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January 27, 2023

Apparently EY’s ‘Program Mercury’ Is Hot Garbage and Some Folks Are Understandably Upset About It

Garbage

Being a Tuesday after a holiday (for some of us lucky bastards, anyway) today feels more like a Monday. I’m sure no one except Bramwell has noticed, but I rarely if ever work Mondays unless you count our mandatory conference call in which the GC team tries to figure out how to monetize long strings of angry text about accounting firms. So, let’s just say I wasn’t highly motivated to bust my hump looking for something interesting today.

And then I found this. I know how Reddit feels about us crossposting content (“clickbait bullshit,” “content churning Buzzfeed crap,” “get a life, nerds” are just a few of the colorful epithets we’ve heard over the years when we dare speak of /r/accounting around these parts) but this was just too good not to share.

Writes OP:

Submitted and got expense report approved last Monday. Called today why I haven’t been paid. Apparently Mercury doesn’t work and nobody in the firm is getting reimbursed for expenses until they can fix it. I love EY technology! /s

Now those of you like me who may have a $10 Starbucks card on the company dime here or there might be asking yourselves what the big deal is, and normally I’d agree with you until we get to this part:

I have $9k on my card due.

NINE Gs. If OP were a loan shark, the clown in charge of this mess would have both kneecaps broken by now.

The worst part is Mercury is allegedly (I say allegedly because it appears this is more of an “on paper” rather than “in practical application” thing) “a key enabler of EY’s Vision 2020, directly supporting the efforts of a number of transformation initiatives across the Firm by streamlining the application portfolio, reducing operating costs and providing a platform to deliver services more efficiently.” Clearly.

Anyone else over there having trouble? Feel free to let us know and give us a holla if you need a GoFundMe or something to get you through these dark times. Obviously there are kinks to be worked out and I’m sure staff will be totally patient while the firm figures this out. Like this individual, who has it right:

just ignore the bills due. they can s my d if they think i’m going to float my own money to a multi billion dollar firm.

I mean… it’s a fair statement.

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