Author: Caleb Newquist

Founding editor, Going Concern.

Employee Satisfaction Survey: GC Edition

In the spirit of what appears to be survey week, we’re honoring requests to do our own survey. Plus we’ve been inspired by some questions that we’ve seen in the comments.
We’ve presented a few questions for you to answer, after the jump. Feel free to add your more appropriate “D” answer to any of them. We also encourage you to keep submitting your questions with multiple choice responses.


Question 1 – I feel that I am recognized for my performance:
A. Too frequently by ass-grabs.
B. Not frequently enough by ass-grabs.
C. I prefer to not be recognized for my performance because I don’t like anyone talking to me and if I have one more conversation with one of these idiots I’m punching that idiot in the face.
Question 2 – Leadership’s communication:
A. Is jamming up my inbox to the point that I can’t locate my porn newsletters.
B. Is helpful when I’m having trouble vomiting.
C. Would be much more tolerable if it was a show tune sung by Hugh Jackman.
Question 3 – I feel that my compensation:
A. Is about as fair as getting kicked in the genitals on a daily basis.
B. Is appropriate if I had not finished high school.
C. Makes my friend, who delivers newspapers, laugh.

Grant Thornton Survey: Financial Statements Are Still Too Complex for the Average Shmo Investor

dumb-and-dumber3.jpgThat’s right! Way too complicated. GT’s survey states that 73% of the finance bigwigs surveyed believe financial statements are too complex for the average investor to understand. That’s bad because even more respondents (82%) said that financial statements should “be prepared to meet the needs of the average investor”.
Strangely, this survey’s respondents, “CFOs and senior comptrollers”, are directly responsible for the still-too-confusing financial statements. Unless, of course, everyone that responded to this survey already has easy-to-understand financials and thus, is thinking, “NMFP”.
Also, average investor is not explicitly defined which doesn’t help us put the survey in context. So we’ll put it out there that if “average investor” is anything remotely similar to the “average American”, the solution to this whole problem may be to get Fisher-Price and reality TV producers involved.
Nearly three-quarters of senior financial executives say financial statements too complex for investors [Press Release]

Face It. Your Resumé Probably Needs Work

Thumbnail image for hire me2.jpgOne way or another, lots of you are looking for jobs. The problem is that many of you have pre-tay, pret-tay, pre-tay similar work experiences. So how do you get your resumé to stand out without attaching nude glamor photos?
FINS has some tips including that may give you an advantage on your pavement pounding competition including:
• The Basics – If you’ve got letters behind your name, put that at the top. Don’t slip it in as an afterthought.
• Demonstrate How Skills Apply – If you’re a badass at anything, don’t be shy. SOX 404, tax planning, M&A, whatever your speciality, make it known.
• List High-Value Experience – Mention how you explained accounting for derivatives to all your clients. Don’t mention nightmare inventory counts.
Head over to FINS to see all their tips including a before and after example resumé. Oh, and DON’T. DO. THIS.
Foot in the Door: The Perfect Accounting Resume [FINS]

Rumor Mill: KPMG Wants You To Stop Smothering Your Kids

Klynveldians, what are you doing today at 2 pm? Nothing? Here you go:

As we continue to observe National Work & Family Month during October,
KPMG will host a national MSO from Lifeworks entitled Being an Involved
Parent: How Much Is Too Much? on Thursday, October 22, from 2:00 p.m. –
3:00 p.m. ET.
This special session is designed to help parents:
§ Understand the traits of overly involved parents
§ Learn the long-term consequences of over-involvement
§ Identify strategies for raising self-reliant, resilient children
§ Find a balance of involvement that will help children ultimately become
independent adults.
If you’d like to join us for this session, be sure to sign up today!

Don’t have kids? No worries. This will load up your queue of excuses for why you’re working late after you enter parenthood.

Are Going Concern Opinions the Kiss of Death?

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for epic-failure.thumbnail.jpgOne thing is for sure: clients don’t like getting them. Auditors may even go out of their way to not give one in order to maintain “excellent client service” or whatever the latest buzz phrase is.
Many companies risking the dreaded explanatory paragraph arrived there on their own accord but if a company is legitimately trying to recover from their stay in financial intensive care, auditors may be piling on by issuing the GCO.


CFO:

Such a qualification can result in tougher-to-get and more expensive financing deals, just when the company is most in need of a break. Indeed, once hit with a going-concern qualification, companies may succumb to a “self-fulfilling prophecy,” say accounting observers. The pariah status such an opinion confers all but forces investors, suppliers, and lenders to turn away, often driving a company on the brink of bankruptcy into a Chapter 11 filing.

CFO’s piece cites the opinion of Al King, former Chairman of the Institute of Management Accountants, who mentions the guidance of auditing rules “don’t allow auditors a wider range of possible warnings.” The situation comes down to one of options: 1) we’re cool or 2) we’re doomed.
That may be a valid point but the idea of an explanatory paragraph that discusses the alignment of the planets along with management’s brilliant plan to save the sinking ship doesn’t seem like the answer.
Nevermind breaking the bad news to your client, who may be living in denial over the state of their company. Or as the Overland Storage situation demonstrated, clients just get their panties in a bunch and start firing auditors. But you still have to the your jobs, amiright?
The GC opinion. Discuss any experiences you have had in comments. Did it involve grown men sobbing like children? Delusional clients? Maybe just gnashing of teeth? Or did the partner fold like a cheap lawn chair in the name of client service?
Living with a Scarlet Audit Letter [CFO]

