Wanted: Big 4 Bean Spillers

Since some of you might not be spending your weekend consuming massive quantities of red meat, and thus, might be a little bent out of shape, we thought we would present a couple of quotes from “farewell emails” provided by readers.
Granted, these have probably made the rounds but we’ve included our favorite passages to demonstrate just how bitter some people are. Hopefully this will result in self-reflection for some of you but for some of you, it may be the sign that you’re beyond help.
Feel better about yourself (or pretty much the same) after the jump

Former PwC, who is obviously concerned about the mass soda consumption:

I would greatly encourage some kind of weight loss challenge to be implemented firm wide. The herd of water buffalo you call your work force is embarassing and a bit gross. When I call a co worker over from 2 cubes down and they are legitmately out of breath when they get to my cube it may be time to knock off 10 or 80 pounds. The company seems to encourage this obesity; each busy season we get a giant package full of pixie sticks, chocolate and assorted sweets. As much as I would enjoy type 2 diabetes, I think I’ll pass.

This particular former Green Dot should seriously consider some Dr. Phil time:

I would like for you to take note that Deloitte’s continuous lying and deceit is not acceptable to me or anyone else. Deloitte has been the biggest Disappointment because they are Deceitful, Demoralizing and De-motivating to their graduates who they should be uplifting as they are the foundation for future leaders of this country…When I started at the DGA I was promised many things, house on the hills and a black convertible to name a few. I was told that all the sacrifices I make during the programme would be worth it in the end. I ask how will it be worth it and when is the end?

iPhones are one thing but if the new recruits are promising black convertibles, for crissakes, please let us know.
These two examples certainly give credence to the notion that on call psychoanalysts for Big 4 employees should be given serious consideration. If you’ve got more examples out there, shoot them our way. We’re here to help as many of you as possible.