Earlier today we brought up some less-than gentlemanly behavior going on at PwC Ireland. However, that wasn't the first story of misuse of email coming from the Emerald Isle. You may recall a few bros at KPMG asking for some assistance winning a trip to Whistler, which was received with mixed reviews in the States. Anyway! Now comes the story – courtesy of our sister from another mister, Dealbreaker – about another KPMG associate maybe not using the best judgment, sharing his plans for putting the moves on a special lady friend with his mate over firm email. From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 10:24 To: John [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Good night on wed man. Good old craic. Any luck with the ladies Kind Regards, Ian [redacted] Financial Services Audit 2 Harbourmaster Place IFSC Dublin ____________________________________________________________________________ From: John [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 10:28 To: Ian [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Was a very good night. Got very messy in the end. No luck with the ladies. Had my eyes on this one girl, [redacted]. Some piece of work. But bottled it in the end _________________________________________________________________________________ From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 10:45 To: John [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed I know the one your talking about alright. Shes friends with one of my mates in my year. Seems like a nice girl. Gonna chance it next time _____________________________________________________________________________ From: John [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 11:24 To: Ian [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Definiately going to stick the head in next time. Falling behind on this whole k score thing. Need to get on board. Shes top notch in fairness What u reckon? ______________________________________________________________________________ From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 11:40 To: John [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Ya, sure go for it if you like her _____________________________________________________________________________ From: John [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 11:48 To: Ian [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Alright next thurs, im gonna stick the head in. Just wait for the right moment. (When shes drunk) and she cant say no. Got this unreal technique for scoring aswel, called the whisper. I pretend im whispering in her ear and when shes not looking I just kiss her. The element of surprise throws then off and BOOM. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 12:04 To: [the girl] Subject: Wed Hey [girl], Thought id give u the heads up about this chap John here. Think he has some serious plans for you __________________________________________________________________________ From: [everyone who was forwarded this] To: [everyone they know] Subject: read from the bottom up!!!
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Here’s Your Open Thread for KPMG Compensation Discussions (2016)
- Caleb Newquist
- September 28, 2016
Now that it’s fall, many public accounting professionals have been rewarded for all the hard work they put in last year. Some people are happy, some people are sad and everyone is still thinking, “I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”
KPMG’s ‘Next Level’ Is Here and You’re Probably Going to Be Very Disappointed and/or Confused
- Caleb Newquist
- June 6, 2011
For those of you that have been anxiously awaiting the details on KPMG’s “Next Level” like the Royal nuptials, we have the details straight from John Veihmeyer and Henry Keizer (via a couple of tipsters). Before we get to the message from The Gipper and Hank, you should be warned that if your excitement was piqued by the “Next Level” movie-trailer video, you might – MIGHT! – not be that enthused with the actual “Next Level.”
With that said, let’s turn it over to the boys:
Welcome to the Next Level: Our High-Performance Culture
A Message from John Veihmeyer and Henry KeizerIt’s no secret that we operate in an increasingly c ve environment, one in which our clients—both internal and external—are demanding more from us every day. More than ever, they need the skills and services we can bring, as long as we continue to raise the bar on our own performance and add more value and insight than ever before. To meet these demands and take full advantage of the opportunities ahead of us, we must be committed to fostering a High-Performance Culture, one in which we have the best people, with the skills and determination to deliver above and beyond.
If you managed to make it through that paragraph, you’re probably queasy already. The bad news is, it gets worse.
By now you’ve likely heard about our focus on high-performance culture. But chances are you still have some questions about exactly what it is, as well as what it means for you and for the firm as a whole. That’s why we’ve created The Next Level, a Web-based orientation for all partners and employees.
This mandatory 1 CPE credit self-study program will help you to:
• Articulate the key elements of our High-Performance Culture (HPC) initiative, including why it is critical to our firm’s success and your individual success
• Describe what the firm is doing to drive HPC, as well as what’s expected of you
• Identify and model the key attributes of high performers to elevate your own performance
• Effectively use our streamlined performance development process
• Give and receive feedback more effectively
• Most important, you’ll learn how high-performance culture will help you to share in our collective firm success, build skills for tomorrow, and have pride in being part of something extraordinary.
• The deadline for completion of The Next Level is July 7. (Note: All partners and employees are required to participate in this self-study program.)Thanks in advance for your participation! And keep in mind that this is only the jumping-off point… you’ll be hearing a lot more about our HPC efforts in the weeks and months ahead.
Okay Klynveldians, I don’t know about you all but I’m still not sure if I understand what the “Next Level” is. What is clear is there is nothing in this email about loyalty bonuses, allegations of gender discrimination or the opportunity to wear jeans (given that you’ve got a five-dollar bill in your pocket).
BUT! There is something about a “high-performance culture,” which gets its own acronym so that might be the “Next Level.” Then there’s stuff about a web-based orienation, feedback, streamlined something or other and MANDATORY PARTICIPATION FOR EVERYONE (this means you, 30+ years partner who can barely turn on your laptop). Granted, I’ve been out of the HoK for quite some time so maybe I’m misinterpreting John and Hank’s prose but this “Next Level” seems like the same “level” only with a few more hoops to jump through and definitely more emails from J&H that may or may not explain how this will “foster a high performance culture.”
If you’re more hip to this, please enlighten everyone. But if you’re confused, annoyed or mortified with disappointment you can share those feelings too.
KPMG Was Never Out of the Consulting Business, FYI
- Caleb Newquist
- March 13, 2014
As we all know, the period of time circa 2001-2002 were not the best of […]