Preliminary Analytics | 10.22.09

Thumbnail image for DTa.jpg• Former car czar: GM, Chrysler were on brink of death – But no gc opinion? [DFP]
• Galleon Sinks; Informant Surfaces – “Tipper A” has a name: Roomy Khan. [WSJ]
• EU warns Oracle over Sun takeover – Oracle hasn’t really made a case that the takeover wouldn’t be anti-competitive. [BBC]
• Microsoft launches Windows 7 – Microsoft’s obvious attempt to derail the career of John Hodgman. [Reuters]
• Pay Czar Decides to Collect a Few Scalps, a Sign of Weakness – We’re looking for Basterds-like numbers Feinberg! [Naked Capitalsm]
• Wall Street Steps Up Political Donations, Lobbying – “Most Wall Street firms stopped making donations to lawmakers when they were receiving government funds, and many lawmakers stopped accepting them. But now that the companies have begun returning the bailout funds, they are making campaign donations again.” [WSJ]
• Further reading – Thanks to FT Alphaville for linking Francine McKenna’s post on KPMG’s Madoff exposure. [FT Alphaville]

Review Comments | 10.21.09

Thumbnail image for Raj.jpg• Galleon to Begin Wind-Down of Funds – At least one person is optimistic. [DealBook]
• Tax (Return) Stories: F. Scott Fitzgerald – Apparently FSF was not so spendy. [TaxProf Blog]
• Pay Czar to Slash Compensation at Seven Firms – “Kenneth Feinberg, the Treasury Department’s special master for compensation, will lower total compensation for 175 employees by an average of 50%, these people said. As expected, the biggest cut will be to salaries, which will drop 90% on average.” Special master? [WSJ]
• The Top Five Twitter Feeds for Job Hunters in Accounting – Use it. And follow us while you’re at it. [FINS]

Ernst & Young Pranks Involve Heavy Lifting, Possibly Spending $200-$300

In these tough times, office pranks are the perfect remedy for all the bad attitudes out there. Except for you no-fun-under-any-circumstances types.
From an E&Y office in (we’re assuming) the Northeast:

our latest prank was to get the nascar fan in the office a thrill by putting a race car bed over his cube when he returned from his trip to dover for the weekend with some co-workers for the Dover 400 race.

Photos, after the jump


ricky_bobby.jpg
Wonder Bread getting a little exposure.
Thumbnail image for Rickybobby2.jpg
It’s one thing if one of perpetrators boosted this thing from their nephew. It’s a whole new level of prank-commitment if they put it on the expense report.

The Moment You’ve All Been Waiting For

thumbs up2.jpgIf you work at KPMG anyway. We heard that the annual employee survey was sent out today so that’s exciting. The most thrilling news is that FIVE of you will win $200 AMEX gift cards for participating. If there are questions missing on the survey that are not addressed, feel free to bring those up in the comments.
The only other firm that we’ve heard about having their survey is E&Y so if yours is rolling out be sure to let us know.

$500k Will Not Satisfy One CPA’s Quest for Vindication

TOLD YOU.jpgA CPA in Redmond, Washington is receiving $500,000 from the state’s board of accountancy after battling with them for nearly five years over a disciplinary action that probably should have been NBD.

D. Edson Clark had claimed that the state Board of Accountancy was improperly pursuing unwarranted charges against him in retaliation for complaints he had made about the handling of another case. He requested tens of thousands of pages of public records and launched seven lawsuits against board employees over the past two years.


Clark was very determined to clear his good name. So much so that the Board of Accountancy claimed, “it has been disrupted by Clark’s requests, and that his demands for public records are burning up its budget and limiting its ability to function.” Apparently, the Board was so overwhelmed that it threatened Clark with an anti-harassment complaint because the volume of emails he was sending was disruptive.
This brings up some questions: A) How many emails does it take to disrupt an office? B) Did they try hiring a temp? C) Was Clark spending his entire day copying and pasting the same email over and over or was he drafting individually scathing rants? D) At what point does a person cross the line of crazy-ass obsession?
Despite the metric asston of emails received by the Board, a judge in one of Clark’s lawsuits was not impressed with the Board’s handling of the situation:

In an oral hearing in June, Judge Thomas McPhee, a judge in Thurston County Superior Court, said that the board had “developed a pattern of incompetence in answering these discovery requests that is just difficult to believe for a state agency.”

We’re all familiar with governments’ inability to do much of anything but for a judge to put the situation in this context might be a new low for bureaucratic inefficiency.
Don’t worry though, the saga isn’t over as Mr. Clark has indicated that he plans further litigation in order to FULLY EXONERATE himself. Nevermind that the $500,000 is over a third of the Board’s budget. This is obviously personal. We admire the gusto.
Redmond CPA to get $500K settlement from state board [Puget Sound Business Journal]
Redmond accountant, Washington regulator at odds [Puget Sound Business Journal]

Bonus Watch: Follow-up on Grant Thornton

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Grant-thornton-logo.JPGAccording to a tip we received, less than “special” people at GT are receiving bonuses too:

Based upon my salary [the bonus is] about 2%….[I’m] assuming the criteria for a bonus wasn’t as stringent as Nusbaum made it out to be, or the pool was larger than we were led to believe. Based upon the call with Nus, I figured only 5.0 would get a bonus.

A pleasant surprise for some. This particular tip came out of the Southeast region. Apparently these conversations are occurring circa now so continue to keep us updated for your city or region.