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A Brief Word on the Going Concern Freelancer Search

Alright, you guys know me so I'm not going to mince words here but let's just say the entries we've gotten thus far for the Going Concern freelancer spot have been, well, kinda sad. Dismal. Depressing. Pathetic, even. Do any of you actually read the site?

Sure, there are a few gems (you'll be hearing from us) but for the most part, applicants have been behaving as if this is some lucrative Big 4 opportunity and we're the recruiters talking up the illustrious position created just for you. Get over yourselves (trust us, we got over our own selves years ago or we wouldn't be here with you now), we both know that's BS so let's just cut the crap.

Colin is far nicer than I am so he won't say it but I will: BRING IT or don't bother. Serious. Don't waste your time or ours, we all have better things to do.

Applying for the gig like it's a job in public accounting is almost always an automatic disqualification. Again, have you READ this site? We don't want drones, we want revolutionaries. Proper grammar is of course a must (don't ask me how Colin got the job) but so is a healthy sense of humor (note: your love of LOLcats does not qualify as humor for purposes of this position), a bit of self-loathing, a desire to stir the pot and an innate need to make people feel uncomfortable by talking about things that have been silently known but not discussed for years.

If you're on the fast track to partner, want to retain your firm's alleged respect or still haven't shaken off the programming, this might not be the right gig for you. That doesn't mean we're automatically going to reject you for having career goals, just know that helping our objective here (see above re: stirring the pot) and advancing your own career in public accounting just might not work out well together. 

It may sound like a novelty now but let's be real: coming up with content week in and week out about the most boring subject of all time is not easy. It's fun only because we have a good team and get to do (mostly) whatever we want but some days, it's certainly a chore. Our ideal candidate has already tried his or her hand at coming up with content and realizes how unglamorous this can be. 

Truth be told, we're looking for an accounting wonk who actually LIKES delving into the nerdy stuff but can do so in a way that doesn't alienate the 80% of those in public accounting who don't actually give a flying rat's ass. It's a lot harder than it looks. It's especially hard when Colin is breathing down your neck expecting you to populate his editorial calendar on the agreed-upon schedule.

Why are we getting freelancer application emails addressed "to whom it concerns" when if you READ this site you know DAMN WELL to whom it concerns and it isn't to whom it concerns. Frankly, I'm disappointed. I get that some of you are understandably reluctant to give us the best you've got as you're worried we'll publish your full name to berate you for bad application emails but trust us, we have no desire to do so. We want to find amazing writers who are hiding out in public accounting somewhere (or already exiled from it à la Colin or on the fringes of it like me) and in order for both parties to get this to work, we need to trust each other. Let it out. Give us the best you have. I can't promise that we won't make fun of your applications in private email exchanges to each other but beyond that, we won't front you off or ruin your careers (unless, of course, you get the job but we'll talk then…). Gmail is free, go make a fake one under a fake name and reveal yourself later when we offer you the job if you're that afraid.

That's the thing. You can't be afraid if you're going to take this job. I've been called everything from the C-word after we first launched to… well… way too many things. A certain crazy CEO's lackey accused me of being a 45-year-old man directly due to my work here on GC. That's not to be taken lightly. It's a terribly fulfilling gig and as stressful as it has been these last 3 years, it's been worth it to somehow get into the AICPA 125th anniversary and be able to freak strangers out when I tell them I "write for an accounting website." Er, tabloid, depending on who I'm telling. No one is asking you to post your LinkedIn profile to be considered for the job so please keep that in mind.

Are we clear? It's pretty fun but it isn't easy and it certainly doesn't call for "to whom it concerns." Grow a pair for once in your life and say what you've been dying to say for years.

It's been terribly refreshing for me and somehow my career hasn't been ruined in the process so it's really not as scary as it seems.