From the mailbag: “The author is a newly appointed manager and a certified d-bag. His email is serious.”
Hi Guys –
It has come to our attention that there are several people making animal noises around the office. I feel it shouldn’t need to be pointed out that this is not appropriate in the office and can be very uncomfortable/awkward for others. Aside from co-workers, we also have prospects, clients, recruits, etc. walking through the halls on a daily basis. Hearing animal sounds made toward each other does not give a good impression of [a firm who, we are told, is “über-sensitive”] and our abilities to those people. It also does not go unnoticed by partners/senior managers/managers.
Please be mindful of those that could be in your audience. Please see me if you have any concerns or questions.
Okay, team. Lots to discuss here aside from guessing the zoo where these beasts work.
1. I alluded to a noise from a cow, pig, chicken, or maybe even a llama but obviously there is room for other possibilities. Macaws? Beluga whales? Howler monkeys?
2. Are these noises mating calls, expressions of joy, or melancholic song?
3. If our barnyard animals guess is accurate, the firm should ask themselves: why would you hire Goat Boys in the first place?
4. If this some kind of involuntary function, how does one handle this appropriately without running aground of diversity issues?
5. Other thoughts, and obviously guesses to the firm, are welcome at this time.