We’d like to think so anyway. Maybe JT isn’t a potty-mouth but Rahmbo has been known to drop a curse here and there.
JT was in DC last night with several other big wigs, at the Williard Intercontinental solving all our problems: “The participants provided updates on their businesses, discussed when the economy may rebound and offered advice on how to spur job growth.”
Right, because, in case some of you haven’t heard, we’re on a collision course with double-dig unemployment. Thank the Maker they’ve been thinking about hiring people again, “Over salad, chicken and a fruit desert, some of the business leaders said they would start hiring immediately once the economy began rebounding while others said they would wait for revenue growth in their own companies, according to one of the participants.”
This was a two hour date so it couldn’t have been all business. We’re guessing Jimbo tried to loosen everyone up with some inappropriate jokes (feel free to guess what kind) while gnawing on a drumstick like Fred Flintstone but that’s just our vision.
Give us your best ideas on what JT and Rahm talked about privately, just between buds, in the comments.
Emanuel, Jarrett Meet With CEOs From Intel, Time Warner, Dow [Bloomberg]
Author: Caleb Newquist
Founding editor, Going Concern.
The SEC Still Wants a Piece of Mark Cuban
That’s right! Schape and Co. are coming heavy this time bitch. They don’t know who you think you are, Mark Cuban, but you think you can just walk away from avoiding negligible losses to your net worth and get away with it? OH HELL NO.
The Commission is going to continue pursuing your alleged insider trading ass even though they haven’t been able to present a shred of evidence that you promised to sell those shares. No matter, they’ll pull something together.
Oh, and another thing Mr. Man-Child, the Commission won’t be paying your attorney fees. They realize you’re suing out of spite and regardless their hard-on for billionaires in their 50s that wear basketball jerseys, they won’t stand for it.
S.E.C. to Appeal Court Ruling on Mark Cuban [DealBook]
22.4 Million Unanswered Calls Isn’t Really That Many
Customer satisfaction is a tough business. Especially when you’re dealing with impatient masses that need that tax refund NOW, so that they don’t miss an installment on a home equity line of credit.
Unfortunately, the IRS wasn’t able to answer 22.4 million calls for this past filing season. This was during normal business hours and were for various reasons including, “the taxpayers hung up, were courtesy disconnected by the IRS, or received a busy signal.” We’d be interested in the ‘courtesy disconnected’ calls as we’re guessing that it some of the calls may have included:
“Sir, I don’t know what the President will do regarding raising your taxes…No sir, I don’t know for an absolute fact that the President isn’t a socialist…No sir, that does not make me a socialist…Hello?”
To the Service’s credit, they did answer 35.8 million calls during normal business hours (still less than half, slackers) according to the report put out by the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration.
But the higher than expected number of calls obviously caught the Service off guard, since they must have made the terrible assumption that taxpayers would try reading the instructions prior to calling for help on the Presidential campaign contribution.
IRS Didn’t Answer 22.4 Million Taxpayer Phone Calls [TaxProf Blog]
Higher Than Planned Call Demand Reduced Toll-Free Telephone Access for the 2009 Filing Season [TIGTA Report]
Bean Counter Art: The Staff Inquiry
Editor’s Note: The following cartoon was drawn by Jack Britton, a former Big 4 auditor. You can visit his blog, colorcartoon.blogspot.com for more of his work. You can also follow him on Twitter @rumblebozzle.
Occasionally, being a staff auditor involves having awkward conversations with controller/CFO types. You have to ask them about fraud, legal matters, SEC inquiries, etc. etc. Regardless of the tomfoolery going on at the client, these people will not be telling you about it.
If this empty interrogation goes on long enough, the interviewee’s boredom (and possible physical reaction from lying so much) may cause uncontrollable fidgeting, as illustrated above. Discuss your awkward inquiry experiences with your clients in the comments. Especially the ones where you jumped on the conference room table and screamed ‘LIAR!’
Ernst & Young Paid $400 Million to Settle Akai
That’s according to reports from Asia Sentinel. The liquidator of the now bankrupt Akai also, “extracted US$100 million from a local tycoon, Ho Wing-0n, who had allegedly conspired with the then chairman of Akai, James Ting, to strip the company of its assets. Ho himself was a former partner at Ernst & Young until 1990 and has been responsible for the Akai audit.”
Sounds like a nice little back-slapping/glad-handing/ass-grabbing arrangement and depending on how things progress, sounds like another one may be in place:
The size of the settlement against Ernst & Young reflects not only the size of losses sustained by Akai creditors but the years of organised sleaze attributable to Ernst and Young’s Hong Kong operation. If the civil settlements are not followed up by vigorous criminal prosecutions by the Hong Kong authorities, one can conclude that mutual back-scratching and old-boy principles override issues of corporate governance and the responsibilities of auditors.
As you may have noticed, we’re big fans of speculation so, for now, we’ll go along with whole HK Fuzz and auditors back-scratching scenario presented here if no criminal charges arise. E&Y has continually reiterated their willingness to cooperate in the investigation so you can make up your minds on what that all really means.
The liquidator, Borelli Walsh seems to be the catalyst of this case as the Sentinel speculates that if, “it been one of the other of the Big Four auditing firms it is likely that some clubby backroom deal would have been done which would have kept criminal activities well hidden and involved a settlement a fraction of that obtained by Borrelli Walsh.”
‘Clubby backroom deal’? You mean those are real? We’d be curious to know if E&Y in the States has even brought this up internally to address the press coverage. If those of you in the Ernstiverse are getting love letters from JT on this, kindly pass them along or discuss in the comments.
No Accounting for Accountants [Asia Sentinel]
Earlier: Raid at E&Y Hong Kong Was Probably Really Boring
Earlier: EY Doesn’t Want to Be Outdone By Anyone So They Went to Hong Kong for a Scandal
Your Next Career: Ultimate Fighting Champion
Yesterday we suggested some of you might be interested in slumming it for the McDonald’s of the tax prep world. We understand that some of you are way too special to even consider that, so we’ll suggest something completely different.
With all the rage in some of you out there, you’d think that some of you would wake up and get yourselves into psychoanalysis. If you’re Irish, obviously this won’t work, and some of you are interested in getting in touch with your feelings. Fine. Get your rage worked out in the Octagon rather than your gray cubicle. Chuck Liddell will gladly bash your face in while reciting the basic accounting equation to you. Perhaps he even has an opinion on global accounting convergence.
Turns out that Liddell, prior to deciding that knocking people out, appearing on Entourage and dating Playboy playmates was only slightly more fun, got an accounting degree from California Polytech. Look at this guy. If this guy was your audit manager, don’t you think the client would quit f*cking with you? It’s too bad Chuck, you could have been one of the great ones.
As for the rest of you, we realize that this might be a stretch since giving up soda and adhering to any sort of exercise regimen aren’t really realistic but we’re trying to present options people. This seems like a decent one.
Preliminary Analytics | 10.07.09
• AT&T makes iPhone U-turn – “Bowing to pressure from regulators and consumers, AT&T on Tuesday said that it would allow inexpensive internet phone calls to be placed through its networks from Apple’s iPhones.” New Deloitte associates rejoice. [FT]
• Support Builds for Tax Credit to Help Hiring – Seems like a good idea. [NYT]
• Jr Deputy Accountant Needs Your Help. Srsly. – Kidney…Not really. [JDA]
• SEC Says Frank’s Derivatives Plan May Leave ‘Regulatory Gaps’ – “Business reaction to Frank’s proposal suggests it lacks restrictions sought by critics who blame derivatives for speeding the downfall of American International Group Inc. and for exacerbating the credit crisis over the last 18 months.” [Bloomberg]
Review Comments | 10.06.09
• Are Most CEOs ‘Wusses’? – Discuss your favorite. [WSJ]
• Panzner on Goldman Sachs’ “Smart” Money – Thanks to the folks over Goldman Sachs 666 for the plug on AG’s two-part interview of Michael Panzner [Goldman Sachs 666]
• Coke in US family doctors alliance – Since it’s the soft drink they’re talking about it’s even weirder. [FT]
• FASB Gets Practical on a Fair Value Problem – “FASB’s Accounting Standards Update 2009-12 amends ASC 820-10 Fair Value Measurements and Disclosures to clear up uncertainty about how to measure fair value of investments in certain entities that calculate net asset value per share. The guidance is intended to shore up diversity in how investors estimate the fair value of alternative investments such as hedge funds, private equity and venture capital funds, real estate funds, offshore fund vehicles, and funds of funds.” [Compliance Week]
This Is Merely a Suggestion
Look. We realize that there are some unhappy campers out there and things seem completely hopeless. Can’t get any worse, right? Okay, then. Get your ass a job at H&R Block.
Apparently they’re hiring 15,000 people for the upcoming 2009 tax season and all you have to do is get through an 11-week course that costs $200-$300. Since many of you are already tax wonks just take the online assessment in 90 minutes and it’s open book.
No chance in hell? Career suicide you say? Fine. You may be giving up free Gulbis calendars for all you know.
Deloitte Study Says That Half of You Aren’t Scared of Swine Flu. Tell That to a Backstreet Boy
Dammit people, this is serious. Deloitte is doing studies for crying out loud. Yet, over half of you still aren’t completely freaking the hell out over swine flu.
Ordinarily, we’d let this slide by but it doesn’t seem to be a typical Tuesday, so we’ll ask that you bear with us.
How about one of the finest entertainers on the planet getting the H to 1 to the N to the 1? Will this convince you that this needs to be taken seriously?
When a member of a heartthrob boy band that, for all intents and purposes, has been annihilated from popular culture altogether is affected, doesn’t that cause you to stop and think?
Deloitte studies, fine, those are totally meaningless. We’re talking a step below D-List celebrities getting sick. Please reconsider your indifference.
Swine Flu Preparedness: Consumer Pulse Study Fact Sheet [Deloitte Center for Health Solutions]
We Are…ParenteBeard
We know you’ve been anticipating the new name of the merged firm of Parente Randolph and Beard Miller like it was the most recent offspring of Bragelina and we’re happy to report that the two Pennsylvania firms have finally made their decision.
The new firm, which was officially born on October 1st, will be known as ParenteBeard, LLC. Sadly, we were pulling for simply “Beard”, if for no other reason, in honor of Ken Lewis’s sporting of facial hair to work, but what the hell do we know about naming firms? Web CPA quotes their reasoning:
“We selected the name ParenteBeard after considering the collective strengths and attributes of both firms and the significance of this combination,” said [CEO, Bob] Ciaruffoli in a statement. “Our new name honors our histories, while positioning the union as one firm, ParenteBeard.”
Still not convinced about the choice but maybe we don’t know the whole story. Perhaps there’s a serious case of pogonophobia among the top brass. If you’ve got better suggestions for the new firm’s name or discuss your own fear of beards, chinstrap or otherwise, discuss in the comments.
Parente Randolph and Beard Miller Merge into ParenteBeard [Web CPA]