Grant Thornton is really making our lives easy today: “Grant Thornton has agreed to pay nearly £6,000 in fines and costs after it failed to correctly sign off 43 audit reports.”
Measly fine, obv but 43 audit reports? And a incorrectly signed off report is one that, “had not been signed off by a responsible individual of the firm”.
So apparently the Brits have got their interns signing off on the audits. Gold star for you today, GT.
ICAEW fines Grant Thornton over audit sign-offs [Accountancy Age]
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Harry Markopolos was in Serious Need of Clean Underwear While Investigating Bernie Madoff
Super-star fraud detector Harry Markopolos was named Certified Fraud Examiner of the Year at the ACFE Fraud Conference and Exhibition in Las Vegas last week where he discussed his excellent card-counting method and the Madoff Ponzi scheme.
Harry wanted to everyone to know that just because he blew the whistle on Master de Ponz, that didn’t mean he was a hero. “Heros are brave”, he said, “I don’t think I was brave. I know I wasn’t.” He went on to describe his lack of bravery:
“When I started this case, my underwear were white, they quickly became brown and often times turned yellow”
Okay, after that sinks in, let’s discuss some things:
• We don’t want our fraud detection super-heros to tell us that they soil themselves. It ruins the sex appeal.
• Harry Markopolos wears tighty-whiteys. We were certain that he was a boxers man.
• Was no one helping this guy out? You couldn’t let the guy have a break so he can properly evacuate?
Seriously, the least Marko could have done is stuck his dirty undies, the whites, in a case so the ringer wouldn’t look empty.
Go to Clip 3, “The Math Never Worked Out for Us” on page linked below to see the video. Meanwhile, we’re busy looking for new fraud detection hero that can control themselves.
Madoff Whistleblower Named CFE of the Year [fraudconference.com via Accounting Nation]
Accenture Loves Animals, Just Not Tigers
After taking a stab at making the Tiger image still work and then realizing that the Andersen treatment was the only way to go, Accenture has rolled out their new advertising campaign.
Rather than take your suggestion that an ultimate fighter — with an accounting degree no less — would be the best route, Accenture has decided that sticking with the animal mantra was the best way to go.
The Journal spent 1,100 words telling us about the new Earth shattering idea:
After nearly a month of focus-group testing and production work, Accenture is rolling out the new global marketing campaign this week. The creatures, which include an elephant, a chameleon and some frogs and fish, will star in a series of TV, print and online spots.
…
One of the posters shows an elephant balancing precariously on a surfboard. The text reads, “Who says you can’t be big and nimble?” Another ad shows a frog leaping over three others, with the tagline, “Play quantum leapfrog.”
So the marketing team is sitting around, drinking bottled water, drumming on the conference table and suddenly, someone blurts out “You know, Tiger is man but it’s also an animal.”
Everyone stares at this fool that just said the stupidest thing they’d ever heard, “And?” one team member snaps back.
“Well, since everyone is used to Tiger, which is also an animal, we’ll just replace the man with animals that aren’t tigers. That way, people will still think ‘animals = Accenture is good’ but not ‘the guy named after an animal is a cheating bastard.’ Get it?”
The light bulb finally clicks on for everyone else. “You’re right. We’ll just put animals that aren’t tigers in the ads. No one cares if animals cheat on their spouses. Brilliant!”
Prior to this revelation, Accenture apparently considered jugglers and jump ropers. We understand this was five alarm blaze for the company but elephants on surfboards and leap frog was the solution? Maybe they’re just had the whole animal thing on the brain and couldn’t shake it.
But hey, what do we know? We’re sure it’ll be a huge success. Can’t wait for the Super Bowl commercials. Get those frogs to drink beer and then you’ll have a winner for sure.
After Ditching Tiger, Accenture Tries New Game [WSJ]
Caption Contest Reminder: We’re Feeding the Pig, Just Quit Freaking Us Out
If Orwell had written an allegory of capitalism, we’re sure his vision would have included Benjamin Bankes.
Jump over the original post to leave your caption for Ben’s appearance at the New York City Marathon. We’ll take submissions through the end of the day tomorrow.