie Weis getting fired?"][/caption]

A few weeks back we presented the BusinessWeek ranking of accounting programs that found Notre Dame at the top. At first we just figured Touchdown Jesus had something to do with it but now we have reason to speculate that a divine carpenter had nothing to do with it.

Since KPMG Chairman-elect John Veihmeyer was recently named alumnus of the year by Notre Dame’s accounting department, some people might assume that JVeih did a little lobbying of the BusinessWeek folks in order to earn the top spot and perhaps this is South Bend’s thank you for the kind words.


Whether this back-scratching theory has any weight to it is up for a debate but what we know for sure is that some lucky Irish students/future Klynveldians got to hear JV speak recently at Notre Dame Stadium and some inspiring words were shared:

During his remarks, Veihmeyer used his own educational roots and career experiences to remind students what a unique opportunity they have had at Notre Dame and how it will benefit them on the road ahead. His audience listened in rapt attention. While the average college student would have paid just to have dinner in Notre Dame Stadium, these students knew that getting career advice from the Alumnus of the Year and CEO and future Chairman of a Big Four Accounting Firm was priceless.

From the sounds of it, the speech was the KPMG equivalent of this: